I once was lost ...

Written with @ChosenDarkened

Mary: *I just arrived back home and parked my car near the fountain. Turning off the engine, I took a deep relieving breath and relaxed in my seat for a moment. The weight lifted from my shoulders knowing that #SafePlace would be in good hands for a while. 

I stepped out in the cool air of the night and made my way up the steps of the manse and entered the first chamber and looked up into the video monitor to be let into the inside. I was relieved to be home for a few weeks before returning to work.*

Layla: *I’d been back a couple of days, I think, when I was told I could finally have a visitor. I was hoping for my daughter but knew that would be far-fetched. I knew it could be no-one else that I’d been very close to as they were gone. This room is lit and I’ve had good care given to my external wounds but it still is a prison. It’s the same size as the one the Omega kept me in just light whereas his prison for me was always dark. My eyes still sting with how bright it is sometimes. Wish there was a dimmer switch in here, that’d be nice.

I’ve started knitting again, I’m better this time around than I was during my pregnancy. It keeps me busy and isn’t as mind-numbing as the tv can be. Although sometimes being numb in my mind has its place, like when I’m supposed to sleep but I can’t because of the nightmares. I haven’t told anyone about them, there seems to be something more important going on at the moment and I won’t take from that. I need to feed desperately, the headaches are swirling but I keep quiet. The last time I complained I was beaten and I won’t do that again. No, it wasn’t by my family but the Omega and his goons. I guess it’s still ingrained to keep silent. 

I miss companionship, I miss my young. I’m so sad yet so angry at all I’ve lost that I may never have again. I feel so guilty over my loved ones that were lost, even my son whom I never got to know. Because of me, he’s gone. As is Xcor. I need the thoughts to stop, maybe I should have just died. I grab my knitting and begin to knit another item with fervor, using it to avoid more thinking*.

Mary: *One of the doggens allowed me inside the manse, and I looked around and admire, once again, the beautiful foyer with the apple tree. Though it has been almost 100 years since I first arrived in this manse as a dying human … the beauty of what Darius created still floored me. 

Just as I was taking off my coat, I get a text on my phone. Looking down at my phone, I find a text from Nalla, that Layla had been found and is in the medical suite. Mary Mother of God, she’s been found. Over the years the family had to assume that she may have died after being taken. It was the lesser of two evils. With Lyric and her, both being found … makes me wonder how they had both survived for as long as they had. I quickly dropped all my stuff on the foyer table and knew the doggen would later bring it up to my room regardless if I ask them not to … normally I would do it myself, but I needed to get to the medical suite.

I go down the long corridor underneath the manse and enter the code to get through the supply closet and into the office and through the door into the hallway. I quietly walked past the rooms and leaned into the windows until I found the one I wanted and knocked quietly.*

Layla: *I hear a soft knock on my door and figuring it’s Manny I tell them to come in. When I see the female who enters I take a deep breath. “Mary.” I say softly. My emotions are twirling once again as I see the face of a friend I didn’t think I’d ever see again.

She asks if she can enter and I tell her yes. She looks as shocked as me, she must have thought me dead like everyone else. Instinct has me getting up and heading over to hug her but I pull back at the last minute. I’m not sure she wants a hug from me. This awkwardness is new but I suppose not unusual. 

 “Ummmm do you want to sit down?” I head back to the bed and sit, not sure what else to do with myself at that particular moment. I don’t know if Mary is here to renew our friendship or was asked to come and check on my mental health. Probably the latter if I’m being honest with myself. I start to fidget, my nerves are taking over. I look at her then down to my lap where my fingers are twiddling. I take a deep breath, look at her and say, “So, long time no see.”

Mary: *I went up to the bed and gently gave her a hug. She looked the same but not the same. She was so thin, clearly haven’t been able to feed properly or refresh back at the Sanctuary that many of the Chosen choose to do. Taking her hands into mine, I sit on the bed.*

It has been a very long time. I am blessed by the Scribe Virgin to still be alive to have this moment with you. How are you feeling? Do you need to call for food or something to drink?

*The last thing I would do is to ask her what happened to her over these years. She can talk about that when she was damn ready. Clearly, it was traumatic and she couldn’t escape until now, otherwise, she would have been home sooner. The last thing she needed was to talk about it now. I need to steer our conversation to other things, more pleasant.*

Actually, if you feel up to it and its medically approved, why don’t we go into the kitchen. I haven’t eaten since First Meal. I can make you something. You craving anything? *Thinking quickly about what she may have missed.* How about pancakes? Or waffles?

*The doggen are used to me tinkering around in the kitchen to feed Rhage, Bitty and myself. Hopefully, they won’t go berserk if I cook for Layla. I’ll send them to clean the car if I need to, to keep them busy without them hovering over us.*

Layla: *Waffles sound awfully good. It’s been a while since I’ve had more than protein shakes and the occasional peanut butter sandwich. I would love to see the house again too.

Manny gives us the go-ahead as long as Mary stays with me so we head through the hallway, the doors, and out into the main hall. The apple tree is just as magnificent and lovely as I remember. I smile at Mary, “it feels good here. Thanks for bringing me back in here.” We head for the kitchen where the doggen starts to fuss about but Mary says a couple of words to them and they bow and head out the door. 

“Can I help?” I don’t like feeling worthless and it’s in my nature to help but Mary points to the chair and tells me to sit for now. I ask her where Fritz is as I haven’t seen him hovering about and he is usually the first one to one of us. I also ask about her hellren and daughter.

I know some of the answers will not be happy but I need to start getting to know my family again somewhere. I’ve missed so much; all I want is to see them, hug them, and find Xcor and my son.

As we talk, Mary is cooking up a storm. I think she forgot it's me and not her hellren she’s cooking for! “Mary … there is no way I can eat all of that!” She laughs and says Rhage will finish the leftovers, which I know is the truth. It feels good to laugh a bit. 

After we eat Mary takes me on a walk around the premises, both inside and outside, so I can reacclimate myself a bit. I know I will be in the medical suite for a bit longer but it’s still nice to feel like I belong again. We continue to walk and talk about trivial things. I finally say, “are you going to ask me why I’m still alive?”

Mary: *I talked about Rhage and Bitty for a bit when Layla asked. I also made more food than both she and I could eat but I tended to cook for my hellren Rhage and I knew he would finish whatever I cooked. Plus the manse was filled with family so the food would get eaten. 

