margalita

anastasia groaned putting her head against the hot window. the divorce. she refused to talk about it with any her family, or really anyone in general. anastasia had never met her father, but what she called 'mom no.2' had raised her like a father. she hadn't really understood why her mothers divorced, she'd never heard an argument come out their mouths. but it broke anastasia more than she would like to admit. and moving to hawkins indiana wasn't going to help her. she begged her mom to stay in the city, to even move to only another suburb. but her mother was set in stone, and the pair were headed to hawkins.

it was a fairly short ride, pulling into a driveway of a two-story house after two hours. even anastasia couldn't deny the house was nice, and it seemed to be in a nice area. but it wasn't her small townhouse crammed in between two other townhouses.

"our new home sweet home! uncle finn should be here within the next hour to help get boxes into the house. do you want me to show you your room?" her mom asked kindly as possible, she knew the change wasn't wanted or easy for her daughter.

"sure." anastasia said as her grabbed her backpack and followed her mom into the house.

the living room was painted beige with a stone fireplace in the wall, with a small bar opening the room to the kitchen. it was a lot more spacious than her old house. she followed her mom up the stairs as her mom opened the first door on the left side. it was a decently sized room with three windows letting in natural light. two doors were on the other wall, one leading to a closet and the other to a bathroom.

it was really nice. anastasia almost questioned her mother for being able to find and afford a place like this but decided it wasn't the time.

"this is fucking amazing mom, where's your room?" anastasia gasped.

"language, it's downstairs. there's another bedroom upstairs but i'd figure unless you wanted some more space it could just be an office."

the two girls spent the rest of the day bringing boxes in and unpacking as much as they could, with her uncle coming by for a bit to help them. anastasia hadn't known her uncle very well, but figured him being a policeman could help her in the future. it also slightly scared the shit out of her. the three finally took a break to eat dinner.

"so kid, you thinking about a job this summer?" finn rusen, her uncle, asked her.

"uh, i mean probably. give me something to do until school starts. haven't thought about it though." anastasia replied as best she could, the question catching her off guard.

she hadn't thought about life outside her house in hawkins at all. she really didn't want to get a job, but finn rusen wasn't exactly the person you said no to.

"there's starcourt mall down the road from here, just opened. bet they need some workers. open until nine, could give you a ride tonight." your uncle told you as he took a bite of the KFC mashed potatoes.

"okay sure, mom you could get the silverware from there probably?" anastasia said, not really wanting to go to this mall alone. or at all.

"yeah that sounds great! you can go ahead and get ready stas, i'll clean it up."

anastasia nearly sprinted away from the table after that sentence to her room. she changed into a pair of loose jeans that were a bit too big and kept her plain black shirt on. she hadn't unpacked all her clothes yet and didn't want to search through boxes. she put on her black, dirty converse and sighed as she stared into the mirror.

anastasia could tell that this town was sad, it had only been less than a day here but it seemed like the sun wouldn't ever come out in hawkins. sure the sun in chicago wasn't seen during the winter months of november and april; but hawkins radiated almost an evil energy that she couldn't pinpoint. it wasn't just an overcast sky.

"stas! you ready kid?" her uncle called from downstairs, snapping her out of her thoughts. she ran down the stairs and followed her family outside into the car.

"this mall is nice! it's definitely new! they have a jc penny stassie!" her mom smiled at her from the front seat, making anastasia's lips twitch up at her mother's excitement.

anastasia was not excited though after her uncle and mother had left her to go 'explore' places. there wasn't awfully much she wanted to explore. she found a hot topic and put in an application, and even applied at the jc penny. she continued to walk around aimlessly until anastasia's head turned when she heard a voice not yelling, but sassily talking to someone.

"you cant come here and try every flavor, everyday!" a red haired girl who was around her age told a group of younger girls. she looked at the sign that sat in front of her.

'Scoops Ahoy! Now Hiring!'

nothing about the ice cream shop seemed intriguing expect the girl who had shooed away the group of kids. so anastasia walked up to the counter and smiled at a very bored looking worker.

