bite down ch 3. - but NOT FUNNY ‘Ha ha’. FUNNY WEIRD…
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Ariana checked her vibrating phone while her group joined a stream of classmates headed down the sidewalk outside of Jada’s. “They’re moving it indoors.”
A campus wide text had pinged phones as four of six joined their Great Migration hiking in from all corners of the campus and up the hill to the chapel. For them, it was a short walk to the stark white, steepled building situated beside the dark, usually turbulent lake at the mountain's base. A former meeting place for civil rights leaders, it had been erected in the forties on the same plantation land as Jada’s building. She and Cairo had gone ahead to prepare.
It was a wonder the memorial hadn’t been canceled since the rain had gone damn near torrential, violently pelting everything at the sky’s mercy, including the students. PSCU Panthers rushed past the mighty gold cross that served as the chapel’s sign toward the wide, red brick staircase leading to the wraparound porch, shoes squeaking, umbrellas and shoulders clashing in their haste.
The sanctuary provided just that as Ariana joined the slow-moving crowd pushing inside from the lobby. The lobby’s original wood paneled walls and damp, creaking hardwood floors were preserved by the university. Ariana followed behind Paris' lazy swagger, catapulted into past memories where half-sticks of chewing gum and peppermints distributed by lace-gloved hands were passed through the pews; other folks would stuff folded dollar bills into shining gold collection plates.
What twenty-four year old Ariana didn’t appreciate was being tasked with recovering from the trauma. The sting of rejection lingered from the church members' dismissal. Many times, they had claimed to be praying the devil away from her, and still were according to unsolicited weekly updates from Amir and Erica. She sighed upon realizing she’d been spotted, dropped off the white lilies she’d gotten for Sade, then rejoined her group.
“Damn,” she muttered, a hand over her eyes serving as a poor shield against the scrutiny.
Curious eyes shot glances their way, which was just more of the same. The friends stuck close as they sought seats among the pews. Rain rolling down stained glass windows cast eerie shadows on the faces of those who passed.
Ahead, at the end of the carpeted aisle stood a massive gold canvas with Sade’s framed photo in the center. Even in print, Ariana saw something in Sade’s eyes, a kind of light that it should’ve killed poor Sergio to lose.
A kind of light strong enough to turn Jada against her, though temporarily. Ariana was sure they’d talk it out in time. Maybe. She kept her eyes forward as she settled beside Paris on navy blue cushions covering the old wooden benches. He still hadn’t said much, and had tugged his hood over his head, further closing himself off. Nothing but time was ever strong enough to get between him and his emotions.
There was also a small issue of some students’ insistence that he was a murderer. Some of the heads bowed in prayer were really shooting daggers. That was another thing Ariana couldn’t reckon with. Who said the evil couldn’t cross into holy ground?
She’d seen it in real time, moments when devoted, tithing cancer patients were denied financial assistance, or when the pastor stomped around the pulpit in designer shoes while his members’ shoes fell apart.
Countless rumors were still circulating campus. Ariana had heard them all – or read rather, since people were boldest online – but let them roll off of her shoulders. She and her friends were innocent, most people knew this, but most of those same people were ignorant and bored as hell. She had just read some bullshit the day before while scrolling timelines and stumbling into a random PCSU Discord server.
“I think Paris did that shit, man.”
“It was a set up. Jada and Cairo wanted their spots, so–”
People just liked to make shit up, honestly.
August surveyed the pulpit. Some quietly reflected, others lit candles to add to the glowing wax pillars already there and uttered prayers. “This is such a fire hazard. It look like Hogwarts in this bitch, don’t it?” he said, musing the endless rows of candles.
“Well, it feels just about as safe,” Megan agreed with a nod. “Which is to say not at all.”
The group looked around at the campus police posted at every door, a few even seated in the front row, big guns on their hips. Ariana took a deep breath. Of course, she knew the situation to be serious. Observing the solemn faces of the officers just drove it home. The police were worried someone else would eventually be dead, too. Somebody she’d traded genuine compliments with in passing.
“I like that dress, girl!” Sade had said last October as they rushed past each other on their way to class. To think, it had been the same black dress Ariana always wore. She was doing better. She owned three black dresses in more recent days.
Megan sighed and sat back, fingers wrapped around her amethyst. “I really wanna light a candle.”
August glanced at his girlfriend and shrugged. “So go?”
“I’m not sure if you noticed, but all eyes been on us since we got here,” Megan said. Strange times. Megan never gave a shit what anybody thought.
“But notice ain’t nobody sayin’ shit to our faces,” August said, pointing directly at a group of freshman guys that immediately averted curious stares as they were caught by the football team’s star player. “I’ve played football too long to take people’s bullshit to heart. I’ve heard some wild opinions, but if I let them stop me…”
Paris hardly noticed his friends’ concerned stares as he stood. He rejoined reality as Megan tugged his hand to give him pause, her bangles jingling as she got onto her feet.
