Setting my phone on fire and sending it out to sea in a very small boat while Danganronpa execution music plays in the background
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@maru-the-alien
Setting my phone on fire and sending it out to sea in a very small boat while Danganronpa execution music plays in the background

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dealing with the worst case scenario
your condom breaks
you feel a lump on your breast
your friends are ignoring you
you’re stranded on an island
you got rejected by a crush
you get into a car accident
you got stung by a bee/wasp
you got fired from your job
you’re in an earthquake
your tattoo gets infected
your house is on fire
you’re lost in the woods
you get arrested abroad
you get robbed
your partner cheated on you
you’re on a ship that’s sinking
you fall into ice
you’re stuck in an elevator
you hit a deer with your car
you have food poisoning
your pet passed away
you fall off of a horse
you or your friend has alcohol poisoning
you have toxic shock syndrome
your house has a gas leak
I feel like this could be useful in my future
REBLOG THIS. I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT THIS GUIDES ARE, BOOST THIS SHIT
If I don’t reblog this one of these things is definitely going to happen to me
Useful as fuck…
i wanna see more art of trans men with boobs where the point of the art is anything other than the fact that they have boobs. i want the idea of trans men with breasts to stop being novel. i want people to stop perceiving trans men as only either having already had top surgery or always binding. i want people to stop assuming everyone with visible breasts is a woman or woman-aligned. i want breasts to become a completely genderless feature. i wanna be allowed to let em hang without being misgendered. i wanna be able to stop worrying about what to put on my chest every day for the sake of other people's perception of me without feeling pressured into getting expensive surgery. i want that to stop being the only two options for transmascs
And then you can’t even say shit about bc people start trying to put you in a jacket and shit. Like omg it’s so strict???
Thank you for engaging in the mortifying ordeal of being known so that I may partake in the euphoric experience of knowing you.

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Truth is, I don’t want a packer for benign gender purposes, I want one for perverted horny purposes
DAWG look at how Caine floats away here in one of the Jax flashbacks I’m dead 🤣🤣🤣
Boundaries (T.F.)
Synopsis: Your roommate Toji has no understanding of privacy, and that escalates
Tags/Warnings: Toji x M!Reader, smut, porn with minimal plot, switch!Toji x switch!reader, oral sex, very very light dubcon (consent is clarified pretty much immediately), roommates, friends with benefits, friends with benefits to.. lovers?
Word Count: 2,064
Notes: Trying to get back into the swing of things so took this idea off my list as a little "warm up" to get me writing again also I didn't proof this and nobody beta'd it so good luck

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"it's not a big deal when it's you, babe." — ryomen sukuna.
imagining that time all ace star volleyball player ryomen sukuna was deep in sleep after a long day at work. it was already late when he got in. marin was the only one left waiting for him. he pats marin softly after putting away his gear. marin excitedly pushes her head against his palm and even to his body, her tail wagging in joy that her dad was finally home.
"aren't you a little bit too excited to see dada, pretty girl?" he giggles as marin bypassed his hand and pushes her body onto him, making him slouch against her body. he laughs deeper this time. "ill take that as a yes, pretty girl."
marin barks lightly, but even then sukuna sushes her softly, pressing a kiss against her golden ear. "now pretty girl, mama's asleep. shes exhausted, you know? give her some peace and quiet. your sister's being a bit difficult today, so be kind, hm?"
marin didn't seem to understand as she tilted her head but sukuna couldn't even be frustrated with that. she was too cute. so he's going to let it pass. besides, he's too exhausted. he's not going to last the remainder of the night. he's going to take this moment be happy to sleep on it.
"come on, marin. let's go to sleep too. otherwise, we'll miss mama for breakfast. and miss on our morning walk too!"
that marin seems to understand as she follows him to the bedroom. sukuna watches as she ends up laying on her big, comfortable doggy bed, finding herself slowly letting her energetic body become more relaxed. sukuna nodded in approval, marin lays her head on her biggest pillow as she watched him enter the bathroom.
for the first time in his entire life, ryomen sukuna debated whether or not he should shower before going to bed or just washing up. he has never had a time where he hasn't showered. the red eyed man was sensitive to feeling like sweat clinging his skin or not feeling refreshed after a long day of training. but he was too exhausted to try and think about it. so he decides to just wash up.
