MarshallSuperDouche

Legions ... This is where I depart. I am amazing, and know I have proven it to you. I know you will miss me, I miss writing about me already. Maybe someday I will return, just to check in, if you are lucky.

Because every pathetic and ridiculous moment of my man-child existence is recorded on Facebook for all to fucking see, every minute of the damn day. Because you all love me and want to be me.

Oh, I know what you're saying, "Who fucking cares?!?!?!" LOL!!

I took this with the camera mounted to my bike! Because looking at this is sooooooo exciting! Too bad you aren't Facebook friends with me, then you could watch all 27:45 of this exciting coverage.

Just keeping my legions up to date on every aspect of my day!

🎼I'm on top of the world, hey! LOL! I know you care so much that I'm on a dirt road. Did I mention how amazing I am?

I bet you thought I forgot about my legions of fans! No never!!!! I am a deep and sensitive man, as proof from me getting all beautifully sensitive about Elton John and his 70s ballads.

In the infamous words of Cheap Trick, "I want you to want me. I need you to need me." I KNOW you want me. I know I'm all that - and a bag of chips! (Albeit, the generic chips, because I'm a cheap ass).

Because I live with my parents, like any grown, responsible man does.

No one wanted to be elite with me today. Think the truth is people don't like to be in the shadow of my greatness. My ego is secure, and I'm a swell, and ELITE, athletic specimen. I guess I will remain up here on my pedestal by myself. Didn't need you guys anyway.

I'm on a roll tonight! Just waiting for someone to give me a thumbs up or say something, ANYTHING, to let me know you're paying attention to ME.

I actually don't care how you're doing. I just want you to ask me how I'm doing.