“Wait, Paris. I’m goin’ with you,” she said, returning his soft, grateful smile. Megan’s five foot three frame housed a giant’s heart. She led her wary, pensive 6’2” friend down the aisle, silently daring anybody to say something. Never mind that the top of her head only reached his shoulder. Ariana resisted the urge to run to his rescue. Megan was meant to escort him. She was the strongest.
All eyes followed as the two patiently waited their turn. Ariana shot a dark glare at a girl she recognized from biology class who tried to record them, rolling her eyes as the spectator lowered the phone in shame. AG had been right.
Nobody was going to actually speak up. They simply whispered as Paris and Megan paid their respects and lit a candle for Sade. The eyes of a tightly-buttoned cop followed when the pair returned, swallowing almost imperceptibly as he laid eyes on Paris. Almost.
He wasn’t the only one staring. Josiah was doing a poor job of concealing the looks he threw at Paris and August both, thinly-veiled envy darkening blank eyes. Once he realized that Ariana had made him, he redirected his attention to Reese as they chatted. Megan had been right. Something was off about Mr. Price.
The whispers faded into silence when Jada tapped the microphone and waited for everyone to settle. She stood at the podium wearing jeans and a Gamma Theta Psi t-shirt in the sorority’s signature indigo and white; a nod to the indigo, cotton, and rice plants cultivated and harvested by the enslaved. The sorority had originated at PCSU and birthed chapters at numerous HBCUs.
Beside her was Inez and several Gammas and majorettes. Sade was everywhere, her image scattered among gifts left at the altar; flowers, plushies, and sympathy cards. A mounted wreath of white lilies bore a sash, her name embroidered in pretty, gilded letters.
On the podium’s other side sat the Sigmas, Reese and his signature long locs at the head. Next were their obedient, hopeful pledges, save an empty chair. Cairo, of course. But for good reason; he stood beside Jada in the long line of students leading the mourning.
“Sade would’ve been so happy that y’all showed up for her. She breathed a lot of life into this campus, the band, our sports… “
Ariana knew Jada was mortified to break in front of so much of the student body. Though still thrown off by Jada’s behavior, her heart broke a little for her friend. However, she’d repacked her overnight bag to take back to her own room later. As much as she loved her friends, she needed to recharge alone.
Jada swiped her index fingers under her eyes, sniffling. She handed off the microphone to Inez, whose big brown eyes were also watery. Jada nearly crumbled, but Cairo caught her, arms wide as he offered a supportive embrace. Jada accepted. A look that Ariana would never be able to articulate passed over his face as their shared grief met.
Ariana wondered if Jada genuinely knew.
“Hey, y’all. I’m Inez. Sade and I… we’ve been best friends since we were little girls. We always said we were gonna leave Fayetteville to go to PCSU together.”
TSU, Xavier, Howard University... There were countless respected institutions where Black people could pursue higher education. Ariana, too, had always known she’d attend Poinsette-Clark, and not just because her parents were alumni. The legacy tuition waiver was greatly appreciated, however.
“I’m on the drumline, and I’m a Gamma Theta member. We appreciate everyone bein’ here. Sade really was the heart and soul of the PCSU Band. There’ll always be a huge void, but I think we’re in good hands,” Inez continued, her voice cracking as she held Jada’s hand high in the air. “She stepped up when she had to, and Sade would be so proud of her.”
According to the program, they’d sing, pray, and reminisce, the proper rituals.
They were shuffling between segments when Ariana spotted Sergio. He’d arrived silently dressed in dark sweats, a newly-sunken face half-hidden by his hood, a scraggly beard visible in the overhead stage lights. He slipped into a shadowed folding chair near the stage’s left exit, head bowed. He didn’t want to be seen. He just wanted to be close to love again.
Ariana quickly focused on the stocky guy at the podium singing Fred Hammond instead. Luckily, Megan’s attention was on the phone in her lap as she scratched at the skull tattooed on her arm, one of the many inked into her skin. She rolled her eyes and quickly tapped out a frustrated reply in a text thread titled ‘Evelyn’. Evelyn was her mother.
“No. My mama and daddy are fightin’ again and making it my problem,” she sighed, taking a deep breath. “I never shoulda come here according to my daddy. He blamin’ my mama… it’s a whole mess,” Megan explained with a dismissive wave. “It’s cool.”
Ariana opened her mouth to speak as a shoulder tap came from the previously empty spot next to her. There sat a girl who was pretty in a way she didn’t seem to own, with wide hazel eyes, double-pierced, button nose, and a round, full face.
She was dressed in sweats like everyone else, a beanie covering her chin-length locs. She wore a Nazur around her neck, and a second on one of the the many rings adorning her fingers. She pushed up her wire-rimmed glasses, drops of rain on the lenses.
“Hey, sorry to bug you. But you’re Ariana Maddox, right?”