It was nice to talk about my family and we laughed a bit. We finished our meal and we started walking around the manse, not much has changed over the years. We tended to keep whatever Darius created unless something became broken and needed to be replaced. We always tended to replace it with an exact replica where we could.

While we intermittently talked about ordinary things, she finally seemed to want to talk about what happened to her.*

Are you ready to talk about it? I know that it couldn’t have been easy for you. What happened after the SUV crashed?

Layla:  *I sigh heavily realizing I have to draw on memories I’ve sworn not to relive ever. I sit down on a bench in the hallway and start wringing my hands. I’m praying that I can hold the tears back as I retell what I can remember of that night.

Lessers, more than I thought were still around came out of nowhere. We crashed trying to get around them. No one wanted to fight them while young were in the SUV. After the crash, the lessers tore into the doors and the males had no choice but to fight to protect Lyric and I. I felt so helpless. Qhuinn told me to run and keep running til I could demat out of there. I tried but the lessers were everywhere and when I hid behind a tree to take a breath, they caught up to me. I screamed, Lyric cried for Qhuinn. She was clinging to me as I tried to get away but there were too many. I saw Qhuinn coming our direction, I know he heard Lyric crying for him but he didn’t get to us. They took him down. I never saw Phury or what happened to him. Qhuinn though… <I hiccup as the tears pour down my face.> When they started stabbing him, the look on his face, Lyric crying. I crumbled and I’m so ashamed. My heart broke into a million pieces as I waited for the Fade to come my way.

<I wipe the tears away.> The lessers tore Lyric from me and gave me an ultimatum. Follow them and stay with my daughter or die with the warriors. I went, I didn’t want to die and I didn’t want to live without my child. I felt like that part in Sophie’s Choice where she had to choose a child. If I died then my young lost both parents. If I stayed with Lyric, then I had hope that one day I’d be reunited with my son.

However, the Omega was waiting and talking about a plan to create a new strain of lessors more powerful than before. He promised I could see and tend to Lyric and I believed him. My room, in the Omega’s lair, was small and dark. Light was never allowed. The only voices I ever heard were from lessors who came to chuck food under the door. Protein bars are what they fed me, usually once a week. Occasionally, a bit of human blood just so I didn’t die on them or some of the Omega’s blood if they were mad at me. They took blood too on occasion, but I was never told what it was all for and I didn’t ask. The one time I did, I was punished severely by the Omega and his forelesser. <Shivers run down my spine recalling their brand of punishment.> Anytime I spoke up too much, I was punished. Nails, hammers, whips, anything they had around that they thought would be fun.

I WAS A FOOL Mary!!! <I yell the pain out/> I should NEVER have believed him but I was blinded by fear and anguish and who knows what else. He took my daughter from me, hell … he took both my young from me. I was a traitor, a coward. <I hung my head low hating myself and my weakness.> I deserve to be tossed out into the sun but I NEED to see Lyric. I need to see her face and know she’s alright. <Sighs> I know Wrath and the Brothers need answers and I’m ready to help however I can. It’s time ….

Mary: *My heart went out to Layla and pain echoed hers as I thought of Qhuinn and Phury. Everyone in the household died that day, especially Blay and Cormia, along with Zsadist, his twin. It took years before the household felt remotely normal again. Then too soon after with Queen Beth, Fritz, Craeg, Tohr then Butch. And now? With the loss of Rehv, Blay, Novo and Baldassare … it felt hollow and empty. So many losses in this one century compared to all the others. We have added to our ranks but it will never fill the void that all the others left behind.

I hugged Layla as she cried and decided she needed to tell Wrath everything that happened all those years ago and since then. Hopefully, any details that The Brotherhood could use to find the Omega’s location and she needed to know what happened with the family too. These will not be the last tears either of us shed today.*

I think it may be time to go see Wrath, he needs to know everything and we all need to talk about it all. I also didn’t want to make Layla live through it over and over again. She’s been through enough. *It made me wonder if Lyric needed to attend as well. Though I’m not sure what we should put them in a room together yet. Perhaps I can get it recorded for her to see later. I needed to ask V. I quickly sent out some texts and confronted Layla until she calmed enough to go to Wrath’s office and repeat her story. This needed to be handled delicately.*

Layla: *The tears slow down as Mary comforts me. I needed that comfort in that moment. She’s right, it’s time to talk to Wrath. I don’t want to repeat myself more than necessary. The memories hurt too damn much. 

Written with @GraceOfAPhoenix.

Bennu: There were days when my job was just one of the most satisfying things I could ever do. Today had started out as one of those days. When I first arrived, I found out that one of our long-time residents, Natalie, had gotten the job we had set her up for and she and her daughter were going to be able to move into their own place.

She had come so amazingly far from when she first arrived. She and her 7-year-old daughter had been beaten severely. Actually, she almost didn’t make it. She had been left for dead. It was a miracle that Havers had been able to bring her back. When Havers had been called by their neighbor, Natalie wasn’t even breathing. Half a dozen surgeries later, between the two of them, and they wound up here, on our doorstep.

It’s been a little over ten months since then and they have both been put through the wringer. There is no reason in this world why a 7-year-old child should have to endure the things she has, let alone what Natalie has been through. Natalie’s cousin came into town from Wyoming to retaliate against the husband, and from what I hear, the husband never had a chance. Unfortunately, the cousin couldn’t stay, which made it harder on Natalie and her young, and why they ended up here. But this evening, she was offered a brand new job and handed the keys to their very own apartment. They had been given a whole new lease on life, and after all the time I had spent with the two of them, I knew they were going to make the most of it.

Strolling into Mary’s office, I couldn’t have been happier for Natalie and her young. However, the reason I was in Mary’s office was that we had a new resident. She had been at the house for a little over a month and already had some intense counseling. Now, it was time for her to start the physical rehabilitation that I could offer. It would be slow to start. Once a week, and depending on how she reacted, it would be as short as 10 minutes to as long as one hour. There was a lot to what I did and each person reacts differently. Most here, at the home, have been severely abused and can’t handle touch in the beginning, so we start off gradually. Sometimes, we don’t even start with a massage and just spend time talking, whatever is going to be best for the client.

I took a seat across from Mary, ready to hear about this new resident. I had seen her around but didn’t know much about her backstory.

