She/her. 20s. Here you'll find a mix of video games, writing stuff, and whatever else comes up. Main fandoms are Star Wars, Final Fantasy, Fire Emblem, and Devil May Cry.
I'm Mari, and I've been here on tumblr for over a decade now. Nowadays I mostly post about various Final Fantasy, Fire Emblem, Devil May Cry games, plus some bonus Star Wars, but you'll find a good dose of whatever other games, quotes, etc. pique my interest too.
If you're wondering if I can be found anywhere else or think my name sounds familiar, that's because I go by Mariyekos just about everywhere. This includes my AO3 (and now largely abandoned ffnet account), my Bluesky, my Twitter, and technically Discord, though I'll probably respond better to new messages here. Thanks for stopping by, and feel free to message me/shoot over an ask if you ever want to chat. I can't promise I'll respond right away, but I'll do my best to get to it when I can.
If you're interested in some of my longform posts (meta, lore notes, fave fics, etc), here's a link to to a post compiling some of my favorites. If you want to see my about me, you can click here, or select the ii in my sidebar if on desktop. For mobile users interested in my original posts, my main tags are #erurandomness (everything) and #eruwrites (fic, meta, lore, etc).
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In conversation with multiple posts going around discussing technical literacy and typing skillsā¦
I HAD typing classes: my typing speed is less than 35 Words Per Minute
I did NOT have typing classes: my typing speed is less than 35 WPM
I HAD typing classes: my typing speed is 36-45 WPM
I did NOT have typing classes: my typing speed is 36-45 WPM
I HAD typing classes: my typing speed is 46-55 WPM
I did NOT have typing classes: my typing speed is 46-55 WPM
I HAD typing classes: my typing speed is 56-69 WPM
I did NOT have typing classes: my typing speed is 56-69 WPM
I HAD typing classes: my typing speed is faster than 70 WPM
I did NOT have typing classes: my typing speed is faster than 70 WPM
I'm on mobile/ vanilla extract option
Remaining time: 6 days 13 hours
ā”ļø Take a typing test here (and you need an actual, physical keyboard for this):
The industry-standard benchmark used by employers and typing certifications worldwide.
ā”ļø 'Typing classes' refers to computer skills classes you might have had in school; you can also count games or other related typing training your parents might have had you do.
ā”ļø Across 3 different typing test websites*, the (english language) world average typing speed is 40 WPM.
The Least Intimidating bakery in the village has closed for good so now Iāve got to go to the Intimidating Bakery, itās awful. If you donāt have a PhD in being French I donāt recommend going to that bakery, hereās the humiliating account of the 3 times Iāve visited it so far:
the first time I went in there I pointed at one of those extra-skinny baguettes and said āa flute, pleaseā feeling pretty sure of myself, and the baker said ā⦠thatās a ficelleā (you idiot) (was implied) āa flute is twice as large as a baguette.ā
Thatās insane, first of all, a flute is a skinny instrument. Call your fat baguette a bassoon, ladyāI made some timid remark about how it would make more sense for a flute to be a skinny bread and the baker said, āIn Paris it is. I thought you were from the South?ā
oh, that hurt
I guess Iām from the part of the South thatās so close to Italy the breadās waist size matters less than whether itās got olives in it, but I left the bakery having an existential crisis over whether living in Paris had made me forget my roots
the Least Intimidating Bakery just had normal baguettes vs. seedy baguettes vs. horny baguettes (easy mode, some have seeds, some have horns), while the new bakery has breads that are only different on a molecular levelāthereās a good old loaf and then another, identical loaf called a bastard? google told me a bastard is āhalfway between a baguette and a breadā but denouncing them like āthose are not regulation-sized bastardsā would get me banned from the bakery for life
on my 2nd visit (while I stood in line discreetly googling baguette terminology) there was an English tourist who asked for a baguette while pointing at what was either a rustique or a sesame and I felt a bit worried for them, but the baker just clarified āthis one?ā to waive any responsibility if they found out later it wasnāt a classic baguette, then handed them the bread without educating them in a judgmental tone and I felt envious
I know itās because she thinks the English are beyond saving but still it made me want to come back with a fake moustache and an English accent so I wouldnāt be expected to play bakery on expert mode just because Iām French. I asked for a pastry this time and the baker asked āno bread with that?ā which felt cruel, like she wanted me to sprinkle myself with ashes and admit out loud that my level of bread proficiency isnāt as advanced as I once believed it was
The third time I went, I had lost all self-confidence and I hesitantly pointed at a bread and said āIād like this, uhāwhat is it called?ā and the baker looked at me in disbelief and said āThatās a baguette.ā
God.