“Okay, listen,” Ariana began, turning her body toward the shorter girl. “Not to be an asshole, but I need to know why you’re askin’–”
“Oh, oh no,” the girl said, big eyes widening. “It’s not like that. I just wanted to see if the SNS Club meeting was still on for tomorrow? There wasn’t an update on Instagram like usual.”
Ah. That’s what she’d forgotten to do. It’d be a damn wonder if anyone showed up. She’d considered cancelling, but as she studied the stranger, she knew it was best to carry on.
“It slipped my mind. I’m sorry. There’s a lot goin’ on,” Ariana said quietly. “But yes, it’s still on. Five-thirty at Boseman Hall, room twenty-one. Tell everyone you know, please?”
“Sure. I’ll leave you alone now,” the girl said, scooting further down the bench.
“It’s okay,” Ariana whispered. “You don’t have to go. And I’m not tryin’ to be weird, but I feel like I should know your name since you know mine…”
“Nova Bassett. No relation to the goddess Angela, sadly,” she said with a sigh.
Ariana decided she liked her.
“I know this ain’t the right place, but I’ve never been to a meeting, and I wanted to at least meet you first,” she admitted with a slow, satisfied nod. “I’ll be there tomorrow.”
“Good,” Ariana said, smiling for the first time since the restroom incident. Asking for help was no easy feat, and Nova’s courage was inspiring. “We’d be happy to have you.”
Nova was gone by the service’s end, lost in the throngs of students headed for the exits.
“Who was that you was talkin’ to, Ari?” August asked, arm thrown across Megan’s shoulders as they slowly shuffled through the lobby, nobody in any hurry to face the rain again.
“I don’t know her. She asked about Safety Net’s meeting tomorrow, though. Her name is Nova,” Ariana said as she typed that much-needed update for the club’s social media accounts. The Safety Net was still there for those in need, including her. “In fact, Meg, her accent kinda sounded like yours.”
“For real? I’ll have to use that somehow in my next argument with Evelyn and Craig. I’m not the only one.”
“I’m sorry your parents ain’t shit, babe,” August said.
“Thank you, my love. Me too,” Megan said with a dry laugh, patting his cheek. “Me fuckin’ too.”
Parents were a touchy subject for him. He’d been seven years old when his mother and father were victims of a fatal car crash. August never harped on it for very long. He’d been raised by his grandmother, a loving elderly lady who doted on him and had visited campus numerous times.
The rain had lightened to a light drizzle, and the clouds were gone when the friends emerged into the night. August peered at the lake’s dark, glassy surface. It was much calmer, the silver sliver of a waning crescent moon reflecting in the stillness. “Hey, y’all think there are fish in there?”
“Probably. Fish usually live in places like that.”
“You could go right back to shuttin’ the fuck up, P. Of course you open your mouth to be a smartass,” August said, laughing against his will, laughing even harder when Paris finally did, too. “I haven’t gone fishin’ in a long time. Anybody wanna go to Joccassee next weekend? We have a bye week after Saturday.”
“I’ll go as long as y’all don’t involve too much hiking. I’ll ruin everybody’s good time, I promise,” Ariana warned as August quickly nodded in understanding. She knew she needed to get active. The trouble was, she didn’t really want to. There were sore muscles, sweat… she didn’t want to be involved.
The rain had completely stopped when they reached Jada’s place. She and Cairo arrived a few minutes later with a visitor in tow. Sergio. It wasn’t his first visit to Jada’s home, nor his first time hanging out with the group, but that didn’t make his arrival any less awkward. A heaviness sat on his slim shoulders as he crossed the threshold.
“Wassup y’all,” he said with a weak smile as Jada hung his jacket on the coat rack. The proverbial elephant was way too comfortable on the couch. Sade’s fiance and her last boyfriend in the same room made for a thick, suffocating tension. Especially considering that said last boyfriend had been the very last person she’d called. And had also been accused of harming her. Sergio seemed to know that that wasn’t true.
The two men acknowledged one another with a nod.
Megan slowly approached Sergio, her hands clasped, emotion brimming in her eyes. “Sergio, hey. Is it okay if I hug you?”
He spread his arms without hesitation and accepted the offer. Then Ariana joined, Cairo was next, then the hug turned into a group thing and all six held him up as he nearly broke, both weakened and strengthened by the refuge. Paris’ palm rested on Sergio’s shoulder; he gripped tight as the tears fell from the broken man’s eyes.
Sergio then placed a gentle hand onto Ariana’s forearm as they dispersed. “Thank you for keepin’ it quiet at the memorial.”
She nodded and squeezed his hand. “Of course. I figured drawing attention was the last thing you needed me to do.”
“I gently bullied him into coming. Food is a good bribe,” Jada explained, heading for the kitchen. “I’ll go get that plate, there’s plenty left.”
“Thanks, Jay,” Sergio said, taking a seat on the couch beside Cairo. The week since his fiance died hadn’t been kind. He was sort of scrawny, and his pretty hazel eyes had gone hollow. “I didn’t come to fuck up y’alls vibe, my bad.”