Mary: [With everything that has been going on at the manse, I had barely any time to spend at Safe Place. But over the decades we have expanded and we're able to hire more managers to keep up with the day to day activities while Marissa, Bella and I dealt with more family and just the payroll and any big decisions with the Safe Place as of late. I wanted to take my mind off Bitty and Lyric so I decided to head back to work and get some updates on the residents and the employees.

Rhym, our full-time general manager, spent the last few hours updating me on various projects, residents and other daily activities that have been going on in the past few months. I was very proud and relieved at how well everything was running while the shellans and I took a step back for a bit. She was just telling me about Natalie and her accomplishments that I wanted to meet with Bennu to get to know her thoughts on Natalie and her transition being on her own. Getting the information from the intake coordinator. Bennu arrived in good spirits as she sat across from me.]

Hey Bennu, how it going? Rhym just told me about Natalie. Tell me more [I asked.]

Bennu: Sitting across from Mary, I always had a strong sense of calm. She was one of those people that could put you at ease without uttering a word. I think it was partially due to her training, but also greatly due to her character. She just had a reassuring sense about her. It was a quality that couldn’t be learned in a classroom. It was something ingrained and Mary had it in spades. I believe it’s one of the reasons this place did so well.

“Natalie has done amazing! I helped her into her place this evening. I know it’s not really part of my job, but I’ve worked so closely with her and her daughter in the past few months that I really wanted to be there, for them, for this. It’s just a small, one-bedroom and Natalie will sleep on the pull-out sofa. But, the sparkle in that little girl’s eyes when she saw all the toys that had been collected just for her... “ Tears welled in my eyes as I remembered. “She was beside herself.”

I continued, “For now, we got her a dishwashing job at Sal’s. That way, even though her hellren is gone, she can feel safe in knowing that she is well protected. Her daughter will still come here in the evenings, while Natalie is working, and become a member of our daycare program, so again, peace of mind for the two of them.

“I know it will take a little time, but they are going to be alright, out there, in the world. Natalie even has plans of taking some night classes in law.”

These were the best conversations, the ones that spoke about females that had been through the program and were moving on.

I shifted in my seat a little and sat straighter, “So… tell me of our newest resident. I hear she is ready to start work with me.”

Mary: [I listen with a smile as she animatedly tells me about Natalie and her progress. She was quite proud and she should be. She did a great job and I was impressed with the progress of our resident. I felt more comfortable knowing her experience with Natalie that she would do well with our latest new resident.]

Honestly, I’m not sure /she/ feels ready but I feel that without going forward and start getting her life together that all of her confidence she built to get out of her situation for herself and her young sons will disappear. Her name is Deanne came to us from #Havers after he set the younger son’s arm from a fracture but he noticed from the x-ray that there had been several healed breaks. One of the nurses took notice of how many times she came in for herself or for her sons and finally convinced her to come to us. So, the Brothers that are not on rotation or on duty at the Audience house are on alert, just in case, her hellren shows up. We also have them staying in the Wellessandra wing underground.]

Bennu: I listened intently to all the details about Deanne and her family. The ones that are reluctant to come to us are usually the ones that it takes the longest to get through to. It sounds as if she will be no exception to this rule. Young are more resilient, though. So, maybe it will be easier to get through to the boys. Time will tell.

“Well, sounds like I should start them off as a group. I’ll have to go slowly with her. It sounds as if both trust and touch will be difficult for her for a while, and that’s okay. If I have to start off with just talk, I can do that.” I picked up the file on Mary’s desk and quickly flipped through it. “Her story sounds a little like Tanya’s. However, we didn’t have to worry about Tanya’s hellren coming around for long.” We all knew how Tanya’s hellren’s story went. After Tanya’s sire got finished with him. His family was so ashamed of him, they shipped him back to the old country. “With the concern of Deanne’s hellren coming around, it is going to make it that much more difficult for them to feel in control. Hopefully, I can help them out with that.”

It wasn’t really my place, to suggest things outside of my purview, but I had picked up quite a bit of training while working at Safe Place and I felt comfortable speaking up with Mary. “I know it’s not my place, but I wonder if we shouldn’t start Deanne off sooner, rather than later, with some self defense training? It will go a long way with her self-worth and might give her that sense of control she is probably desperately seeking. Not to mention the effect it will have on her boys to see their mahmen start feeling like she can take charge of her life a little more.” Dipping my head in reverence, something long since ingrained in me from my years as a Chosen, I added, “Of course, you would know way better than me about that type of stuff.”

Mary: [Listening to Bennu’s plan, I learned more and more how detail oriented she was and it was a sound plan for Deanne. Her thoughts on the timeline were succinct and thoughtful observation.]

Yes, I think it is a great idea. Let’s start her off sooner rather than later, have her take control of something in her life and build her confidence. She needs to feel that she’s strong and that will help her boys know that everything will be ok.

You’re doing a great job and I appreciate your dedication for your work. When do you think you can start with Deanne?

Bennu: I was always filled with such pride when Mary thought that one of my suggestions on something outside of my own scope of work was worth putting into play. I had been doing massage for so many years that I felt more than comfortable with my knowledge on the subject. I also kept up with my continuing education, constantly learning more and more about my field of choice. But, when it came to the inner workings of other parts of Safe Place, I sometimes felt like it wasn’t my place to speak up. So, when I did and it was taken seriously, it made me feel all the more that I was in the right place.

I bowed my head once more, in respect of the compliment. “Thank you. It is an honor to be able to do what I do.”

Pulling up my iPad and turning it on, I scrolled through my schedule. “Why don’t we schedule something for the beginning of next week, maybe Monday or Tuesday? I have a 9 pm spot on Monday or a 10 pm spot on Tuesday. Let’s make sure to schedule them all together. I’ll bring in the chair and if they feel up to it, we’ll start with that. Otherwise, I will just explain the process to them and we can go from there.”

Mary: Sounds great, let's do Tuesday to give her a few days to get used to everything around here and meet the other residents and then start with your plans. [She had a good head on her shoulders so I knew that Deanne was in good hands. I could go back and concentrate on things at home now that #SafePlace was running like a well oiled machine with #Rhym and Bennu while the rest of us could focus on home right now. Rhage needed me, after all that has happened with the rescue and now Bitty. We needed each other more than anything. It was so hard to focus and be here that I knew I needed to leave it to Rhym and Bennu to handle #SafePlace.]

You have my cell phone. Let me know if you need anything from me.