"wait." he stops himself as he preps to wash, narrowing his eyes. "she's not going to like it if i just wash up too......"
he looks at you, his beloved astrophyscist wife, sleeping serenely amongst the many layers of blankets you have on the bed. as of late, you've felt so disturbed by the heat you feel in your body as the pregnancy progressed. sukuna understood so he turned up the ac. but then you complained about feeling cold. it was a simple fix for him. he gathers as many thickened blankets at home and placed it on your bed for you to use. you were content with that and you felt better for it.
despite all those blankets and feeling the heat yourself, your rule hasnt changed. you liked it better when the two of you showered before bed. the fresh, cool feeling of having a body clean and well washed lessens the grievance of warmth when you hugged. especially now that you were feeling so hot this pregnancy and your smelling senses becoming more intense, you would not be hugging him tonight, given the smell and the difference in body temperature.
he purses his lips. the water is cold tonight, and he'll have to wait for the heater to do its thing. but still, making sure he's clean and cool and smells amazing for you is the least he could do. you're doing everything already, especially growing your child. sukuna nods to himself as he turns the shower on.
"for my wife and child!" he quietly hypes himself up. "let's do this!"
ryomen sukuna doesn't last more than five minutes with the cold water. but it got the job done. still, he feels himself shivering as he comes out, already dried his hair. marin looks at him, almost like she's judging him. sukuna sighed, putting the towel on the bathroom rack to dry.
"marin, take that look off and go to sleep, young lady." sukuna says, as he starts laying on the bed too. marin looks up at him, her big eyes still unchanged in their gaze. he sighs. "you're really going to keep judging your old man, huh?"
marin lowers her head and starts to prepare herself to sleep. sukuna looks aghast. "wow, okay then."
sukuna all but slipped beneath the covers a moment later, another quiet yawn escaping him as he settled onto the mattress and pulled the blanket to his chest. for a while he simply watched you. his heart gave the familiar, helpless flutter it always did. you were drooling faintly onto the pillow, brow furrowed in sleepy indignation as you searched for a more comfortable position, carefully turning along with your prominent belly.
a little while later, you had apparently begun holding an earnest conversation with a dolphin in your dreams. somehow, every one of those little details only deepened the affection swelling in his chest. bathed in silver moonlight, you looked impossibly beautiful, and the sight of you waiting safely at home made the strain of the day melt away. this, he thought, was the reward at the end of every exhausting practice and every difficult match and every game. the quiet certainty of coming back to you, your baby and marin.
he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. the tiny crease between your brows eased at once, and the corners of your lips curved into the faintest smile. smiling himself, he gathered you gently into his arms and rested his forehead against your hair.
“i love you, babe. more than anything in the world. you, 'kumi and marin.” he whispered into the stillness of the room, the words growing softer with each repetition until sleep claimed him too, leaving the two of you wrapped together beneath the moonlit sheets.
but his sleep didn't last long. just as the night drifted, he turns around as he hears something said against his ear in the middle of the early morning. it was your voice, calling to him quietly.
“my love, you awake?” you murmured, poking his cheek. “wake up. it’s urgent.”
he slowly opened his eyes, carefully rubbing them before he sat up instantly. “baby, what happened?”
you turned your laptop toward him. he blinked. you've must have been awake for a while. he looks at the wall clock. it was three in the morning. quickly, he turned his attention back to you, who was smiling from ear to ear as you point to the computer pressed carefully against your body. he leaned closer. on the screen was a spreadsheet so elaborate it could have guided a space mission. there were tabs, color coding, formulas, and a graph titled projected craving satisfaction.
"babe, what is this?"