"hi, my name is stas!"

"alright stas, what can i get for you?" the worker asked with zero enthusiasm.

"oh uh, i'm here to apply for a job actually?" which put a smile on the girls face.

"shit okay! here, just fill this out over at one of the tables and hand it back to either me or steve, whoever's at the counter. we're understaffed so it's guaranteed."

"and your name is?" anastasia asked the girl.

"robin buckley." she smiled as anastasia turned around to fill out the application.

anastasia tried to fill it out as quickly as possible, looking at the sticky note that held her new address and number. it had only been about ten minutes but robin had been replaced by a boy with longer brown hair. she had almost missed robin in this moment, and even stalled another few minutes before getting up. she had figured it was steve, who robin had mentioned earlier. she finally had gotten up once the pair of girls he was talking to had left .

"hey, robin told me to leave this with whoever was at the counter so." anastasia told steve as she slide the paper on the counter.

"oh, okay? do you go to hawkins high? never seen you before." he asked anastasia.

"uh, im not sure? i just moved here literally today." she laughed.

"shit! okay, i'm steve harrington, nice to meet you." the boy smiled at her.

"i'm stas rusen, i'll see you around." anastasia waved as she headed out of the small shop.

anastasia could tell whoever steve was, he was known around hawkins. a group of girls smiled and waved at the boy as they walked past the shop while he was already in conversation with another group. robin seemed much more up to her speed.

you seemed nice to me, but it was like a façade. i wasn't sure how to feel about you just yet. but i didn't think i liked you.

she decided to purely walk around the mall, looking in a few stores until another girl her age walked up to her. she was getting tired of talking to people she didn't know; she really wanted to go home.

"who are you?" the girl asked her without hesitation, but not necessarily rudely.

"uh stas rusen? and you are?"

"like as in finn rusen? i didn't know he had a daughter! why have i not seen you at hawkins?"

"no no, he has a sister. i'm his niece. my mom and i just moved here from chicago." anastasia said, feeling awfully uncomfortable about telling people who she was. it wasn't a bad thing, but it became quickly obvious that this was a town everyone knew each other in. and that wasn't exactly up anastasia's alley.

"oh okay, that like totally makes more sense. you know you should come to my party this weekend. my parents like aren't gonna be home and so many people are gonna be there!" the girl told her ecstatically.

"i'm sorry, what's your name?"

"tina, here just call my number before friday to let me know if you're coming. you seem totally cute!" she handed her a small note with a number on it before she turned away.

all anastasia could think about was how weird and open everyone seemed to be here. she missed chicago especially right now, no one talked to anyone unless they absolutely had to. and it was a lot easier to ignore the people who tried to talk.

anastasia had found her mother and uncle still in home goods checking out. her uncle looked extremely unhappy while holding a few large bags in his hands.

the trip headed back to anastasia and her mothers new house, giving a quick goodbye to her uncle who was going back to his place.

"so did you find anything? anywhere catch your eye?" her mother asked her while the pair unpacked the home goods bags.

"i mean, i guess. this one place, scoops ahoy, seems like it has cool people to work with. the girl told me they're understaffed so i'm guaranteed to get the job."

"that's great stassie! any boys there?" her mom smiled while nudging her shoulder.

"not any good enough for me" anastasia laughed; her mind thinking back to steve for a moment.

"you're gonna have a good year stas, don't let any of this hold you back." her mom said more soft-spoken.

"i know, it just kind of sucks you know."

"yeah i do, go get some sleep you've had a long day. i love you."

"i love you too mom" anastasia said while hugging her before heading upstairs into her room.

the movers had moved her furniture into her room, which she was incredibly thankful to lie on her bed. she stared at the plain walls except for a record which was her favorite album, rio by duran duran. she smiled at it.

anastasia thought back to her short, but what felt long, hours at the mall. her conversation with robin, tina, and steve flashing through her mind.

she groaned at the thought of being in hawkins for the foreseeable future, life was anything but the same here. she missed her old friends, her old house, her old school, her other mom. she had gotten up and stood above her phone; ready to dial her other mother before she heard an engine run down the road.

anastasia's curiosity led her to one of her windows and watched the car pull into a driveway at the end of the cul-de-sac. it was a red bmw 733i, she could recognize it anywhere. it was the same model as her ex-boyfriends old car. anastasia's mouth slightly gaped as she watched a familiar boy get out of the car in a familiar uniform.

