boss makes a lemon i make a lime. we work at the citrus factory

car is a sentient beast that eats dollars and can tell when you have money in your bank account

Horses are also expensive horses that love to die aren't they

a knife? are you flirting with me

I think it’s normal for people to be mad at each other sometimes even if they’re close friends or family or intimate with each other. Like I think that’s a normal and healthy part of relationships that can happen sometimes

“Why were you on Mad At Me island” because at the time I was mad at you and yet our friendship has weathered that without trouble

I went to Mad At You island because my feelings are my problem. I needed to stomp down the beach until I could sit and watch the sunrise. I built a sandcastle and did some thinking. Then I boarded the good ship You Matter To Me and sailed it all the way to meet you on the Let’s Talk Shore of I Love You Island.

I hardly jeff the know ‘er

i think icarus by bastille has a fundamental role in my existence

[ID: a tweet by “fishy and chips” (@fatfuckingchud1) reading, “When you genuinely say Hi” end ID]

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

Can I come over and be really disappointing

you really do meet some of the loveliest people talking about blood and sex online

hello pervert with excellent music taste

it does feel good as fuck to walk around in underwear only.

[ID: a text message that reads “ok well dont ponder yourself into stagnation diva! u got this” end ID]