Alexander The Earthling

In order to McFreakin’ obtain, something of equal value must be McFreakin’ lost.

*old man voice* back in my day tik tok was a ke$ha song

Excuse me then

I was at a party last night and this weird nerd guy was screaming and punching the wall whenever he missed at beer pong and I cornered him later and I was like “Hey, can I give you some constructive criticism?” And he was like “Uhh ok.” And I was like “People would like you a lot more if you weren’t going around screaming and punching walls like a fucking creep.” And he got really scared and asked “Are you going to kill me?” And I literally dont understand how he got that from what I said. I think I’m scarier than I realize.

you shoulda killed him just as a power move

“Not this time.”

Your top didn’t top you, you bottomed your top. Use language of empowerment sisters!

He didnt penetrate you. You engulfed him.

They didn’t eat you out. You fed them.

!!!!