kinda punk rock maybe

reblog if you’d rather have a golden retriever be president than donald trump

Lily 2016

also better hair

today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”

this post had me in tears

My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so I tried to say “quick” and “fast” at the same time and I ended up screaming “QUACK” which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn

This Halloween I was handing out candy and a child said “trick or treat” and I smiled gave them their candy and apparently my mouth betrayed me and I said “Merry Christmas” and proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky for answers while their mother laughed at me :)))))

I was switching between “Bye Deanna” and “Goodbye” and I ended up saying “Go Die”

Sometimes I try to say “I fucking love you” but it comes out in the wrong order and then everyone’s uncomfortable.

When I first started my coffee shop job, I was still getting used to greeting customers as they came in the door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to say, “How are you doing?” and “What’s up?” I ended up demanding “What are you doing here?!”

something really cool happened once at the office and i started to say “i’m so amazed” but halfway through my mind changed to “that’s really amazing” and i just ended up saying “i’m really so amazing”

one time i was out in the woods in the spring when the birds were just beginning to come out again and i went to say “i’m so pumped for the birds” and “i’m so hyped for the birds” and instead i said “i’m so humped for birds”

one time I was monitoring a bunch of grade twos at lunch and they were getting wild so I screamed “sit” and “shush” at the same time and I ended up yelling “SHIT” at all these little eight year olds. at least they shut up

ohno-niall

Or:  ”walking your drunk-ass friends home from the bar”

That’s it I’m deleting

This is in another language but this conversation is universal, so we understand every word.