“Roger’s favourite game is crushing his feed bucket! Roger is our alpha male kangaroo, he is 10 years old, height 6ft 7, weight 200 pounds and 100% muscle. I raised him from a tiny orphan baby kangaroo.”

I never would’ve remembered biting down into the seam of these things, often splitting them into two near-perfect halves. The texture was bad, the taste was bad, and yet…I chomped.

the smears, yall. these r sum good ass smears

Millenials: you're right it's terrible but you're super wrong about why. It's actually making us feel super connected and informed about every tragedy in the world in real time and we're all stuck in an echo chamber of sadness and despair as we watch your generation destroy every last drop of hope for profit before leaving us with a ruined economy and shame for not being able to live up to a standard of success no longer achievable as it was back in your day.

but not for “the day after tomorrow”

Overmorrow = the day after tomorrow

Ereyesterday = the day before yesterday

Rhotacism (n): excessive use of the letter “R”

Lingible (adj): meant to be licked

Whipjack (n): a beggar, specifically one who is pretending to have been shipwrecked

Yerd (v): to beat with an object with a stick

Roddikin (n): the fourth stomach of a cow or a deer

Balbriggan (n): a type of fine cotton, most often used in underwear

and my personal favorite