Bennu: I nodded as I wrote Deanne and her sons in for the 10 pm spot on Tuesday. I was looking forward to getting to know her and the boys and setting up a plan tailor made for them. Each client at Safe Place was different, with different needs. I could already tell that Deanne was going to need a lot of patience, which I was happy to give. A lot of clients here needed patience. I was curious about the boys. I wondered where they were at in the process and how much they had been affected by everything that had happened. Apparently, broken bones for the youngest had been commonplace. Oftentimes the stories behind the why of how these female and young came to be here infuriated me. This story was no exception.

Written by @BeastingRhage

Rhage had been broken-hearted. Lyric and Rhampage had always held a special piece of his heart. Though Nalla and LW were the first children in this household, something about the twins had called to him. Their giggles when he made faces at them had warmed his heart. Mary hadn't been able to have kids. And though they both had talked about it -- til they were blue in the face -- it hadn't been easy watching their family produce these perfect miniatures. Nalla was drop-dead gorgeous, those yellow eyes and thick, long hair. The perfect blend of her parents. LW was a lot like his father -- the Wrath that had existed before Beth. But Lyric and Rhampage, they… did something to Rhage. Every child born in the manse had wound up with a dragon stuffy. Since Mary had tamed the beast, he didn't want the kids to be scared of it. And she had all the confidence in the world that if something happened and the beast made an appearance around the children, Scribe forbid, that the beast would love them as much as Rhage had. So he wanted them to have good associations with his curse. He could remember Nalla tracing the dragon on his back several times as a child, the effect of her touch both startling and welcome. The children of the family had grown up with no fear of him, as he had predicted they might and as teens, they often tried to make the dragon make an appearance. Well, LW had. He was definitely much more mischievous than his father had ever been. That all came to a halt when Beth died and LW was forced to grow up. A little, anyway. 

Mary's meeting with Lyric had not gone well. The vampire that met with his shellan was not the little girl who had him twisted around his finger. To say she had Stockholm syndrome would be putting it mildly. She thought  the Omega was worthy and her own family, her flesh and blood were nothing. She didn't even know her own name any more. But he could still see Qhuinn in the stubborn set of her chin and the snappy remarks she made. He just wished she hadn't made them toward his shellan. Mary had loved every child in the manse as if they were her own. And while she was the most prepared to deal with something like Stockholm syndrome, nothing could have prepared her, or Rhage for that matter, for Lyric. Or Leda as she preferred to be called. The little dragon stuffy that Rhage had given her as a baby lay in pieces on the desk and he'd stared at it for a long time. Eventually, Mary was needed somewhere else, but he couldn't remove his gaze from the little toy he'd given the girl who stole his heart. 

Bitty: After laying Baldassare to rest. I felt no need to do much of anything. I kept myself away from everyone, I didn’t want to see the sadness in their eyes. My own sadness was enough, I couldn’t carry everyone’s as well, I just couldn’t. Hugs had become even hard for me. To hug someone back, not that I didn’t love my family, I did. I just couldn’t show it anymore. I kept everything locked up, it was the easiest way for me. I didn’t want to feel anyways, why feel? There was no reason in my mind at the moment to want to feel. The worst part of all. I carried our young. I couldn’t even feel happy about it. I didn’t know how to right now. I don’t know if I will ever be able to ever feel again, and be my old self once again.

I laid on our bed, staring into nothing. Baldassare’s shirt crushed to my chest. I could hear the sounds of the mansion. Life had went on, but not for me. No, life stopped the moment my love was ripped from me. Every night, I listen to the sounds of the meals going on, the voices of my uncles, dad, mom, my family. But I stayed away, no matter how much down deep I wanted to be with them right now. So, each night and day, I lay here, set the uneaten food outside my door or just leave it there. Not like I could hold it down anyways. I was to sick from the young. Which that was normal, from what I’ve heard. However, the hunger that is part of who I am, clawed at my insides. I wouldn’t feed from another male. None could make me feed from anyone. I didn’t care what they said to me. What could they do?

Not hearing any sounds of the mansion, it was safe to be out. It was a big place, most likely I wouldn’t run into anyone. Not wanting to hear the question, ‘How are you doing, Bitty?’ I never could answer that question. Just looking at them and kept on walking. Pushing off of our bed, placing his shirt on his side of the bed. My hand stroked the fabric, placing my fingers on my lips placing a gentle kiss on them and then placing my fingers on his shirt. I slipped off the bed and out the door.

Walking down the hallway, my arms wrapped around my middle. The only sounds were that of my bare feet padding against the floor. I just walked, I didn’t know where I was going. Taking turns, just wherever my feet lead me. I didn’t want to think right now. I came upon a room, after walking down the stairs. I stopped at one of the many sitting rooms. Who knew there could be so many rooms in one place. My soft eyes scanned the room, as I leaned on the frame to the room. A scene played out in mind, as I laid my head on frame.

Baldassare holding me in his arms, as we danced slowly to the soft music that filled the room. I started to hum the tune. He held me so close to me. His large frame towered over me. He held me like I would break. But still just tight enough. Both of our eyes closed as we held onto each other. It was the night that he had a close call with a lessor. And we needed this time together, to make sure that the other was alright. I could still feel the tears wet my cheeks. Feel his strong arms around me, I could hear the music, smell him. It was like a two ghosts before me. Of a time that I would always hold close to my heart.

Closing my eyes, I let the scene play out in my mind. It was one place I could find peace, at least for now anyways.

Mary: [I was growing more scared by the day when #Fritz would inform me that Bitty hasn’t been eating. She was pregnant and eating for two so I knew the first trimester could be difficult … also she wasn’t /feeding/ either. Which was going to be even a hard issue to deal with. She didn’t even know that I knew. I was hoping she would come to me to tell me her news.

Rhage and I were beside ourselves wondering what the best idea to approach her would be … we both understood loss. We have lost so many over the century and we all have felt overwhelmed. But a loss of a mate is something that neither of us have experienced and to be left alone with a child would be heartbreaking.

We needed to take drastic measures as it was dangerous for our unborn grandchild if their mother wasn’t taking care of herself. Even with all the years of being a guidance counselor or being the Brotherhood’s psychiatrist after obtaining my doctorate degree could not prepare me for someone who was so close to my own heart. I couldn’t be objective … and I needed to be. Coddling her as I would because she was my daughter was not going to help the situation when all I wanted to do was hug her and keep her safe. This world that we live in … is not safe.