“its our self-indulgent research. this time my love, i require katsudon! i already ate some yesterday when you were at work, you see. but our baby seems to want some new style!” you announced as you grinned, looking at your belly and then back to sukuna. “the restaurant from yesterday scored really great. but now that our girl wants something from a different restaurant this time, we should indulge her.”
he narrowed his ruby colored eyes. “babe, if i wasn't mistaken, counting yesterday, it means you’ve eaten katsudon four nights in a row.”
“yes, but the panko-to-rice ratio was suboptimal yesterday. i think we are never going back to that katsudon place. i mean, i have evidence.” you said excitedly. "give me a moment, there's a chart!"
you clicked to a chart. ryomen sukuna, who had once memorized an opponent’s entire playbook out of spite, found himself staring at a scatterplot labeled crispness versus emotional fulfillment. he rubbed a hand over his face and laughed despite himself.
“you’re reviewing comfort food like it’s a telescope proposal.”
“as an astrophysicist, this is an important record to have.” you replied with impeccable seriousness, “i am obligated to follow the data. also, our little girl agrees with me.”
the appeal to your pregnancy was, as always, unbeatable. he knew that this was important to you and your happiness as much as it increases your daughter's strength as she grows. if it's for the two of you, he doesn't see why he shouldn't just go and do it.
ryomen sukuna answered with a theatrical yawn and pushed himself to his feet, stretching until his shoulders popped. the display earned exactly what he wanted ehich was of course, your sleepy little giggle. with a wide grin, he crossed to the coat rack and tugged on his hoodie, glancing over at you as you sat cross-legged amid pillows and spreadsheets.
“you know, babe, this is not what people typically do with their cravings.” he said, slipping his phone into his pocket, “most people satisfy a midnight craving with whatever is open.”
“and deprive science of a valuable data point?” you gasped. “never. and besides, my love. when have we ver been normal?”
"never." he laughed and bent to kiss your forehead. “all right, then. if that is what my queen and princess desire, which poor establishment has been selected for tonight’s field study?”
you spun the laptop toward him and tapped the highlighted row. “the little place by the river. we haven’t sampled their katsudon yet. i think they’re new!”
“a rookie contender, huh?” the fuschia haired man mused. “do they know an olympic-level, internationally acclaimed astrophysics review panel is about to descend upon them?”
“not yet but they'll find out soon enough!” you replied with a mischievous smile. “oh, my love, send me your location when you get there too. i need to estimate travel time for the report.”
sukuna shook his head fondly. “you’ve turned comfort food into a research proposal.”
“and you my dearest beloved husband, my precious lover boy, my love, you are ever so amazing as a husband and a father.” you countered to him. “a smart and able athlete on the field and now you are my most reliable research assistant too!”
“highest honors i’ve ever received, babe. thank you so much for this honor.” he said with an exaggerated bow. you giggled with delight at his playfulness. “all right—send me the pin.”
“on it!” you chirped, already tapping away on your phone. a moment later his buzzed. “mission parameters transmitted.”
“excellent, ill be on my way.” your husband all but said, slipping the phone into his pocket. “try not to add any new variables while i’m gone.”
“no promises, my love.”
"even now you're a brat, you know that?"
you grin with mischief. "don't you like it that way?"
he smiled back just as mischievously. ".....that i do."
a little over half an hour passes, your husband returned to find you exactly where he had left you, delicate body askew tenderly on the bed, trying to get comfortable as you type away on the computer. as you saw him enter the room, your eyes alight with anticipation. the moment he set the bag down, you clasped your hands together.
“you made good time, my love! this is great variable for the research.” you observed.
“anything for the principal investigator, of course.” he replied, handing over the precious cargo. “now, let’s see if this place is worthy of being on the research spreadsheet.”
you took a bite, closed your eyes, and hummed thoughtfully before reaching at once for the laptop. he chuckled, leaning over your shoulder to watch as you entered the newest results, already eager to hear the official verdict.
