looking like a whole snack in this b

the walking dead, game of thrones, and breaking bad were just superwholock for men

sir that’s my emotional support cowboy 

oh good to know the tumblr staff team has gone completely insane

sir im gonna need to see your male nipple license

sir that is my emotional support female nipple

who else just wants to fuck off and living in animal crossing. my neighbor is a bird. i sold three pieces of fruit and bought a sofa with the profit. caught butterflies for two straight hours. my debt exists but the debtor literally doesn’t give a single flying fuck. i wanna go drink coffee at a cafe where it’s served to me by a Gentle pigeon. everyone is happy like 99% of the time unless you whack em with a net or something idk

I’m one of those girls that uses lotions and creams and body butters every single day bc I love being soft and delicately well scented & every time I put some one I think of that one line in Gone Girl where Amy’s husband is like “and all of her lotioning. it was so annoying.” And I rub the lotion into my body with more vigor. what a damn and mean loser.

In improv class we had to come up with a kinda neutral statement for someone to respond to and one of the guys said to me “hey did you hear they’ve stopped making socks?” and I just lost it. That shit is so funny. Why would they just stop making socks. I wanna explore that world.

experienced the wrath of god at Claire’s

just say you got an infection from the piercing gun and go

this is the only funny response everyone else shut up

twitter is turning into 2013 tumblr

e me a mail

make the attachment a pic of a snail