₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎

My elf body is so pregnant with your Christmas wishes

while there is the widely known online tactic of "inventing a type of guy to get mad at", there's also the rarely mentioned but equally used "inventing a type of guy to defend" (known uses: the little white cancer patient whose make-a-wish is to use the n word once, the Least Privileged Man In The World who can somehow oppress the hypothetical Most Privileged Woman In The World, etc)

reading too many pjackk posts has meant that a lot of my negative thoughts have now mutated to appear in my mind like "I Steaight Up Dont THink Im Going To Make It Any More If U See Me I Need 3 Bourbon Shots &A Pain I Deserive"

deliriously ripping open the sexy fishnet tights of a beautiful woman named bag of mandarins