I'm not dead yet, so I guess I'll be alright

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

you’re not hopeless you’re just really really tired and in desperate need of a break and im shaking you by the shoulders and telling you that all is not hopeless but you do need to rest

you’re not an inherently bad person you’re just exhausted and you’re thinking about all of your mistakes but forgetting the good you do. fatigue is lying to you, just take a nap if you can for the love of god before you start apologizing just for existing

I met Alex Hirsch today and he drew a little picture in my sketchbook

please please please be aware that if you and your friends get addicted to saying YIPPEEE like fortnite und cola yippee it will have an intoxicating effect and you might accidentally say it in a really important business meeting to a bunch of men you don't know

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

STOP REBLOGGING THIS my phone is glitching an astronomical amount and I immediately knew the culprit was one of my tumblr posts gaining traction

DONT STOP ME NOW!

I've seen this clip many times, but never really appreciated the power of "what was her problem?" Just casually assuming that lesbians come in a wide variety of shapes and being inclusive. As a transbian who is probably still closer to Homer shaped than to my ideal, that's huge!