Little did he know, residual fucked-up vibes from #BathroomGate remained in the air. Ariana and Jada were subtly (but not subtly at all) avoiding one another, save a stolen glance or two. Ariana’s overnight bag waited for her at the door. Jada had pretended not to see it.
“You don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m proud of you for still standing,” Ariana said. She wasn’t sure she could ever muster that kind of strength. She glanced toward Paris, who’d gone quiet again and was back in the recliner. Even though they’d probably never rekindle the flame, and he got on her damn nerves like no other, the notion of truly losing him was horrifying.
“How you holdin’ up, bruh? I know that’s a dumb question, but still. Shit is fucked up, man. You got all my sympathy,” August said as he took his place on the floor beside Megan. She slipped her hand into his and leaned against him, her head on his shoulder.
“It’s rough. I can’t sit in that apartment another fuckin’ minute by myself. I might do some shit I can’t undo,” he said, his tone raw as he stared at the floor, shaking his head. “I keep waiting for her to come home, you know? To walk in carrying that big ass Stanley cup and all those keychains and bags like she used to.”
Ariana suspected that Paris knew the exact color of that big ass Stanley tumbler. After all, he and Sade had dated long enough to learn each other fairly well.
“And ‘Ro, I know I’m puttin’ a lot on you by not being around–”
Cairo waved him off. “Don’t even worry about that. I been on they ass. We got all week to get ready for Saturday, and I’ll hold everything down until you ready.”
“I don’t know if I’ma survive this one, bro,” Sergio said, his words chilling. “I’m tryna shake back, but I just don’t know.”
The microwave beeped, and a moment later, Jada returned with a steaming plate and a Mason jar full of sweet iced tea in her hands.
“Thank you. Oh, this about to be bussin’,” he said, surveying the food as she handed it over. “I appreciate it, y’all.
“Of course. I wrapped one up for you, too,” she said, perching herself on the recliner’s arm as she threw an arm around Paris’ shoulders and kissed his temple with a loud, obnoxious smack of her lips.
He made a face, but that was for show. He could never drift too far out to sea with them around to draw him back every time. Surrounded by anchors, that one.
Ariana’s eyes scanned her friends with pride. They always did the right thing when it really counted.
Cairo got his hands back on the remote, and they watched ATL in comfortable silence, reciting the most iconic lines. And that film was full of them.
As the credits rolled, Sergio spoke. “I know I ain’t really gotta tell y’all this because I know y’all are locked in, but I’ve been tellin’ everybody to cherish each other. For real. Because when somebody’s gone, a piece of you is going with them.”
The friends shared a collective, silent glance as Sergio stood and carried his plate into the kitchen. There was a gentle clatter as he gently placed them in the sink to wash, a soft whoosh of flowing water filling the air as the faucet opened.
“Have the police learned anything else?” Megan asked when he returned, frowning when he shook his head.
“Hell nah. I wasn’t counting on Mayberry Police Department to do much, anyway,” he said with a shrug, still on his feet. “They can’t even figure out how somebody got her up there. The cameras on that side of the stadium quit working a few days before it happened.”
Ariana had feared he would say that. Somebody had put a lot of effort into Sade’s killing. And that somebody roamed free.
“I hate that whoever is involved is still out in the streets,” August said, sighing. “Got everybody lookin’ over their shoulder.”
“Right? I don’t feel safe anymore,” Megan confessed. “I’ll never tell Evelyn and her husband that, but still.”
“Then we gotta go back to class tomorrow like nothin’ ever happened. What a fuckin’ world,” Cairo said, sighing. “I already can’t focus half the time.” Cairo had long ago been diagnosed with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder.
“I’ll help if you need it, Cairo,” Jada offered. “Just let me know.”
Cairo nodded and avoided looking directly at her. “I will. Thank you.”
“I hope that help is a community offer, because ADHD is ruinin’ my life, too,” Megan said, satisfied once Jada raised her thumb to confirm. “Bless.”
Sergio checked his watch. “It’s gettin’ late. I guess I’ll slide, go and try to get some sleep. Food put me on my ass.” He then raised a finger in a light bulb moment, digging into the pocket of his jacket as he retrieved it from the coat rack and approached Jada. “I wanted to give you this. I hate to see it sittin’ on the dresser every day, and she told me one time that you liked it.”
Jada held her breath as she waited, exhaling as Sergio placed a ring into her hands, its band silver, a shining black stone in its center. She studied it for a while, then glanced up at him. “Why wasn’t it buried with her?”
“Her engagement ring felt like enough. She took that with her,” he said with a sad smile. “I don’t have any use for it, so. I think she’d want you to have it.”
A tear dropped from Jada’s eye, which she didn’t bother hiding. “Thank you, Sergio.”
She stood and hugged him, and the others followed suit as he made his rounds. Ariana couldn’t help but notice that he and Paris hugged a beat longer than everyone else had. They didn’t look at one another when they finally separated.