“nine point two…no, wait. that's not good. im getting my feelings ahead of this.” you narrowed your eyes at the spreadsheet, lips pursed in concentration. “let me rectify, i feel like that’s too generous. nine point one. i have to be objective.”
he raised a brow, chopsticks suspended halfway to his mouth. “a whole tenth of a point? that’s a brutal review on your part, isn't it?"
you nodded with all the gravity of a seasoned scientist. “the broth is exceptional, true enough. it's rich, balanced, deeply comforting. but the cutlet is slightly lopsided. when making a dish like this, its the symmetry matters. that's what makes it good too.”
“of course it does, babe.” he replied solemnly. “how foolish of me to overlook such a catastrophic flaw.”
you stifled a laugh and entered the final score. beside you, your fuchsia-haired husband shook his head, chuckling so hard he nearly dropped his chopsticks. when he finally recovered, he slipped an arm around your shoulders and drew you closer.
watching you work, he found himself thinking that these sleepy little expeditions would become the stories he cherished most. one day he would tell them to your daughter, embellishing every detail until she rolled her eyes and laughed, and perhaps years after that to grandchildren gathered around the dinner table.
he could already hear himself saying that the fearsome ace of the volleyball court who was admired by fans, opponents, and teammates alike had never been happier than when he was moonlighting as the devoted assistant to the world’s most adorable food researcher.
you caught him smiling to himself. “what’s that look for?”
“just thinking to myself, that's all.” he said, squeezing your shoulder gently. “i’m going to be telling this story for the rest of my life, you know? its an exciting one to tell our kids. the midnight missions to feed you and our girl. the many happy research spreadsheets you make. even this, the lectures on cutlet geometry......think that's going to be a story to tell, babe.”
“you make it sound like an ordeal.” you pout at him. "the kids would be bored of hearing it!"
“not at all, i think they'll be happy to hear it. we're having adventures like this. no one does it like we do.” he replied, smiling at you as he shook his head. “the kids will love it. and....i’d do a thousand more. though i may insist on your co-author status on the final paper.”
"you already are!"
"well that's good to hear! more credible means to fall back on once i retire."
you laughed lightly and held out your bowl. blushing cheeks prominent as your eyes turned lowly, shy as you looked at him. “my love…if it's alright with you....may i have a little more?”
he didn’t hesitate. “take mine.”
“all of it?” your eyes shone at his offer.
“all of it." he all but nodded, taking away your empty bowl and then placing his own in your hands. “it's not a big deal when it's you, babe. and if you’re still hungry afterward, i’ll go back for seconds. they’ll be open for a while yet.”
you looked up at him, touched. he only smiled, tapping the spreadsheet lightly with a fingertip. “what can i say? i’m committed to the research.”
sukuna smiles as he leans close and kisses you. "hm, that's how i love it, babe."
you smiled, looking up at him. "i love you."
"hm, and i love you more."
"So. Turns out I'm pretty stupid."
"Yeah."
"Wow. Really expected at least a little push back, there."
once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)
── how does it feel, here by my side? ♡‧₊ ⸝⸝
♡.ᐟ Fem! Reader x N. Kento
☽☾ suggestive ☽☾ fluff ☽☾ MDNI ☽☾ the arduous task of asking your husband of his opinion on how the dress makes you look, but unfortunately, it gets you into dangerous situations ☽☾
Would Kento say that he’s had his fair share of strangeness in his life? Absolutely. He can see things most people don’t; his cursed technique divides things in the mathematical ratio, and his co-worker was Gojo Satoru. Of course he has been surrounded by weird things all his life.
Would the same apply when you rush to him with a grievance? Well… he wouldn’t say it’s weird, per se. How could his darling wife be weird in any shape or form?
But your worries are unfounded, indeed. For example —
“Kento.” He could hear the pout in your voice so clearly, and he could imagine the downturn of your lips and furrowed brows over something Kento would not even call a problem, but alas, unrealistic beauty standards would do it to you.
“Does this make my boobs look uneven?”

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"slut era" i say as i rot and decay in my bedroom and watch the years pass me by as i miss out on core experiences other people my age are having while i think about the past
never let the fact that you were born a girl stop you from being the gayest man alive