Rollercoaster, Favorite Ride.

I admire people who choose to smile after all the things they’ve been through.

Picture me, 11 years old Wishing I was dead Feeling my skin slowly turn cold Scratching my skin until I bled Picture me, 12 years old Wishing I could disappear Holding a blade in a shaky hold Wondering why I was so full of fear Picture me, 13 years old Thinking of what I did wrong A handful of pills tight in my hold Unable to think of ways to be strong Picture me, 14 years old Brand new school awaits A new balcony for when I felt bold Ready to jump, but I hesitate Picture me, 15 years old The happiest I’ve ever been But still thinking about the thick rope I could have tied it to the ceiling fan Picture me, 16 years old Ready to die again I suppose I’ve grown fond of it now The feeling of death creeping in