“Hang in there, bro,” Paris said. He seemed to ponder how his next words would be perceived before ultimately going ahead after shooting a loaded look at Ariana. It pierced her chest. “She would want you to.”
“Yes. Let us know if you need anything, okay?” Ariana told him, warm under Paris’ stare. “I know you’re not up for it now, but maybe one day you can come to one of my club’s meetings.”
“That’s a good thing you doin’, Ariana. A lot of people never get the support they need,” he said, heading for the door with the to-go plate in hand. “Keep it up. I’ll catch y’all later.”
Silence fell after he’d gone, save the music coming from the television as another movie started. Ariana sighed. Her depleted energy wouldn’t allow for much more. The day had been heavy enough.
“I think I’m gonna go, too,” she said, willing herself to move. “I have a nine am class.”
“Damn, I do too. Then a ten forty-five, a two-thirty, then practice after that,” August said, brows knitted. “I’m tired just thinkin’ about it.”
Megan nodded. “And I have track practice after mine. Yeah, let’s go. You get extra mean when you don’t get enough sleep.”
“No, I don’t,” August said, confidence waning as he glanced around at his friends’ expressions. “Do I?”
“Remember that time you pulled that all-nighter for Spring midterms, went to classes, then tried to fight me at that frat party?” Cairo said, detailing the scene replaying in everyone’s minds. “Double whammy. Then you tried to whammy on my ass.”
Ariana vividly recalled how August had almost flipped the card table when he exploded. Cairo’s delivery wasn’t always the best, and nobody remembered what he had said to piss August off that night, but they hardly held his lack of couth against him. At least not enough to seriously harm him.
“Wait, when?” August said in legitimate confusion, frowning. He turned to Cairo. “I tried to put hands on you?”
“To be fair, you was gone off Everclear,” Paris said. “I ain’t saying that was the only reason, but it was a factor…”
“Over spades. You tried to choke the life outta me over spades, brother.”
“Dang. My bad, Cairo,” August said, shooting a look at a giggling Megan. “That hundred proof ain’t no joke. What did you say?”
“Whatever it was, don’t say it again,” Ariana told Cairo, who held his hands up in surrender. “You’ll be three for three of the people who considered whippin’ your ass tonight.”
Jada laughed at a still-flabbergasted August. “I don’t know why you listened when them Clemson boys dared you to drink that shit straight.”
“So I like a challenge now and then.”
“He’s full of bad ideas. Let’s go. Jay, I’ll check on you tomorrow morning,” Megan said, letting August pull her onto her feet. “I can’t sleep beside Ari’s snorin’ ass another night.”
“Excuse you!” Ariana said as she gathered her belongings. She stood upright and stared at her friends with a smile. “One more dig, and I’m burnin’ this bitch down, I promise.”
“You do snore. Like a bear, for real–”
Ari turned on her friend. “Paris, did I not just threaten the room? Don’t you ever get tired of gettin’ told to shut the fuck up?”
He chuckled and rocked the chair some. “Wasted energy. Cause which one of y’all gon’ make me?”
“Whatever,” Ariana said. “Love y’all, see y’all later,” she said, pulling her bag onto her shoulder as she slipped back into her shoes.
“Where the hell you think you goin’?” Paris asked as he peeled himself out of his seat and collected hugs, one by one.
“...About to walk to my dorm?”
“It literally only takes a few minutes.”
He appeared confused. “No, it won’t because you not doing it.”
Ariana blinked rapidly. “You know better than to try and tell me what to do. I let you slide once today, please don’t let it go to your head.”
“It feels like you’re hung up semantics right now—”
“Ask differently, or I’m telling your mama.”
“Okay, fine,” he relented, bringing his palms together to properly beg. “Ari, honey, would you please accompany me so that I can get you from one side of this campus to the other safely, please?”
It sounded better than a fifteen minute walk in the dark. She was quickly reminded that the world she’d previously existed in was no more. The campus was even further desecrated.
“As long as I can drive,” she said with her hand out, grinning as he rolled his eyes and dropped his keys into her palm. “I also like that you used the word ‘accompany’.”
“Whatever. Just don’t blow my speakers again. And while we’re at it, let’s do the speed limit.”
Jada watched her friends prepare to depart. She swallowed her pride and spoke up as Cairo went to find his shoes. “Cairo, do you mind staying?” she asked, twirling the new ring around her finger. “I don’t wanna be by myself. You don’t have class early, do you?”
“Oh nah, I don’t, just afternoon classes tomorrow. That’s… t-that’s cool, I’ll stay,” he stammered, standing upright as he slipped back out of his slides, running a hand over his low waves. “I might have to go run and grab a durag, though.”
“You left one here a long time ago, I’ll find it. I’m puttin’ a pillow wall up between us, by the way.”
Cairo raised an eyebrow, jaw dropped. “Now Jada, you know I wouldn’t try nothin’.”
“I know, or else I wouldn’t let you in my bed. I didn’t mean it like that, though. I’m a cuddler, so this is for your safety.”
