So... It's been a while since my last personal post on here. I guess I didn't have something interesting to say, I don't know.
But guess what? I just got diagnosed with ADHD. At almost 45 years old. After years of struggle and self doubt. After an almost complete existence of thinking I'm dumb and stupid, that I can't fit in, that I'm weird, that I'm incapable of doing simple things because I must be the laziest person on Earth, etc.
Being diagnosed so late in my life makes me 50% relieved but also 50% angry/sad.
I should have been diagnosed in the early 1980's when I was a child. But ADHD wasn't a thing in France back then.
The first time I heard about ADHD was during the 1990's, and it was seen as an only boys' problem that was happening in the USA and treated with Ritalin so the kids would be quiet. So yeah, I didn't feel like it could apply to me. Also, being a queer and depressed teenager with gender identity issues was more than too much to handle.
A few decades later, life aggravated my symptoms. Because I had PTSD and chronic depression on top of that, no professional would listen to me when I told them about ADHD.
Now, I'm struggling with professional burnout (the second one in 6 years), precarity and poverty because I can't keep a job.
So yeah, getting finally diagnosed feels like a huge relief. I'm not battling against an invisible threat anymore. I must tame my brain, with or without medication, and with lots of therapy.
Wish me luck, like! Also, if you wanna talk about ADHD, I'm here :)