for the record, if that stupid bread had been flanked by a skinny bread (ficelle) and a fat one (flute) then yeah of course I would have known to call it a baguette, but in the absence of reference points I now felt lost and scared of being called a Parisian again
itās hard to express the depth of my suffering so Iāll just let the facts speak for themselves: this morning a French person (me) stood in a French bakery in France surrounded by French people and pointed at a baguette and said āwhat is this calledā
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having a job is very weird bcos by and large your coworkers will be a variety of ages and you will not all be at the same stage of life. your coworker will be like, well Iām off home to spend time with my husband & child, what are you going to do with your evening? and youāre like, well, I plan on playing Rollercoaster Tycoon for as much as it as possible
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Lately I've been pretty...I don't know how to describe it. Bummed? Bored? Stagnant? On the slightly more negative side of not exactly content? Just existing.
And I think a big chunk of the problem is that for a long while, I've wanted to "be," not "do." I want to be smart. I want to be accomplished. I want to be strong. I want to be good at other languages. So on and so forth. But to get there I have to pass through stages of discomfort in which I am forced to acknowledge that I am not any of those things right nowāat least, not to the degree that I want to beāand that kills my motivation. I want to be smart, but I don't feel the desire/urge to do the things that get me there. Everything is about the destination. The journey is unpleasant and thus the "do"ing is hard.
And the thing isāit shouldn't be unpleasant!!! So many of these things I like doing in theory, or in isolation! I like working out. I like reading. I like studying. So on and so forth. But when I'm reading with the knowledge that I feel dumb and I'm trying to fix that, I can't help but fixate on that negative feeling and it sucks the enjoyment out of it. What I once liked because itself upsetting because I'm not where I want to be.
Going back to an earlier point: I suppose it isn't exactly right to say I don't feel a desire to do the things that get me there. I do want to do those things that get me there. But I'm so crippled by the pain of acknowledging I'm so far behind where I want to be that for all thar desire, there is an equal if not greater sense of shame that fights against it. And so I'm left paralyzed because acknowledging it hurts so to keep from hurting, I just. Don't act.
Not that it stops me from feeling dumb or weak or any of those things. But it feels better when I'm just lying here because when I do something I want to do and feel that way, it taints it, and I don't want to taint it.
I would just...like to feel confident in myself again. I'd like to have something I'm looking forward to *doing* in my life. Not just an end state, but a process I enjoy. Because right now, I'm not enjoying the process. I survive the day to day. If I died in some freak accident tomorrow, I wouldn't reallt be able to say I had a worthwhile life. Not in the past several years. And I think that's horrible.
I need something to look forward to. I need something to do. I need some way of pushing off the guilt and anxiety. I'm just tired man. I want a reason to look forward to life and not just filler that keeps me trucking out of an obligation to make it to the next day. Ahhh.
"Six weeks into the term, I assigned my rhetoric and writing students a 20-page article. It was the same length I had assigned for five years and the same length I had read without complaint as an undergraduate a decade ago. Not one student finished it.
When I asked why, a student answered honestly: It was too long, and she kept losing track of what the paper was about. This was not a remedial class: These were students who had cleared the admissions process and written essays good enough to get them here. Yet a routine academic reading assignment had defeated them.
Every generation of professors has complained that their students cannot read. The lament is usually overblown, but data have caught up to anecdote, and what I am seeing in my classroom is no longer a hunch. There is a measurable, generational collapse in sustained reading and writing, and the academy is responding to it with improvisation and exhaustion rather than the structural overhaul it requires.
In February 2024, Adam Kotsko, who teaches in the Shimer Great Books School at North Central College, wrote in Slate that students who once handled 30 pages of reading per class meeting now seem āintimidated by anything over 10 pages and seem to walk away from readings of as little as 20 pages with no real understanding.ā Crucially, he added that this is ānot a matter of laziness on the part of the studentsā but of underlying skills they were never given a chance to build.