Ariana almost laughed aloud as she and Megan looked at each other. She was a cuddler; both of them had woken up with Jada’s leg thrown across theirs more than once. Cairo wouldn’t have minded a bit. But he definitely wouldn’t try to initiate anything that Jada didn’t directly lead him into, nobody was worried about that.
“Bet money they make a baby tonight,” August said, laughing when Paris did on his way out the door.
“August. Go,” Megan said as she covered his mouth and pointed toward the door. He shrugged, grabbed Megan’s bags, then went on his way. Megan shook her head and waved at her girls, then followed her boyfriend.
“Wait, Ari,” Jada said as the others left. She approached with her tail between her legs, rubbing her own forearm. “I hope you don’t think you have to leave because of me…”
“I was thinking about heading back tonight, anyway,” Ariana said, fiddling with the door knob as she stood in the doorway. “I completely get it, but it still hurts. I’ll talk to you soon. Love you.”
“Love you, too,” Jada said, dejected as Ariana pecked Cairo’s cheek on her way out.
Paris was leaning against the wall near the top of the stairs waiting for Ariana, pushing himself up as she approached.
“So how long are y’all gonna be weird with each other?” he asked knowingly as they descended toward the ground floor. He took the lead, shoulders squared as he scanned the lawn and parking lot for anything out of place.
“Don’t know,” Ariana said, shrugging. “I’m gonna give her some grace and some space.”
“Word. That’s probably for the best.”
Once they’d settled into the car’s pristine interior, Paris laughed as Ariana adjusted her seat, the bench slowly inching forward as she held down the button. Ariana flipped him off, then carefully pulled out of the parking space.
He fiddled with the heat, then claimed aux privileges. It was his car, after all. It never didn’t smell like a mixture of vanilla, sandalwood, and New Car Smell-scented freshener. The comfort wrapped itself around her in a way that erased the sheer craziness of the night.
The music started and brought with it magic.
He took the lead during One Direction’s ‘Stockholm Syndrome’. She took the lead of Justin Bieber’s ‘Flatline’. There’d been a time when she didn’t dare sing a note aloud, much less in front of others. However, with Paris’ help and encouragement, she’d overcome the fear years ago. She was even thanking her imaginary audience when Paris spoke.
“I’m sorry. I got in my head earlier, there was a lot goin’ on. But are you good?”
“As good as I’ll ever be, I guess,” Ariana said, carefully steering the car over a speed hump, lightly bouncing in the cushy seat as she held tight to the Dayton steering wheel. Big K.R.I.T.’s ‘Moon & Stars’ filled the pause.
Ariana didn’t answer immediately, blinking back images of a very dead Sade standing just inches away. “I promise I did. Same uniform, blood everywhere. I know how it sounds, but I also know what I saw.”
He nodded and looked out the window. “Just like that. I don’t know what that says about either of us, but still.”
A familiar song faded in after Moon & Stars faded out, a song that had recently gone viral. And though they both tried to keep a straight face, they lost it as Gorilla Zoe’s voice bled through the speakers.
“Walking around, looking for a way,
But no one tells me which way to go–”
“Yes! He had the nerve to say ‘hold on’ like he was about to kill it,” Ariana said, cackling.
Paris’ voice raised an octave, and Ariana laughed at his scarily accurate impression. “A labyrinth, a maze, where yes men could easily be no. I ask them no questions, they give me no answers–”
The music cut out for a half second as a notification arrived. Then came a second, and a third, and Ariana was quickly reminded that her friend was Mr. Popular.
“Ho’s blowin’ up the line?”
“Have some class,” he said distractedly and glanced at the phone in his hands, which continued to ‘swoop’ as he replied to a text thread.
“She won’t give it a rest, man. She want me to come home,” Paris said, sighing. “I haven’t been to Birmingham in like five years. I don’t think it would even feel like home no more.”
“I’m sorry, Paris,” Ariana said, a probing gaze noting his clenched jaw and furrowed brow, his teeth chewing at his full lower lip as he reclined in the passenger seat, shoulders dropping. “Sorry that this is happening to you.”
“It’s okay. I mean, no, it’s not, but what can I do?” he asked flatly, defeated. “Shit has always been hard, why would it change now?”
“Okay. No sad talk right now. Let’s talk about something less depressing,” she offered, moving ahead as he nodded. “Your mama’s name is mommy in your phone?”
“I was like eleven when I saved that.”
“And now you’re twenty-three.”
“She’ll cry if I change it. Ask me how I know,” he said, smacking his forehead. “She noticed one time, and didn’t speak to me for two weeks. I only did it because I was tired of my friends laughing.”
“I never noticed! That’s so fuckin’ cute, I’m never letting it go,” Ariana cooed, laughing when he threw a mean side-eye her way.
“Anyway! Mind your business, damn, all in my phone,” he said, turning to place his back to the passenger door, shooting a narrow look over the top of his phone as she cracked up.
