m's desk

just wanted to introduce myself-

i'm a third-year biomedical engineering student. i love chemistry, biology, and science.

i'm kinda obsessed with coffee, pain au chocolate pastries, and da beanz. all kinds of beanz.

my favorite stationary item is the BEMLP gel ink pen, 0.35 mm.

I write most of my notes in pen. homework is in pencil or typed, depending on whether or not it requires coding.

coding is the bane of my existence.

i survived! today was exciting but really stretched my brain. this week is really big for my research- i'm doing my first self-designed experiment tomorrow and i'm excited/scared/uncertain. i'm trying to remind myself that fear and excitement feel the same to our body, it's just how we think about those physical feelings that changes the mental feelings.

i’ve also been grappling with…why i do what i do. like, ultimately we’re all little specs of matter and energy that are so small in the grand scheme of things. and it’s been hard lately to not just give up and let god take the wheel.

but we’re all here for some purpose. ultimately god (whoever they are) has HAD the wheel for a while and we’re all just…going along for the ride. we’re lucky to have the resources, opportunities, and people that we have, and should always work for more.

while it doesn’t seem like it, it’s a blessing to be stressed about school. it’s a blessing to worry about grades. because at least we CAN worry about grades. at least we CAN worry about school.

education is a human right—but right now it feels like a gift.

to do:

finalize experiment for tomorrow

start working through data analysis for instrumentation lab

modeling homework

i was truly in circuit jail today. instrumentation lab was so bad that i have to go in tomorrow to get the correct data 😭😭

although the lab in golden hour is unfortunately quite aesthetic. so do with that what you will.

also also also pizza at lab meeting today! i made nanoparticles after ages and spent some time relearning how to do it. my particles were a tiny bit small (they should be around 200 nm).

now i'm just watching my cdrama after eating a delishos dinner. no studying tonight.

hi friends. i survived today! i had my instrumentation exam and a modeling quiz B2B and...it was rough. but thankfully, the hardest part of my week is mostly over and i'm happy that finished both assessments.

today wasn't a complete crashout –– the instrumentation exam was difficult but i did my best. i high key resented studying for the exam so i'm happy it's over.

i do have things due tomorrow though. but no expectations.

today i won a sunset lamp thingy! it makes my room look really nice. i did go to lab for a little bit of time but then came home as i was too tired.

to do:

instrumentation lab spreadsheet

build circuit for instrumentation lab

long day today. although very productive. the grind resumes.

today was my first day making nanoparticles on my own! i only made the solution today, and i'm going to do the freeze-thaw and extrusion steps on…friday. i also desperately need to write my proposal but i don't think i can get to it before thursday.

i also need this week to get over soon because i was genuinely tweaking today. like, someone sedate me. please.

like, let me listen to my bach and pretend i'm an alchemist. that's all i want. or turn me into a frog and put me in a warm little pond. that's also an option.

today's work is much like yesterday's-

to do:

finish polymer chemistry homework

finish tissue engineering reading

redo instrumentation quiz 2

correct instrumentation homework

🎧: bach violin concertos (bach is bae, prove me wrong)

i'm really stressed/scared for this week. i have my first instrumentation exam on thursday, an instrumentation quiz tomorrow, and a modeling quiz on thursday 😬. but nothing some mint tea and a mug cake w/ vanilla ice cream can't fix

i also have something due almost every day this week. which is scary because everything is huge as fuck. but i'm going to make sure to take care of myself. good grades are nice, but i have to be there to enjoy them :)

today i had polymer chem and tissue engineering. loving both. we're learning about polymer mixing and my professor's slides about equilibrium were so pookarina.

i also went into lab today, and had my weekly research seminar as well. i'm having so much fun now making scientific decisions, and i'm really excited for next week because i have a lot of experiments planned.

i think i ate with today's fit and i wanted to share.

to dos:

finish modeling homework ✅

study for instrumentation quiz

finish modeling lab to get checked off tomorrow

instrumentation lab spreadsheet

(god this is a lot) finish tissue engineering journal club paper + figure

happy friday!!!

highkey died in instrumentation lab today. so i actually don't know how to make a circuit and kinda died. i think the TA hates me and it's only lab 1. BUT they seem so chill and i hope they grade easy as fuck.

although free pizza at lab meeting! i actually just kinda sat there and nodded while i ate my pizza.

here's a cute picture from last year that i took at another cafe just for shits

today is the weekly friendgroup hangout, but still-

todo:

guys lookit this salad i made. normalize unaesthetic food pictures. i lowkey also ate so much deep fried food today. my lunch (is it still lunch if i ate at 3pm) was onion rings+fries with queso and ranch (so basically an oil rig) and my salad had some more of that breaded tofu i made yesterday but cut up.

not that it's wrong/bad to eat deep fried food. life is too short to regret.

i also am so cooked for my instrumentation class right now. we begged and pleaded to get an extension and prof gave us 1 DAY. not even the weekend. it's not like he's going to grade it before next week's exam...so why the rush.

me in circuit jail:

modeling quiz was ok. i finished it! so therefore i successfully served cunt.

n e ways. i'm going to crank out as much as i can before i need to switch gears and do stuff for my instrumentation lab tomorrow.

tasks:

instrumentation homework. just do it. ✅ (big slay 4/6 problems done 2 days before the due date)

instrumentation pre-lab lecture. ✅ (guys this was so much shorter than what i'd thought it'd be)

optional: research proposal (fook dat im going to bed)

🍵: osmanthus tea.

salutations, legumes.

today was good. i did science. i synthesized a polymer last week, and i wanted to see what it looks like...so i stuck it in some big beige boxes and zapped it with some lazers.

I also made this fried tofu bowl after work. the salsa and the pico de gallo are both from an event that one of my roommates stole leftover food from. the tofu is breaded + fried, and i ate it with some rice and cucumber.

today's classes were tissue engineering and pchem. also good classes.

i do in fact have work :(

continue research proposal

study for modeling quiz ✅

instrumentation homework (what the fuck is this)

hi beanz. welcome back.

picked up this sparkling lemon soda from an italian deli near my house on my walk home to drink as i study.

today, i had my biomedical modeling and my biomedical instrumentation class. both of these are my most difficult classes, so i have to put quite a bit of work into them.

in modeling, i learned how to serve cunt about partial differential equations and modeled cellular diffusion using a partial differential equation. this class is actually so cool and it's an easy favorite. i have a quiz on thursday, so i have to study for that.

instrumentation is...confusing. this first portion of the course has been a review of my circuits class from fall 2023. which i then basically repeated in my signals/systems class last semester. but somehow i still don't really understand what's going on so maybe i need the review. i have an exam next week and need to lock tf in.

i also have some stuff to do for research. i have a proposal to write due on feb 15th, and ideally would like feedback from prof next week. so that means this needs to get written by lab meeting on friday. i haven't even made a document. absolutely cooked.

to do:

finish start 4 problems in instrumentation homework ✅

redo pharmacokinetics example for modeling quiz

start modeling homework 2 ✅ 1/29

start research proposal ✅