It’d be a missed opportunity if I ignored the date

shark vs the universe
noise dept.
tumblr dot com
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
styofa doing anything
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Product Placement
occasionally subtle

roma★
Cosmic Funnies
RMH
trying on a metaphor

oozey mess
Not today Justin
cherry valley forever

Kiana Khansmith
art blog(derogatory)
$LAYYYTER
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@mary--jo--holmes
It’d be a missed opportunity if I ignored the date

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So my grandmother passed recently, and I got her will
My birth father was always a piece of shit, always stealing from his mother and ditching his kids whenever he could, I got to his part of the will and
Grammy had the last laugh
This is actually done for legal reasons. If Chad was excluded from the will entirely, he could make the case that he was supposed to be included but was forgotten, and get a big chunk of the estate. By explicitly giving him $1, it shows he wasn’t forgotten so he doesnt have a case.
Ah yes, reminds me of my grandma who refused to get remarried so my cheating grandfather would have to pay her alimony the rest of her life...
The King’s Speech (2010) dir. Tom Hooper
Legit dialogue, actually in the movie
Happy (future) birthday, Jim Kirk!
Ah yes, the day I turn 239! We have a long way to go in the 210 Years.
On a side note it’s also William Shatner’s bday as well.
March 22 2019 is gonna be CRAZY
There’s no op because this post was sent from god himself
Uhhhh my 30th birthday!

