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"oooh processed meats are the same level of carcinogen as cigarettes now you need to stop eating hot dogs and spam" shut the fuck up bitch I'll smoke a cigarette right now too

one of the funnier incidents of me assuming someone knew a meme irl was when a new coworker was talking about some woman who got arrested for tax fraud and I went "God forbid women do anything" and he got scared and thought I was accusing him of being sexist, so he started apologizing and saying how tax fraud isn't even bad, actually.

people have this tendency to believe that fandom discourse exists because people in fandoms are Stupid Nerdy Losers, but in fact fandom discourse exists because anytime you get a group of more than 100 people together, they will start creating interpersonal bullshit. fandom is not special in this regard

There is sports discourse. There is yarn discourse. There is food discourse. There is academic discourse (dear sweet god is there academic discourse). If there are people out there collecting brass buttons specifically from 1921, they are going to have discourse about which buttons are trash and whether Person A cheated person B. To be human is to engage in pointless wankery sometimes.

when you think about it, Chastity is a hilarious baby name

I suppose it’s aspirational in a sense. “Go, child; achieve what we could not.”

If I had a diner, the coffee would be 50¢ a cup. Just 50¢. Always 50¢, price never changes, it’s like the Costco hotdog. But the coffee is bad. Really bad, so bad, lukewarm, watery, medium roast SWILL. But it’s so cheap you feel like you want to finish your cup and buy another because wow, it’s so affordable. You drive by and you think ‘Hey, that’s the place with the cheap coffee, I need to go back there.’ having totally forgotten the coffee is bad, you fall for it again. Why would I do this? Because I’m evil.

What they don’t tell you about getting into bird watching is that once you get into it, you do not get to decide when you bird watch. You can be on the beach of some distant tropical country with nothing planned except relaxing. But then you see a Common Fluttering Nut Buster and you’re like fuckkkkkkkk holy shit guys the Common Fluttering Nut Buster is not supposed to live this far west holy shitttttttttt

Oh so you'd rather use eugenics on animals and abuse them instead? 🙄

i was about to get violent then i saw the handle im crying

dry humping in its specificity as a term implies the existence of wet humping