I took the path to her bedchamber and walked down the hall of statues … remembering all the times over the century as I slowly made my way to try to save my daughter as well as my unborn grandchild.

Bitty: I wanted the scene to play on and on. To be locked in that moment forever. I wouldn’t have to deal with the real world. The real world was far to much for me right now. Slowly my eyes opened to the empty room before me. Sighing I pushed off the door frame. To many memories laid around the mansion. Over the many years, so many memories have been made here. All did was scream at me.

My arms still wrapped around my middle. I walked back up the stairs and made my way back down the hall to my bed chambers. Not that I would sleep, but I wouldn’t run into my family, if I hid out there. It had become my prison but also my safe harbor.

Standing before my door, there on the floor was a tray with food. I looked at it. I felt bad because one of the doggen had brought it here, taken the time to cook something for me. But I couldn’t bring myself to eat it. I didn’t get hungry anymore. Even the anger and rage I felt, didn’t fuel me to eat or feed. I wish that the young that I carried pushed me to eat. It made me feel even worse that I couldn’t do it. I just him so damn much.

Sighing softly to myself, I picked up the tray before me. The least that I could was take it back down to the kitchen. Even if it was a waste. Standing up, the tray held between my hands. I turned back down the hall. That is when I spotted my mother, the woman who long ago, took me into her life and chose to love me and raise me just as if I was her own young. I hadn’t seen her much. There was so much going on. I don’t remember if she was even there when we laid Balareass to rest.

Setting the tray down on the table not far from my bed chambers. My hollow eyes met her eyes. There was no emotion to my voice, dull and flat. “Mom …” To be honest I didn’t know what to say say to her. I stood and waited to see what she was going to do.

Mary: [As I approached her bedroom, she was just walking towards me with the latest tray of food in her hands. Putting the tray down, she called to me and my heart just broke for her. This was going to be a long road for her. Losing her mate. But I was hoping that once her child was born that it would give her something to focus on. I know it did for me when we found Bitty. She changed our lives forever … our little family of three soon to be four. I hope that I could help her through this. I knew I would be here but much of the healing can only be done through time.]

Bitty: I meet her eyes, I hated to see the sadness there. There was nothing that could change what happened. In moments like these I wished I could find a way to escape it all. So, I didn’t have to see the looks in their eyes. She didn’t say anything. I had no idea as to why she would be coming to see me. I hadn’t seen her lot lately. However, I did keep to myself to avoid looks like I was getting now from my mom.

I stood for a few moments, waiting for her to say something, anything. She looked as she might break down right where she stood. Somewhere deep inside, underneath all the anger, the pain. I felt bad for her. I wanted to hug her. However, I couldn’t bring myself to actually do it. Sure Wrath held me when I broke down in the hall. Lu, held me in the chair, while I laid awake in his arms. I just couldn’t reach out to her.

Finding my voice once again. “Mom, why are you here?” I know I sounded cold and it may have seemed like I didn’t care. But that wasn’t the case. I just couldn’t bring myself to show more than I was showing at this moment.

Mary: [Her voice was low but strong. Cold even but I didn’t let it bother me.] I wanted to see if you wanted to get some food? I was thinking of baking some cakes for your dad. Want to join me?

[I asked hoping she’d agree and perhaps open up as she use to as a child. She had been so eager than to spend time with me. Now a days she been avoiding everyone.]

Bitty: Either someone had told her, I wasn’t eating or it was starting to show, that I wasn’t. I just wanted to crawl into my bed but I knew how my mom was. She would bring in dad. Sighing I looked to the tray of uneaten food. I had take it back to the kitchen anyways. This just meant that I was going have to wait longer. I wasn’t very happy, and I didn’t see any other way of getting out of this.

Walking over and picking up the tray once more. “I’m not really hungry.” Turning I faced her. “But I’ll help with the cakes for dad.” There was no joy for me anymore in cooking for dad. I use to love to cook for him. I always loved to see the smile on his face. Now I was doing it just so I wouldn’t be bothered. On some level that bothered me. Walking past her, I made my way to the kitchen. I just hoped that she didn’t try to get me to eat. I wasn’t really wanting to deal with that right now.

Mary: [We walked down the hall and down the staircase, across the foyer into the Manse’s kitchen. I watched her take her uneaten food to the trash and dishes to the sink while I gathered all the ingredients to make Rhage a red velvet, snickerdoodle and an Oreo cake. His faves and mine.] Do you want to make your favorite too? [I asked nonchalantly as I pulled the flour and sugars from the cupboard. I hoped she would say yes as it would a good opportunity to eat /something/. I wouldn’t push.

I gathered the various bake tins and went to go preheat the ovens. I continued to go into the fridge to pull a carton of eggs, milk, butter, cream cheese and placed them on the counter next to her. I finally gathered all the mixing spoons and turned on the Kitchen Aid Stand mixer and quietly began.

I knew she probably didn’t want to talk and I respected that. I could only be here for her … however she needed. If she wanted to talk she knew she could. We were alone in the kitchen. The doggens allowed only the two us to cook because they knew we enjoyed it … even though it took a year or two before #Fritz finally gave up and let me have the kitchen every now and again. As long as we didn’t clean up after ourselves.]

Bitty: I set to task of putting the ingredients into bowels, wet in some dry in the other. Having them ready for mom, and pushing them closer so she could pour them when she needed to. It still amazed me to this day, how much my dad could eat. The first time I met my dad, him and mom had taken me out to dinner. He had so many plates around him. I didn’t know what I was going to get, and he helped me. Suggesting chicken strips with mac and cheese. Even with ordering that, I still ate some of his food. Trying it for the first time. I do miss the times we had together with everything that has gone on in the years, we couldn’t go out like we used to.

Her question brought me from my thoughts on the past. “No, but thank you.” I hadn’t actually done  this with mom for quite some time. We use to bake for dad and Baldassare. They both loved when we would bake something. The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Remember when dad and Baldassare had that eating contest with the cakes we made? They were both hell bent on beating each other. They both made themselves sick from it.” So much sadness laced my voice. But I didn’t bring attention to it.

I went back to work of buttering the tins for the cakes. “Mom, why did you want to do this together? We haven’t done this in awhile.” I didn’t look at her, and if I knew my mom like I did. She would be trying to find a way to get me to eat or talk without actually saying it out loud. That was how mom was. Made you feel like you could tell her anything, and then you would open up like a flood. The reason I know? It happened to me, a little while after we met at #SafePlace.