The Chronicle of Higher Educationās 2024 investigation found the same pattern across institutions as different as the Stevens Institute of Technology and Wellesley College, where the average SAT exceeds 1400. Nicholaus Gutierrez, an assistant professor at Wellesley, told The Chronicle that the baseline for what students consider a reasonable amount of work has dropped so noticeably that he has cut his readings accordingly; a 750-word essay now strikes many students as long. At Stevens, the science and technology studies associate professor Theresa MacPhail described following the mantra of āmeet your students where they areā for so long that she has begun to feel ālike a cruise director organizing games of shuffleboard.ā
Worse, the national data tell the same story in colder language. On the 2011 National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) writing assessment, which is the most recent comprehensive writing benchmark, only 24 percent of 12th graders reached the Proficient level, and just 3 percent reached Advanced; another 21 percent scored below Basic. The reading side of the ledger is worse, and getting worse fast: The 2024 NAEP results released in September 2025 show 12th-grade reading scores at the lowest level recorded since the assessment began in 1992. Thirty-two percent of 12th graders now score below NAEP Basic in reading, meaning that, in the assessmentās own language, they likely ācannot draw general conclusions based on concepts presented explicitly in a text.ā And yet more than half of these same seniors reported being accepted to a four-year college. That last sentence is the whole problem in one line: We are admitting a cohort that cannot read at a college level and are pretending otherwise.
Why is this happening? One reason, of course, is smartphones.
I came into teaching as a skeptic of the anti-smartphone argument: I had a phone in my pocket throughout high school and college in the 2010s, and I read long books anyway. I now think I was wrong, because the neuroscience has caught up. In a 2017 paper, Adrian F. Ward and colleagues at the University of Texas at Austinās McCombs School of Business showed that the mere presence of a participantās smartphone ā whether that be face down, powered off, untouched, or across the desk out of vision ā measurably reduces available working memory and fluid intelligence on cognitive tests, with the largest effects on the most phone-dependent users. A 2022 study by Motoyasu Honma and colleagues at Japanās Showa University used near-infrared spectroscopy to compare reading on a smartphone with reading the same passage on paper, and found that smartphone reading produced overactivity in the prefrontal cortex, suppressed sigh generation, and led to general lower comprehension scores; the authors argued that the sigh inhibition and prefrontal overload were causally linked to the comprehension decline.
So when a student tells me they ākept losing trackā of a 20-page article, I have to acknowledge that they may be describing a measurable neurological condition. The neural pathways that support sustained attention are built by use, and they atrophy without it. Your body is a use-it-or-lose-it system, and the brain is no exception.
Another reason for the decline in student reading capability is increasing reliance on generative AI. In June 2025, Nataliya Kosmyna and colleagues at the MIT Media Lab released a preprint titled āYour Brain on ChatGPT.ā They divided 54 participants into three groups writing SAT-style essays ā one using ChatGPT, the second group using a search engine, the last group using nothing ā and monitored brain activity with a 32-channel EEG. The ChatGPT group showed the lowest neural connectivity of the three, with up to 55 percent reduced connectivity compared with the brain-only group, and āconsistently underperformed at neural, linguistic, and behavioral levels.ā Eighty-three percent of LLM users could not quote a single line from essays they had written minutes earlier. When the LLM group was forced to write without AI in a follow-up session, their brain activity did not bounce back to baseline; the researchers coined the term ācognitive debtā for the lingering deficit.
This is the first neurophysiological evidence that early reliance on LLMs measurably alters the brainās engagement with writing tasks, and it is consistent with what those of us in front of classrooms are watching happen in real time. When I assign analysis, I am not trying to extract a polished product; I am trying to put the studentās mind through resistance in order to make it stronger. Offloading the struggle to a chatbot does not āfree students up for higher-order work.ā It deprives them of building the strength to do any substantial cognitive work at all.
There is a final factor that is contributing to this decline in reading skills, and that is that the students arriving in my classroom today are the first cohort to have experienced Common Core-influenced reading instruction across the entirety of their Kā12 schooling. Whatever the standardsā original intent, the on-the-ground implementation in many districts replaced sustained reading with the practice of pulling āevidenceā from disconnected short passages, the same format used on the standardized tests that increasingly determine school funding. The education scholar Natalie Wexler, among others, has documented this pivot in detail: Students drilled on āfinding the main ideaā in two-paragraph excerpts never build the stamina or background knowledge that longform reading requires. The pandemic then added fuel to a fire that was already burning. NAEP scores for 13-year-olds dropped sharply in 2022 and have not recovered. A 2023 EdWeek survey found that 24 percent of secondary-school administrators described pandemic learning loss in English and language arts as āsevere or very severe.ā
In July 2025, the journalist Mary Harrington argued in The New York Times that āthinking is becoming a luxury good.ā The ability to read deeply and reason at length is fragmenting along class lines as ultra-processed digital media replaces text in everyday life, much as ultra-processed food has replaced cooking. Her longer treatment of the subject in First Things makes the more provocative case that we are witnessing the end of print culture itself, and with it the end of the cognitive substrate on which modern liberal democracy was built.
