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I know padme’s friends were tired. oh so you’re marrying the hormonal teenage space monk who lives halfway across the galaxy that the you’ve seen a total of two months in the last ten years? are we sure this is love or do you just think he’s hot? bc you’re a queen turned senator and he’s emotionally stunted and in a cult. maybe we should at least wait until he cuts off that rat tail perchance?

I know padme’s friends were tired. oh so you’re marrying the hormonal teenage space monk who lives halfway across the galaxy that the you’ve seen a total of two months in the last ten years? are we sure this is love or do you just think he’s hot? bc you’re a queen turned senator and he’s emotionally stunted and in a cult. maybe we should at least wait until he cuts off that rat tail perchance?

I know padme’s friends were tired. oh so you’re marrying the hormonal teenage space monk who lives halfway across the galaxy that the you’ve seen a total of two months in the last ten years? are we sure this is love or do you just think he’s hot? bc you’re a queen turned senator and he’s emotionally stunted and in a cult. maybe we should at least wait until he cuts off that rat tail perchance?

love that jabba in the original trilogy is like BRING ME HAN SOLO!!! HUNT HAN SOLO ACROSS THE GALAXY!!!! I WILL HANG HIM ON MY WALL LIKE A CHEAP PAINTING!!!! meanwhile chewie who no doubt also cheated jabba out of whatever they cheated him out of has no heat on him whatsoever. even jabba's not ballsy enough to start shit with a wookiee. no solid evidence chewie could rip a hutt's arms off but jabba is not going to be the idiot to test that

always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal

I HC that Sidious put him in upper management specifically to make that hate flow. He looked at Jedi Anakin and thought to himself: what does this guy like? Jumping out of moving vehicles at 30,000 feet? Well, we won’t be doing *gestures at all of Anakin* that. Put this guy in an office.