Mary: Yea, I never made so many cakes before to be able for them to have a contest. What a waste. [I quietly chuckled at the fact they both ended up throwing it all up. I could hear the sadness in her voice.]

You’re right, we haven’t done this in a long time. Your dad and I haven’t been spending that much time together or with you since the whole finding out about Lyric and the rescue. It’s been months since we had any time together. I thought it would be nice to have some cake, that’s all.

[I poured some chocolate chips in to the red velvet mix and some whole Oreos into the other as Bitty mixed my ingredients for me. I didn’t say anything else as I answered her question. Knowing she didn’t want to really talk, we continued as is while we finished up mixing and pouring the batters into the various tins she prepared.

I commanded Alexa to play from our family’s iTunes account and the music filled the silence quietly in the background as we put the tins in the ovens and started on the icings.]

Bitty: I nodded, I had missed spending time with them both. Me and dad, hadn’t had our movie nights in such a long time if felt like. Me and mom, we didn’t bake or just sit around and talk like we used to. My whole body tensed at when she mentioned the mission. My hands stilled with a spoon mid way through a turn. I knew that mom would be helping all she could with Lyric. Shaking my head, my hand shook a bit.

I loved Lyric, she was after all Q’s child. But, I couldn’t help but have a little hate towards her. The reason that Baldassare was gone, was because they went and rescued her. Shaking my head a little more. No, I couldn’t think like that. She was family, and we fight for family no matter what. I pushed the anger I had to Lyric, it wasn’t her fault. She didn’t make all this happen. No telling what abuse she suffered. No, I wouldn’t be mad at Lyric, it was the Lessors and their damn leader that would feel my wrath one day.

Pushing my dark thoughts aside, as the music of our family playlist hit my ears. I sighed softly, and my shoulders sagged some. Thoughts of the things I should tell my own mom. I knew I needed to talk to someone. I wasn’t sleeping, eating or feeding. Getting up and grabbing a glass of at least water, I set back. I had already told dad, mom had a right to know as well. It was just as hard to tell mom as it was dad. “Mom ...” I didn’t even look at her. I couldn’t look at her. “I need to tell you something.” I knew that I would start to show, and there would be no hiding it at all. Taking a big drink from my water. “I’m ...I’m ...” Scribe why did this have to be so damn hard. I always thought that Baldassare would be with me when I did this. With no emotion, I finally say it. “I’m with young …” I didn’t look up to see what her reaction would be.

Mary: [Finally. I inwardly sigh as she doesn’t seem happy to tell me. No emotions at all. This was supposed to be a joyous occasion but with the loss of a mate … it was bittersweet.

I wiped my hands on my apron and came over to stand beside her and waited until she looked up at me. It was her choice if we should hug … I wanted to but I didn’t want to push.]

Bitty. I’m so proud of you and so happy. We are going to welcome into the world a new part of you and Baldassare. Please remember that. I know these last few weeks have been really hard on you. It has for all of us. This miracle will help you live on … don’t you see that. Honey … you have a part of Baldassare inside of you that will live on even though his father isn’t here. Things happen for a reason and even though none of us can possibly fathom the grand design … we have to have hope that things are how they are meant to be.

Bitty: My eyes looked up to mom. I could tell that she wanted a hug, but I just wasn’t feeling it, I couldn’t. The last time I was happy about our young, the night that I lost Baldassare. It was the first time that we learned we were going to have young. He was excited, I was too. Hours later, I lost him. The only man that I loved.

I listened to her words, what stuck me was when she said how they are meant to be. My hands balled up. Her words pissed me off. Looking down at my fists. “How dare you say this was meant to be.” My voice low and filled with anger. “That I have to carry the weight of his loss, that our young will never meet their father! He will never feel our young move, never see his young come into this world, never see his young take their first steps!” My anger filled eyes looked up to met hers. “Don’t talk to me about the grand design of this hell I live in day after day, night after night!” I didn’t mean to be this way to my mom. But I couldn’t help it, the words triggered something inside of me. “Until you live with a loss as of that of a bonded mate, don’t say something like to me!”

I felt bad for saying that my mom. I just snapped.

Mary: [I was only slightly surprised at her vehemence and how she twisted my words, it was only natural after such a large loss. Anger. I knew she didn’t understand. I stepped away as I heard the timer go off and took the cakes out of the oven.]

Before you came to our family … before I met your father … I had cancer. I beat it and was in remission but when your father and I met … it came back, it's called a recurrence. You’re father and I just met … and at first I didn’t want him to see me like that … with the tubes, loss of weight and hair and many other things that come with the disease. My body could no longer take the chemotherapy as before so the end was something I knew was coming and coming fast. My diagnosis was bleak, the doctor’s couldn’t tell me how much longer I was going to live. Your father, blessed male that he is, wanted to be there even knowing I was going to go into the Fade. We had only known each other a handful of weeks but I had a chance to not be alone in the last few moments of my life. Then I was granted with the biggest gift to be given … life. I had a second chance to live my life.

[I placed the cakes on stands and let them cool a bit while I prepared the icing to decorate all the while trying to keep my own tears at bay at the memories.]

All I am saying as that you’re not alone, you have me and your dad … you have someone that is totally dependent on you. Someone who’s life if now in your hands. Solely. No one can help him/her but you. You have been blessed to have a child. Something I was not never meant to have myself until you. But I did not carry you within in for 9 or 18 months. I did not get to feel you move around inside me and grow into the beautiful child before you came to me. I missed the first 13 years of your life. You have a chance to feel your child grow within you and then see them as a baby, toddler and grow up. Yes, your hellren is no longer here, but that doesn’t mean he’s not looking down watching over you. It is not what happens to you that matters in life, but how you respond to what happens to you that matters.

Bitty: Sighs shaking my head. I knew the story. More than anyone. I was told the story of how they met each other, what they went through and how they are now able to stay together. Until mom wants to walk into the Fade to be with dad.

I wasn’t myself, everyone knew that. I didn’t care who hurt, deep down I felt for them. However, there were only a few that understood what I went through. The ones that lost a mate that they had bonded to. To have that ripped away, words would never be able to tell how those males and females felt. Mom would always be with dad no matter what, even when he passes unto the fade, he will have her and she will have him. I have to have the years upon years, without the one I loved more than anything in this world.

