do you have any insight on dealing with imposter syndrome and feeling like you're lying to yourself?
i had to look up what imposter syndrome meant so i apologize if my advice isnât that fitting or if it doesnât help,
i often feel like iâm lying to myself, or that iâm not the person i think i am, or im a different person than how people perceive me, and itâs got even worse once i started to stream.
as for feeling like u donât know urself and therefore are lying to yourself:
i think a big thing we have to realize is that we are allowed to be different people day to day, changing as you grow up, changing based on your environment, changing when you are with people vs yourself. itâs all normal i promise. we donât have to categorize ourself as a specific type of person, like a character in a movie with specific characteristics that they donât very from. we are human, itâs okay to evolve with time and contradict yourself. be introverted AND extroverted. you are allowed to be sensitive and closed off. your allowed to get angry even if you are sweet most of the time. i struggle with trying to act as a character, a show iâm preforming. a persona, if you will. and i try to do this because if i donât, if i fail to define every part of my personality in a tangible sense, i feel i donât know myself. humans are meant to be complex.
as for imposter syndrome, there are a lot of different types:
if you are feeling you are unworthy/undeserving of the things you receive; i get it. in school i was in gifted programs but never felt deserving of it. i felt stupid when i saw all the other gifted kids, my grades were bad, the gifted kids called me dumb but all the other kids would call me smart.. i never felt like it. i felt like i knew more about all the things i didnât know then what i did know. whether it is with school titles or even streaming, i look at everything everyone else has done to get to the position iâm in and i feel like iâm not worthy of it all. why me, i didnât do anything/enough to deserve this? someone must have got it wrong. be kind to yourself. try and find all your talents, all the sweet parts that make you you. imposter syndrome stems from confidence issues. insecurities. just as you would any issue like it: face your insecurities, realize your talents and utilize them. stop comparing yourself. you have received everything you have for a reason, other people have different paths, that doesnât mean yours is untrue. donât hide from your feelings. how you feel you donât belong or are unworthy, lean into those. feel them, so then you can begin to heal them. donât let it hold you back. it can be very unmotivating believing you have wrongly gotten far, no matter how much you feel a fraud, keepďżź pursuing what you want, your goals, donât let anything hold you back. so what if it was all a fluke. use it to your advantage. if all else fails, if you canât see how deserving you are, make yourself believe it. become what you view as deserving.
and this doesnât have to be work/school/career related. some people believe they arenât deserving in general, in life. for the life they now have, the kindness they receive, the people in your life. you must realize the things that have happen to you do not define you. from the moment you were born you were deserving of everything. everything that could make you smile and feel all happy and warm inside. your deserving of it all. because you always have been, and always will be.
if you feel you could always do better, that you need to be best and do it solo otherwise you feel unworthy; i get this too, being born a natural perfectionist at the core but also with my mental issues like my OCD. some days i donât even brush my teeth, and itâll be 7pm and iâll be sitting in bed hating myself for not doing enough, not being enough. in my streaming, when i was at my peak, i felt like i wasnât funny enough, not deserving of all the views i got, that someone else could have done better with all iâve received. if you have ever felt like that, or like if you arenât the best you are nothing. that sometimes your hardest isnât even enough, and even if you work and receive what you want, you couldâve done better. YOU ARE HUMAN. it is okay to not be perfect. itâs okay to not push yourself all the time, just because you didnât push yourself to exhaustion doesnât mean you are any less worthy. itâs okay if you didnât do âall you couldâ, itâs okay if you asked for help from people, itâs okay to not do it solo, that doesnât mean you donât deserve what comes your way after all that work. sure some people may work harder, good for them! and good for you for doing your own thing! you donât need to work harder than others to prove your worthiness. you donât have to be great at everything. donât burn yourself out. itâs okay to be average! come join us over here at the mediocre club, i promise we are just as worthy of good as anyone else. and you do have talents. for some reason we see talents as something that only other people can have, because if we can do it.. it must not be that impressive, right?
trust the judgment of those around you. you earned it, so trust yourself. they arenât being nice, they are being honest. itâs not luck. youâre not a fake, youâre human.