“Don’t worry. I don’t care what you and your new girlfriend are on.”
His brows knitted as looked at her again, his head tilted slightly left. “New girlfriend. Now, what’s her name?”
“... Shouldn’t you know?”
“I have an answer, I’m asking you for one.”
“Fine. Be bitchy,” Ariana said, cutting her eyes as he laughed.
“Exactly. If you must know, her name is Naomi, and I didn’t get her number. She got a man.”
“Since when has that stopped you?”
“Since always! Almost always. Well, at least since college. I didn’t care in high school, but that’s some grimy shit. Especially knowing she could slime me out, too.”
“I’m glad you realize that. Probably makes whoring around a lot easier, huh?”
“It’s really not how y’all think it is. You know how I get. Some girls be over that shit real quick.”
He didn’t need to elaborate. Some people didn’t know how to handle the dark, the quiet, the brooding he’d perfected. Luckily, Ariana had spent enough time navigating darkness that she knew her way around. The dark wasn’t there to cause her harm. At least not without going through Paris first.
“Besides, I ain’t really on nothin’ serious right now. I feel like I’m runnin’ outta time. We graduate next summer. That’s far away, but it ain’t that far.”
Ariana hated how much relief that first bit of news had brought. “Runnin’ outta time for what?”
“To do somethin’ with myself. Cairo is trying to get me back in the studio with him, but I keep blowin’ it off. I’m fuckin’ around like I have time to do that.”
The music he and Cairo created stayed in the top spots on SoundCloud. They’d built a small following by releasing collaborations over the last couple of years. They’d both been raised in the church, where their musical talents had been developed early.
It was a marvel to experience what Cairo could do with a guitar, what Paris could do with his voice and a piano. He always seemed so confident. “Are you scared?”
“I don’t know. Everything is gettin’ a lil too real for me, I guess,” he said.
“Not to go all Sesame Street, but you are capable of anything you put your mind to.”
“I’m glad you think so.” He leaned over and kissed her temple.
Ariana tried not to smile, and also tried not to enjoy the gesture too much. Unsuccessful.
“I hear you. ‘Preciate that,” Paris added.
He was soon back to hawking and checking mirrors, which made perfect sense, but sent chills through Ariana’s body all the same. He’d never been the paranoid type.
Staring through the window over his shoulder, he spoke without turning his head. “Do me a favor, please? Reach under the seat and feel around. But do it real slow, and don’t get scared.”
Though his tone was still patient, it was firmer. “I need you to cooperate with me at this time, please.”
Ariana sighed and spouted every bad word she knew while lowering a nervous hand under her seat to probe. The soft carpet gave way to something solid. Something really hard, something with absolutely no give. “I know this ain’t what I think it is!” she cried as her voice rose, panicking as she felt cool metal.
“Obviously the safety is on, Ariana.”
“I wish you’d stop sayin’ my name like that.”
“Like you say it!” she grunted, working up the courage to gingerly grip the weapon. She lifted it from the floor and held it parallel to her widened eyes.
Paris stuffed his phone into the cup holder, watching her in wonder. “Back to square one for all that fuckin’ fussing. And I still don’t know what we talkin’ bout…”
“Why do you have this?” she asked, sighing when Paris’ experienced hands pried it from her fumbling ones.
He checked to ensure it was loaded, and then sent her heart further into overdrive as he peeked into the barrel with one eye. Safety? Safety, her ass. There really was science behind women living longer than men. “Country boys make do.”
Paris glanced at her and couldn’t help himself, laughing as she stared, slack-jawed. “I’ve had a gun since I was nine.”
He didn’t answer right away, but instead gave her a minute. Then swept a hand across the entirety of himself. “Have you seen me? Also, I didn’t stand a chance with my redneck ass daddy. Then all the shit happening now.”
“Fair.” And though her body nearly rejected the words, she knew she had to say them anyway. “Maybe you should go home for a little while.”
He looked at Ariana as if she had three heads. “No. I’m not gon’ run. That makes it look like I got somethin’ to hide. And I’m definitely not leavin’ you here by yourself,” he added in a way that Ariana knew meant that he hadn’t even noticed he’d said the words aloud.
She didn’t speak again until she’d parked outside of her building. The wide, three-story mammoth of dark stone and wrought iron stood tall like it did any other night. While she couldn’t place the voice screaming into her ear to stay alert, she wouldn’t question the advice, either.
Her companion sensed the same as he peered through the windows for any sign of trouble. “I just… why does it feel like this ain’t over?”
“You let me know when you find out,” Ariana answered, unable to tear her eyes away from the tree tops rustling high up, the faded green and brown leaves hardly visible against the midnight black sky. Stars dotted the heavens, points of light filling the void above.
A cool breeze whipped through the night, crashing noisily into the foliage, into buildings, and gently rocking the Cutlass as it blew past. Lone streetlights swayed in the wind, casting warm, wet glows of red, green, and yellow as sparse traffic moved through the college town.