I could smell her tears, I knew she was living memories no one wanted to live again. I stopped what I was doing. I stood up, as I placed my hands on the counter. “Tell me how you would know how it feels to lose a mate? You can go into the fade, you wouldn’t have to live a hell like I have. I do understand where you’re coming from. But you don’t really know what you speak of.” Taking a deep breath, I wanted to hug my mom, but I didn’t. I wanted to wipe away the tears that wanted to fall. I just couldn’t do it.

“I’m doing the best I can! I can’t make this pain stop, I can’t force myself to eat, let alone feed. Every time I think about the young that grows within me. I hurt worse! He is going to miss everything! Yes, I have my family around me. But no one can walk this path for me. I have to live with the fear, me or my child might not make it! That I’ll lose the last of my hellern! Not everything can work out! Not everything will be ok!”

It almost all spilled out of me. But I stopped myself. Locking my jaw, not saying another word.

Mary: [I could feel her vehemence through her words and decided that perhaps I could not console her after all. Though she is my daughter … clearly perhaps I was not the right person for the situation. It broke my heart to see her this way knowing it seemed that I was just making the situation worse. We have lost so many these past decades. It has been difficult knowing that it could happen to anyone. Then there’s Lyric and the brainwashing that the Omega had done her. These past few days have been so hard on everyone. Physically and emotionally.

I merely nodded.] You’re right.

Lyric: In the past few days, I had been poked, prodded, and had enough wires attached to me to light up a nuclear power plant. These people kept telling me I was not their prisoner, that I was their long lost family member, however I wasn’t allowed free reign anywhere in the facility. They tried to tell me it was for my own good, they needed me to stay in this “hospital room” so they could observe me until they were sure I was okay. Okay? What the hell were they talking about? They were the ones that abducted me from my home! They were the ones that manhandled me and knocked me out! These people were not my family. I had never seen any one of them before in my life. These people were strangers to me. And why the hell did they keep calling me Lyric?!

This evening was apparently different. After I was finished with my meal one of the larger males had come down and was talking about getting me out of my room for a bit. With serious trepidation, I agreed, if for nothing else, to get another look at some of the building they were keeping me. The one time I had escaped, I only got a look at a very long hallway, and giant weight room. I wanted to scope out a little bit more of the place.

I don’t know if I had ever seen a larger ego in a person before. The male that escorted me around was so full of himself, I was sure he believed with all his heart that his shit never stank a day in his life. Idiot! Cracking jokes the whole way. I was only half paying attention. I was more interested in where we had been, where we were going, and how we were getting there. I was trying to map this whole place out in my mind. Unfortunately, we didn’t go all that far. He opened up a door off the main hallway and waved me in. It seemed to be an office of sorts. A couch, a couple of chairs, and a desk occupied by a fairly young female. Interesting … how many human pets did these people have?

The male walked in and gave the female a kiss. “I’ll be outside if you need me.” Then I watched as he took his leave and shut me in with her. Moving my gaze back to her, I lifted my chin, unsure of exactly what was coming next.

Mary: [Rhage was nervous leaving me with Lyric, not knowing exactly what she would do. She had no recollection of any of us so it’s not like she remembered that I was her aunt. I very slowly came around the desk and sat in the chair next to her so that we were on the same level. It seemed appropriate since I am human, for all extensive purposes, and being seated at the desk would give a false dynamic.]

I know this is all very strange. I can’t even imagin what you are feeling right now. So I suppose I should start from the beginning and tell you what we know and try to fill in some of the blanks.

As you may or may not know, by leave of 'The Creator', has two children. The Scribe Virgin was granted the ability to perform a single act of creation (birthing life from cosmic spiritual energy), which she expended to bring the Vampires into existence. But there is a yin to her yang. A malevolent, mystical figure who has targeted the Vampires for extinction out of resentment directed toward The Scribe Virgin. The Omega, he exists in a non-temporal realm and has extensive powers, though not the power of creation (he can do so with flesh, but not with spiritual energy). He created the lessers and kidnapped you and has kept you prisoner all these years.

You are at the Brotherhood compound. You were born here at the Manse, to the Chosen Layla and the Brother Qhuinn of Lohstrong, over 94 years ago. One night, your parents along with another Brother Phury were transporting you and were ambushed by lessers and you were taken from us and they were all killed.

[I watched as curiosity, morphed into surprise and a flicker of anger. I doubt she would believe me. She didn’t /just/ have a case for Stockholm syndrome. This was completely different. Because she was kidnapped as a toddler she would have have absolutely no memories … at least I don’t think. I probably should have asked Rhage and Wrath about that.]

There’s more … [I waited as you digested the first set of information.] You have a twin brother.

Lyric: Pacing across the room, I abruptly accused this female, “Lies! All lies!” She was trying to fill my head with the foulest of lies. The Omega has fought tooth and nail for everything he’s ever had. It was not his fault that “The Creator” favored his sister. He had been treated like the shit scraped off the bottom of a shoe all his existence. He has only ever tried to earn his due. Not to mention this whole suggestion of me being the offspring of a lesser race! How could she insinuate that I was one of them?! One of The Scribe Virgin’s creations? I was so much more than that. I was The Omega’s only living heir. There had only been one before me. But, I was the mother of The Omega’s young, the queen of his race. There was no way I would believe one word coming out of this human’s mouth.

Taking a seat in front of the female, I leaned back with my arms crossed, and went on, “If this is your way of trying to get me to turn on my maker, you’ve got the wrong person. I know exactly who I am, who I am not, and where I belong… and that is not here.” A twin brother! Pfft! Nice try. The only brother I had was The Omega’s other heir, and he was long since dead. From what I had been told, he had been ignorant and greedy. I wasn’t a sucker. My creator had many flaws, one of them being his capricious behavior with all other people. Somehow, I had managed to outlive everyone else, so I knew I was special. Trying to make me think otherwise was a fool’s errand.

Mary: [I knew she suffered from an acute case of Stockholm syndrome, a version of it so I came prepared.]

You remember what you looked like when you were little yes? [I signed in relief as she nodded as it would solidify the next part of my plan. I went to the box and got out Layla’s meticulous timelined photo album and handed it to her.] Here.

[I watched as doubted whatever I gave her and the preceded to open up the cover and viewed its contents. I knew each page by heart. All the shellans did, when we got together we would sit with Rhampage and view all the pages of the album to make sure he would always remember his twin sister and his parents. Blay always made sure to go through it at least once a week. I kept the sob that was threatening to release at the his recent death and tried to focus at the task at hand.