I see this stratification in the classroom and on the page every week. My students from districts that protected sustained reading through small class sizes, strict phone policies, and faculty who refused to teach to the test all arrive with their attention relatively intact. My students from districts that surrendered to devices and standardized testing arrive cognitively winded. A democracy that requires a literate electorate is now training one fraction of that electorate out of literacy while marketing to the other a ādeep workā lifestyle as a luxury good. The students who cannot read a 20-page article today are the voters who will not be able to read a bill, or the jurors who cannot follow a closing argument, tomorrow.
I do what I can in my own classroom to address the problems. I break 20-page articles into two halves and assign the first half with explicit analytical tasks. I require exploratory writing before formal drafts. I model (visibly, on the board) how to track an argument across pages or distinguish a sourceās claim from my own analysis. I make structured peer review explicit, because the workshop format I used to take for granted now collapses into āthis is goodā and āmaybe add more detailsā the moment I step back.
But I want to be plain about the limits of what an individual instructor can do, and all of these solutions have costs. Scaffolding a 20-page article into halves compromises the integrity of the argument I am asking students to engage, just as modeling note-taking in a credit-bearing rhetoric course is using a college slot to teach a middle-school skill. None of the syllabi I teach are designed to deliver this type of cognitive rehabilitation, and pretending otherwise has produced credential inflation. We cannot keep conferring degrees on students who cannot do what the degree is supposed to certify.
Iām afraid I donāt have answers. I do, however, have some questions that may point us in the right direction. If higher education is going to respond to the reading crisis as a structural problem rather than a private burden carried by composition instructors and adjuncts, it has to stop avoiding the following questions: If a majority of incoming students cannot read at a level the curriculum requires, are we admitting students we cannot serve, or offering a curriculum we cannot provide?
Why are first-year writing and reading-intensive general-education courses still the most adjunctified, lowest-paid, highest-load corner of the university, at the precise moment when their work has become the most important work the institution does? What is the responsible institutional response for AI usage: Is it a syllabus statement, or a sequencing principle that requires students to demonstrate the cognitive work themselves before AI assistance is permitted?
Why are most college classrooms still phone-permissive by default? Kā12 districts from Florida to California are now banning phones bell to bell; higher education has somehow lagged behind the public schools. Universities benefit from a pipeline they did not build and refuse to repair. What would it mean for a university system to invest seriously in the reading instruction happening in the high schools that feed it, rather than treating remediation as something to be quietly outsourced to first-year composition instructors?
The thing I am no longer willing to do is pretend this is a temporary adjustment period, or that āstudents will adapt.ā They will not adapt on their own. The conditions that produced this collapse are still in place: the phones, the algorithmic feeds, the test-prep excerpts, staffing models that load the reading-intensive work onto the most precarious faculty, and now the chatbots that finish studentsā sentences before theyāve even begun to think of them. If we want literate citizens, we will have to rebuild the conditions for literacy deliberately, against the grain of every incentive currently pointed the other way. I know the academy has the will to do that. It also has the obligation."
ā Tyler Jagt, 1 June 2026, "My Students Canāt Read"
The generational collapse in literacy is measurable, persistent, and likely to get worse.
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really love a corruption arc where the character is trying way too hard to make it work but they're in over their head and it's uncomfortable and embarrassing and they're swallowing their own puke every time they do something awful and damp with sweat and trembling but insistent that they can do this, they want it, they're not a child, but it's like they're playing dressup in clothes that are too big for them and trying to convince their own reflection in the mirror that they fit and it's just no fun to watch at all
+ then they find inside them a capacity for cruelty far more upsettingly vicious than anyone could have imagined and decide that because they enjoy how unafraid it makes them feel for the first time in as long as they can remember it must have been their true nature all along instead of something that had to be starved in the dark until it grew desperate enough to claw its way out šāāļø