Tactile, Disjointed Reality

Need new job.exe

Done in CSP, 90 min-ish.

DeBoar vs Snyder: A lesbian couple had three children. These children were all born after their commitment ceremony. The parent who did not give birth to these children adopted the children of their committed partner, but the state they lived in only allowed adoption by single people or married couples. A woman wanted custody of the children she had raised since birth in a committed relationship with the woman she was still 'married' to, emotionally but not legally, because she did not have the legal option to marry.

Obergefell vs Kasich: Two gay men married, and one was terminally ill. They wanted the surviving spouse to be listed as such on his death certificate, but gay marriage wasn't allowed in Ohio, where they lived, at that time. The couple had three adoptive children, btw. A man wanted to be legally considered his husband's spouse when he died. He did die in 2014, by the way, a little over 6 months before the landmark Supreme Court decision.

Like... there are other cases wrapped into the eventual Supreme Court appeal, but a lot of it was just. Your rights to your own goddamn family. Entirely intuitive and natural, but we had to fight for it.

I still have a problem with this, being polyamorous. If something happens to my partner that I'm not married to.... I will have no rights with them, to even see them again, and that's horrifying. But the fact that my wife's parents can't fucking touch them after death unless I allow it, that I get to decide what their headstone says... that's so powerful, and that's not something that we knew would ever be possible when they first proposed to me.

We spent years living together knowing that if something awful happened, the 'next of kin' would not be each other, it would be some relative we barely spoke to. And it could happen again, now, with one shitty Supreme Court decision. I'm so scared all the time now, and no fucking wonder why. I genuinely forgot what a burden it was to live with this kind of tension, until it came back.

Reminder, if you ever pay someone for a commission on Paypal (NSFW OR NOT) you SHUT THE FUCK UP in any text box it gives you.

I'll rb with alt text/description this evening