I knew it wasn’t enough, she would accuse us of doctoring the photos so … I took out my cell phone and showed her a few videos knowing that there was no way for us to doctor those through growth unless we really had video footage. Apparently, she never seen herself in video form. Guess the Omega wasn’t keen on much technology.]

Lyric: As she pushed the tome across the table, I tried hard to hide the trepidation in my soul. What trick did this human think she was going to pull? There was nothing this female could show me that would change what I knew in my gut. Yet, curiosity tugged at my conscious and I reached out to pull it in front of me, anyway. As I ran my hands gently over the cover, a sense of unease tingled up my spine and I almost didn’t open it. Then I remembered, there was nothing this female could say, do, or show me that could weaken my resolve in who I was, and I threw open the lid of the codex.

I was not prepared for what I saw, nor the emotions it unearthed. There were what appeared to be pictures of myself, with numerous people, one of which was the female sitting across from me. But the one that captured my interest was one where I was seated on the lap of the most beautiful female. She had mine own lips. With her was a male, whose eye, I swore were like looking in a mirror. I reached forward with one finger to caress the photo, before slamming the cover back onto it. “Lies! More Lies! I don’t know how you did it, but these are not real.” They couldn’t be. It couldn’t be me. I was His. I belonged to Him.

Then she pushed something else across the table at me. I had never seen anything like it. It had moving images on it… only on one side, though. The other side was plain. Flipping it back over I watched in horror as this little being, that looked just like me, danced and played and hugged and ran … with all the people in the pictures. I could feel agitation bubbling up inside me. Confusion, dismay, ire … all at once it slammed into me. This was all so wrong! I flung the thing across the room and into the wall, shattering its face, but it still taunted me with those visions.

Turning back to the female sitting across from me, I hissed out. “I don’t know what you are trying to do, but it’s not going to work.” Then it hit me. They think if they can make me believe I belong with them, that it will make me turn on my true sire. Interesting tactics in torture. They somehow think I know something that will help them in their quest to stop him. Well, the laugh’s on them. My master is smarter than that. He doesn’t give away those secrets to anyone. “I will never turn on Him. You will have to try much harder than that,” I nodded to the collection of pictures in front of me and pushed it across the table at the female, “to get me to talk.”

Mary: [Great, now Rhage will need to buy me a new iPhone but I inwardly grinned knowing he’d be happy to knowing he could throw Apple into #Vishous’s face although Blackberry has been obsolete for a few years now.

I remained seated and did not react to her temper tantrum as she spewed her hate. I knew this wouldn’t be easy. It's been decades since she was stolen from us when we thought she was dead.]

Lyric, we are not asking you to do anything. Especially right now. We are just trying to explain our side of this story and why you are here now. To show you how much we care and love you. We don’t want you to have to turn on anyone. [I was interrupted when I heard a knock at the door. Getting up and opening it, I see @BellaAhgony in the hall with the few things I texted her to bring to me. #Rhage still at the ready standing next to her. Gathering the things, I thanked her and smiled at #Rhage and closed the door again.

I sat back down and picked up Lyric’s old baby blanket, two stuffed dragons, one with a missing eye and one with some patches and some well loved books from the basket and placed them on the table. She eyed them warily and slowly reached for the stuffed dragon. I hoped it will help trigger any memories of her twin brother #Rhampage and how they use to each have the same set.]

Lyric: How could this human think I would believe anything she said to me? I had been accosted and ripped from my home by /her/ people! Now, they were trying to make me believe I belonged to them? I belonged to the Omega, not these vampires and their human pets! There was nothing they could say or do to change my mind. I was the Omega’s chosen one. That was what I was called as a young, “The Chosen.” When I was finally given a name, it was Leda, meaning mother. His followers always told me, I was born to be their mother. I was chosen to be their mother. I was His, and only His. Everything I knew about myself was connected to Him.

Then there was that name again. “Lyric.” That name meant nothing to me. But, I let them continue to use it. I would not give them my real name. They didn’t deserve to know it.

Suddenly, there was a rap on the door and I whipped my head around, waiting for some kind of attack. But, it was only another female, with an armful of items I was sure were supposed to bring back old, buried feelings of some sort, or at least I’m sure that was what the human was expecting.

I watched as the human laid out the items in front of me, some sort of rag, more tomes… that couldn’t have anything in them, as they had but only a few pages, and a couple of ... strange, fake ... dragons? Is that what those are supposed to be? I picked one up, because I wasn’t sure. It was so tattered and beat up, I had to look close. I twisted it around in my hands as the scent of it wafted into my nose. Another barrage of emotions washed over me. Feelings I didn’t understand, that I didn’t remember ever feeling before, ones that brought a tear to my eye, and not because I was hurt so badly that they wouldn’t stop flowing, but for some other, strange reason. Looking down, I caught the symbol of an “R” on the tag of the little fake dragon and promptly tore it’s head off.

Raising my ferocious gaze to meet the human’s, I held back my rage, and firmly responded, “I. Am. Done. Here.” each word dripping with the disdain for this whole conversation. “Bring me back to my room. Now!”

Mary: [Good Lord, she was stubborn which only made me smile. She was this way when she was a toddler as well … takes after Qhuinn, bless his soul. I wish he and Layla were here with us. And now Blay. I felt a pang in my heart knowing the we lost him rescuing her. We couldn’t stop him knowing he would be her only parent left. He refused to be on the sidelines. He help hope for so many years that Lyric was still alive and well … along with #Qhuinn. He had been a shell of a male when they went missing.

I gathered up the albums, and toys knowing #Fred could fix up the dragon stuffed toy for her and placed them back in the basket. I would have the doggen out them in her room to allow her to reacquaint herself with her past. This was going to take some time I knew that … but it still felt great to have her home again even if she hated all of us.

I went back to the door and saw my hellren standing there. He knew what had been going on, vampire hearing and all, so he gave me a great big hug and kissed me on the lips and then on the sides of my neck. Though he could not feed from me to survive, he still showed the very romantic vampiric gesture.]

She wants to go back to her room. [I told him and he nodded, ushered me through the door and closed it behind me.]

“Don’t feel bad … we all knew that this would be another battle for us to overcome. You’re doing great Mary.” [He picked up the stuffed dragon he had given the twins when they were just a few months old, now missing his head and I could feel him hurting inside. Placing my hand over his heart I hugged him tight against me. Hoping everything would be ok.]