“Are you good? Like, what should I be doing to help?”
“Don’t be too concerned about me. You have your own shit to deal with. I’m fine, Paris.”
“That’s the same shit you said last time, Ari. Then you turned your phone off and cu–”
“I’m fine,” she repeated, cutting into his tirade with reassuring hands, cupping his face to calm the brewing crash out. “Nothing’s gonna happen.”
And before either of them could really enjoy being in such close contact, matching notifications dinged loudly. The group chat.
Jada smoked again and now she won’t go to sleep without a cheeseburger. Clock?
Why don’t you check a damn clock? Y’all do know what time it is…?
HELL yeah, I’m puttin on pants now.
Remind me to bring Meg back some fries, save me a headache.
Eat a dick, August. I want everybody to know I said it.
“I would go, but I’m tired. I’m just gonna go to bed. I know Dave misses me,” Ariana said as she reached over the back seat to grab her bags.
“Aw, man. For real?” Paris said.
“You can always go when you drop me off.”
“Forget it. I don’t wanna go if you ain’t there.” He then backtracked. “Dave, that ‘lil rat still alive?”
“Rat, ferret. Potatoes, potatoes.”
“That is so not how that works.”
“Aw!” Paris said as he glanced up at Ariana’s window. The homecoming flowers sat on the windowsill, holding on inside the dollar store vase she’d found for them. “You kept ‘em.”
“Of course I did, what kind of lowlife do you think I am?”
Ariana shouldn’t have been surprised that Paris got out of the car. He insisted on walking her right to the front door, the Glock nineteen tucked into his sweatpants as he ignored her protests.
“Okay. I’m here and you have to go back out there alone,” she said, nodding toward the pitch black lot, where only one of the four streetlights in each corner worked.
The other two had died completely, and the last one flashed and fought for its life, flickering and buzzing and casting squares of fleeting white light over the wet asphalt. The Cutlass was parked underneath the flickering post, the car’s headlights and taillights slicing through the sharp black night.
“I can take care of me,” he said, then his face changed as his gaze swept high over the darkened windows of the building. “I can’t lie, I’m lowkey scared to leave you alone.” And if he had been anyone else, she might think he was trying to worm his way upstairs. But Ariana knew that he didn’t have to stoop that low, and he knew he didn’t have to stoop that low. Those theatrics weren’t necessary. He was genuinely afraid. “Maybe we need to get you a gun.”
“It can be a ‘lil cute one, like one of those joints they used on In The Heat of the Night. You know that’s your favorite show and everything–”
Fear flashed in his pretty green eyes. “I’ma spend all night worrying about you.”
That, in turn, scared the shit out of Ariana. She hugged him, sighing under her breath when he hugged back, his massive arms wrapped tightly around her. She looked up at him, nudging his chin with her finger. “Stop worrying about me. Just go, and let me know when you’re in your dorm safely.”
“I mean it, Paris. If you pull that falling asleep before you do stunt–”
“I will, I said!” He smiled as she rolled her eyes. “No kiss goodbye?”
“When did we start kissing goodbye?”
“You didn’t say nothin’, so I just left it alone,” he said with a shrug, hardly registering the incredulity burning in Ariana’s eyes. At least until he truly looked into them. “Oh. That wasn’t the right way to move, huh…”
“I could get mad, but I didn’t say anything either. It’s fine. Shit happens,” she said, hoping it wasn’t so obvious that she was trying much harder to convince herself than her friend. Her friend.
She could never take Paris seriously in a romantic sense again. Besides, she had enough problems without adding dating into the mix.
But there he was. Looking the way he did. So she kissed him, something stirring in her stomach as the gentle pressure of reciprocation touched her lips.
Once, twice, and then a third time before she recalled the boundary she’d thrown up a long time ago. Not too much.
“Okay, alright,” she said finally, placing a hand between them, her palm to his mouth. His spacey gaze met hers. “Enough of that. Good night.”
A sly grin crossed his lips as he turned to walk away. “Oh, that was more than enough, and it will be a good night.”
“That is so….” Ariana started, the frenzied butterflies at it again at the pit of her stomach. She fished around for her student ID to unlock the doors, suddenly needing some distance. She had to get the hell away from him before things got dangerous.
It was time to feed Dave, microwave something, and call it a night. She needed a shower, but she’d had enough trouble with bathrooms for a night, and at that hour, the venture into the showers would be a solo one.
It’d be nice and crowded come morning, and while battling for a free stall wasn’t ideal, it would be easier than battling her brain and hurriedly scrubbing away in a huge, empty communal restroom. There were too many mirrors. Not to mention hella shower curtains. She’d be damned if PSYCHO would be remade that night.
Paris didn’t pull off until she waved from her room window. She didn’t leave that window until he was out of sight, red lights disappearing down the road.
As she peeked through the thin curtains, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something just out of sight was staring back. And it wasn’t just that yellow-eyed great horn that lived in the nearby trees.
