Max Salvatore

Just be glad it’s Damon and not Stefan you’ve gotten half your genetics from. It’s easier to not have to lie about it all the time. Yep, that’s her. She talks about him a lot. Well, him and a few other people. But it’s usually him. Ah…well. I probably shouldn’t be surprised, I mean, Beca and Caroline like to talk about Enzo. I’ve heard a lot of stories. The…Lily thing? What is that? It happens to him more than it should. His relationship with Vicki is a very strange thing to witness. But Josh in general is weird. …Right. Well as long as you’re okay. 

True. Oh, I think I remember her. She’s supposedly a pretty blonde that tolerates Chris’ stripper phases. Beca...I love Beca. She’s so nice and evil. That’s why I love her. Enzo loves Caroline. He really loves her. He says it’s like Stefan all over again. Oh right, the Lily thing. I love Lily but I don’t think she loves me...or maybe she does but she won’t let herself..or she doesn’t want too. I can’t remember. Ouch. Strange? I’m totally fine Gus Gus. Did you know you have the same name as that mouse in the Disney Cinderella?

I’m pretty sure Ireland and Alison started drinking and doing…whatever it is they’re doing to Fall Out Boy at like, eight this morning. It’s really weird.

It’s New Year’s Eve. Everybody is drunk tonight. And Fall Out Boy is amazing. But One Direction is definitely better.  

Hey, if that’s gonna make it easier for me to hide in my room, I’m gonna let them do it.

Cool.

Wow…that might be the most Damon thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth. Huh. Oh right, I think Kim told me about that. Wait, Enzo’s…what? Eh, well, at least you just fell into a hole and weren’t shoved off of a cliff like Josh is all the time. Are you okay though?

Awesome. Kimmy is Chris’ like best friend right? I don’t know Enzo gave me water saying it would help with the Lily thing. Ouch, that sounds painful. Yeah, I’m still looking good so it’s all fine. 

You disgusting little freak…I probably set myself up for that though. Do I even want to ask what happened?

At least I’m a handsome disgusting little freak. Chris and Peter blew up a hole in the ground a long time ago, which I did not know about. I was just really dizzy with Enzo’s ‘cure for a heartbreak water’ and I plopped in the hole. 

If that’s some new creepy form of innuendo and you didn’t literally fall into a hole, please don’t tell me. 

Then I’m not telling you nothing. 

And I—you’re not the only one with that feeling, Max. The only difference is I actually put a word to it. When you were gone, and I was talking to Melanie…she told me I was brave. Because I didn’t stop hoping you would come back. But it didn’t really feel brave, it felt…selfish, because as much as I needed to hope that for your sisters’ sake, it…I wanted it for me. I wanted you back for me.

..You know, my sister’s boyfriend left a few months ago. They’d been together longer than you and I have even known each other. And when I asked her if she wanted to talk about it, the first thing she did was ask if I was okay, because you were gone again.

...And?

Max.

...And this is why I was scared of telling you. 

Of course I missed you. Maybe I didn’t talk about it with anyone but my sister, but I hated the fact that every second of every day I thought you’d left again and that I didn’t know where you were. And yes, I realize how selfish that is of me, because I am not entitled to anything from you. I know that. Even if I wish I could say that I am, I can’t ever even entertain the idea of being that selfish. I don’t..understand what that even means, Max. Just tell me.

Lily I Iike you, like really, really like you. And I know that’s odd because I just keep coming and going but that has nothing to do with you. I always come back for you, and August, and Beca, but you get the point. And when I was gone. I had this weird feeling that I just liked you ten times more. I was even more scared of loosing you and I realized how much I wanted us and I came back. I have no clue what the strange feeling is but I just needed to tell you that. And that’s why I was scared because maybe you don’t have the strange feeling, too. 

You…don’t have to apologize to me for being gone, Max. I missed you, but I’m not, like…entitled to that stuff or something. I know that. I doubt that, but…okay. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.

No, I really do have to. You missed me? You could be if you wanted to. That’s the problem, Lils. I do want to tell you but what if you don’t like what I say or something?

I just didn’t know you were here. That’s good though, isn’t it? ..Why are you scared?

Yeah, sorry about that. I just got back here. It is..I think. It’s nothing, you’re going to think it’s stupid.

I didn’t kn—are you okay?

You didn’t what? Yeah, I’m okay. I’m actually great now, just scared.