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boomkid-deactivated20200108

me: i’m gonna do work today! hell yeah babey

brain: wrong

me: what?

brain: wrong

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eli0tknight-deactivated20181203

All our generation wants is a small apartment and a spouse that loves them back.

rakeeshsorrel-nuked-deactivated

In-suite laundry would be nice too.

bisexualgambit

when you’re using a public restroom and you have done your business and you hear a toilet flush while you are washing your hands

oh and fyi:

hsdscandids

#THIS IS SUCH A LOOK

major-moved-deactivated20181030

you ever take a shower just to flex on post malone

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riverclan-moved-deactivated2019

me: poke th cat

cat: mrrhp

me every time: wow.

doujinshi

me: *starts eating healthy and drinking water* oh wow this is actually really nice and fun.

me:

me: I SAID THIS IS REALLY NICE

brain: oh right. heres some dopamine for the bare minimum u basic ass bitch

me: thank u

lmaonade

wow i sure hope *starts smacking my neck* THERES NO VAMPIRES AROUND. *slaps my neck really really hard* i HOPE there’s NO vampires who might want to BITE ME and suck my blood right here from my *i am smacking so godforsakenly hard* NECK

cosed

one day i will. then you’ll see. you will all fucking see

cosed

this is the funniest reply everyone else go home

turtle-pancakes

Made with Photofunia

#SAME

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jumex

911…id like to report something she did Operator: what she do? Me:…that

firebang

Only gay people can read this

eggsquad

Literally my math teacher abandoned today’s lesson because some kid brought his kitten to school i don’t even know

mcish-deactivated20140919

can the guy who brought it in let me raw him

tylerjosephotos

theonion

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dawnblade

im an evil boy-kissing transgender

incurablenecromantic

“Old friend” either means an elderly dog or an individual of the same gender with whom you have been secretly in love for more than a decade. There are no other possible interpretations.

reasonably-annoyed-fog

This is blatant archenemy erasure and I won’t stand for it

jagarsjora

Bold of you to assume the archenemy isn’t the individual of the same gender you’ve been secretly in love with for more than a decade

#this is a drarry mood

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