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you ain’t grading a college paper
Do this for any company that asks you to review their employees always.
Because it’s either 5 or they fail to the company, especially Comcast
Ladies, I am holding out my hand. Do you trust me?
I need you to open Google Maps. Locate your nearest mall. Get in your car. Drive to Yankee Candle.
Past the seasonal pumpkin display, near the back of the store, you will find a trash pile Man Candle section. You will see candles called MMM, Bacon!. Riding Mower. Man Town. (I’m not kidding. Man Town.) Stay strong. Not in this section, but likely very near this section, you will find a candle called Mountain Lodge.
Hold this jar in your hands like a talisman. Close your eyes and picture a man.
I want to be clear: I’m not talking about a Hugh Dancy. Or an Andrew Garfield, a Ben Whishaw, even a Tom Hiddleston. This exercise requires someone in the Chris Evans weight class. The Richard Armitage department. Someone with smile lines around his eyes who could chop the cedar for your bower with his own hands, strangle an alpha wolf, carry you home when you sprain your ankle in the woods, bench press your entire body. Picture this man in your mountain home with a full beard, a slightly grimy white henley, a fond half smile he reserves only for you. Now open the lid and smell Mountain Lodge.
Steady yourself on the man candle display. Give yourself a second. No, you’re not wrong. Yes, the Yankee Candle Company has just eliminated the need for men. This medium tumbler Mountain Lodge candle jar is now your boyfriend. The Yankee Candle Company has effectively replaced the need for contact with the male half of our species with a compact and clean-burning candle in a jar.
“Do you like this one?” the cashier asked, ringing me up. “Every man should be required by law to smell like what this candle smells like,” I replied intensely. “That’ll be $12.01,” she said.
MOUNTAIN LODGE
it literally smells like waking up on a cold night to find a bearded richard armitage adding another quilt to the bed before he gets back in and pulls you snugly against his chest
I’m not fucking around I feel like I should be watching chris hemsworth in flannel and suspenders whittling a delicate masterpiece in front of a fireplace rn
All right, Tumblr, I saw this post a few months ago and immediately realized I had to smell this candle. I have never in my life experienced such a burning need (pun intended) to smell what the Yankee Candle website described as a warm aroma of cedarwood and sage, but what Tumblr described as my new boyfriend.
The trouble is that nearest Yankee Candle Company store was a bit of a trek, and my schedule tended to prohibit this olfactory adventure.
So for the last few weeks, as I’d scroll my Tumblr dash and look at images of attractive manly men, I’d sigh and wistfully think, if only I could engage another sense with this image. If only I could I could truly fathom the ideal fragrance of this man.
And then this happened.
And I knew.
I knew whatever was happening, I needed to get to a Yankee Candle Company. The scent of Mountain Lodge would transport me instantly to this scene. The aroma of this infamous candle could make me live out a self-insertion Avengers fanfic.
So I got in my car, made the drive, and located the Yankee Candle Company. The store was crowded with holiday shoppers. My nose was immediately assaulted by hundreds of warring scents.
I battled through the sea of humanity and the Angel Wings-Merry Marshmallow-Magical Frosted Forest assault, buoyed on by my need to understand what Steve Rogers ripping a log in half with his bare hands smelled like.
I waded toward the back of the store, only to discover the man candle section seems to have been discontinued. What was I going to steady myself on, once I found my scented gateway to hanging out with the Avengers on Hawkeye’s farm? I felt lost, adrift, unable to find my bearings amid Soft Blanket-Fluffy Towels-Home Sweet Home.
And then… rising from the “Fresh” display, there it was.
Mountain Lodge.
It was the moment of truth. What would it be like to smell this infamous candle?
I opened the lid. I took a deep breath.
And I giggled.
Ah yes. This was it. This gentle, pleasantly masculine fragrance, in fact, reduced me to what I’d probably do in the actual presence of Chris Evans: giggle like an idiot.
The smell makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me gently swoon: all reactions that, indeed, can be elicited by an ideal man. I can barely handle the true power of Mountain Lodge.
Several months have passed since this discovery. I have regaled friends with the saga, and after hearing of it, they, too, felt the burning need to smell the candle. One by one, we have all become Mountain Lodge converts. In times of need, this candle is our refuge. Our group has developed escapist superpowers, infused by the Yankee Candle Company.
THE CANDLE, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND.
MOUNTAIN LODGE.
This is how you do advertisement
we love everything about all of this. We will always be there for you, just light your Mountain Lodge candle and know that our love burns bright for you.
The official Yankee Candle™ tumblr account has recognized the Mountain Lodge mythos. My work on the material plane is finally complete. A being of pure light, I slowly ascend to the aether.
So I went into the Yankee Candle in my local mall today, 30 minutes after they opened so it’s just me and the employee there. Both images make the candle look on the redder side so I’m looking with the reds since they’re color-coded and not really finding it and I must look confused because the clerk asks if she can help me find anything. “Yes, Um. I’m looking for Mountain… mountain Cabin?” “Mountain Lodge?” she politely clarified and I nodded “Yeah, I think so.” She led me over to a different area and picked up a candle that was not red but brown like the color of the wood your lumberjack bae of choice will no doubt chop for the fireplace to keep you warm. “That’s funny, the candle gets popular in waves. Sometimes nobody remembers we have it, and then for like a week people will come in asking for ‘Mountain Something’.” she handed me the candle, let me smell it.
“Oh, that’s. Um. That’s probably because of the tumblr post going around?” she knew Yankee Candle did social media but wasn’t familiar with the specific post. So I gave her a brief summary of it, slowly getting a bit more embarrassed. If she judged me she didn’t show it, laughing in a friendly manner and saying she’d have to look it up. “Yes,” I said. “It’s very convincing.”
God fucking dammit I’m gonna have to buy man candles now
Granted my bedsheets currently smell like cedar so
I was genuinely skeptical, for tumblr has the tendency to get a little too hyped up over something not that great.
Never have I been so glad to be proven wrong.
After finding this post for the second time in less than a month, and with my birthday being yesterday (and therefore I had the extra money to spare), I figured it was fate for me to actually drive the short 7 miles to my nearest Yankee Candle and see what all the fuss was about.
When I reached the store, I entered with a mission. I was going to find this candle. I was going to see for myself if it truly lived up to its tumblr reputation.
The sweet blonde lady at the register didn’t even get the chance to ask me if I was looking for anything in particular when I found it. Under the “Home” section of the quaint little store was the beautiful warm brown of this candle. I smiled at the lady and told her that I found what I was looking for.
I braced myself. I pictured Chris Evans. I pictured Chris Hemsworth, even Chris Pine. I opened the lid.
I giggled. I smiled like a dork. I blushed and I swooned and this candle is the greatest creation on God’s great earth. You don’t even need to picture the buff and burly man. As soon as I smelled the candle, my thoughts immediately jumped to Brendon Urie and Patrick Stump, for I know that’s what those two glorious men smell like as well.
Friends, believe me when I say this: the Yankee Candle Company has done it. This glorious company has successfully managed to capture the essence of Your Next Boyfriend™ and put it in the form of a candle.
Go on now, my children. Bask in its glory
Upon purchasing this candle, which my mother has since tossed 😡 I signed up for the catalog, now this is several years ago I first saw this, anyway, in the catalog I got shortly after, mountain lodge had its own page, and it said, popular on social media. 😳 we did a thing
Anyone else having issues with gifs on mobile?
Reblog if you need a Mike Stamford to point you in the direction of your soul mate.
My local spca has so many kittens in need of homes, but I have to keep telling myself that I can not get one just to let it get adjusted to my current living situation then uproot it a couple months down the road, I mean, they named a yellow cat, dandy lion, I mean...
I gotta say that is a ton better than them naming my Lucky, O’lantern.

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the fun part is trying to figure out what everyone in the notes’ real names are
Amy. Fuck having a short name
Anvry
Eeiln
Aaklr
Eenr
Lame lol
Acehlortt
aabegilr
eeems
Aadin
achinrst- sounds more like a setting than a name.
i’ve done this before but abcel sounds better than aabceejlms, so thats why i didnt do both
gimmr
welp-
Adenrw or Aer. Hm. Okay.
Ikrs…sounds more like a text acronym
Aceijss...
When my aunt flow decides to make landfall as Hurricane Flo does...😱😴😪
hozier, shaking off his moss and pebbles: new music september 6th :)
big mood
I can’t get over this
me screaming in another plane of existence
HE JUST STRAIGHT UP STARTS SCREAMING I LOVE THIS DOG OH MY GOD!
THIS IS A FOREVER MOOD
It’s wednesday, my dudes

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oh my goddd. I thought it was great from the beginning but it only gets better
Oh they’re killing me, the kitty looks like my late lucky...
This is the money frog reblog for good luck and many crickets
money can be exchange for goods and services