"how's harry doing? it feels you guys are attached at the hip." aria asked you in the dimly lit restaurant.

"he's good! working on music as always." you said doing your best to ignore the last part of her sentence.

"did you guys- you know… ever date?" aria warily asked.

"no, just super good friends. we've been with each other through a lot." you lied.

you tried to avoid bringing up harry with aria. you couldn't have been more flattered to say you've slept with harry but you oddly felt guilty about it when it came to aria.

"ohh, yeah you guys are always together. i was just wondering. i mean- just the last month you've not been away from him."

you dropped your eyes down to your lap feeling your breath hitch, why were you so nervous over something that wasn't happening?

"he's just going through stuff and i help him write music, nothing more." you lied again, beginning to bounce your leg under the table.

"i just don't wanna continue with this if it's not gonna go anywhere due to him!" aria said, raising her voice slightly at the end.

"i'm telling you what happened!"

"no you're not! remember a month ago whenever i tried walking into your room, the door was locked and you said to give you a minute? it's not hard to see a black escalade pulling out!" aria continued to rant.

"but we aren't dating and never have! i've known you two months and if we aren't dating it doesn't matter!" you whispered yelled trying to defend yourself.

"so absolutely none of this meant anything to you? go have fun with your shitty womanizing bestfriend y/n. you're fucking hilarious if you think you'd be a thing." aria sarcastically said as she left $40 on the table and left the restaurant.

--

mitch locked harry's door as quietly as he could, harry had finally fallen asleep. mitch cursed himself in the head when he turned around and saw your car pulling in. he started to talk before you interrupted him.

"he just fell a-"

"i need to talk to him, seriously mitch." you pleaded.

mitch really didn't want to let you in, worried that it wouldn't end well and he'd be back here tomorrow comforting harry again. but he trusted you and unlocked the door; giving you an eye roll as you went inside.

you nearly sprinted up the stairs through harry's large, dark house and took a deep breath as you stood in front of his closed door. you cracked it open and looked at harry, who couldn't have looked more peaceful with his eyes shut and mouth slightly opened.

you opened the door some more and walked in, waking up harry in the process.

"y/n? why are you here?" he whispered, not even sure if it was actually you standing there.

"i'm sorry i just needed to talk to you. i can leave though-"

"no it's fine, what's going on? are you okay?" harry asked, sitting up in his bed.

"yes but i just need the fucking talk to you about this and us." you quickly said, bouncing your leg once again as harry took your hand into his.

"what do you mean 'us'?"

"i like you so much more than this stupid benefits thing we have going on and i thought i could get away with it and just ignore those emotions but i can't anymore!" you said, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"i don't wanna care about those people i just want it to you and i." you whispered.

"you wouldn't believe how long i've been waiting to hear you say that." harry said, looking you dead in the eyes still holding onto your hand.

"i have a slight idea i think." you smiled at him.

"did everything go okay tonight with aria though? something else is bothering you."

"she definitely won't be around to say the least." you grumbled.

"i could make you feel better than she could've anyways." harry smirked causing your cheeks to heat up.

"you should prove that again real quick."

"you good there?" colby asked you; giving you his hand to help you up.

"yeah thank you, we should get the ice skates!" you told him.

the group agreed, all confessing that they had never properly ice skated putting a smile on your face. they hadn't had a clue that you figure skated for years.

everyone carefully, well most, carefully went on the ice. you easily glided past elton and quickly skated across the rink earning a few dropped jaws.

"you can fucking ice skate?" corey asked in awe as you came back towards the stumbling group.

"did it throughout all of middle and highschool."

"god damn i didn't even know that!" colby said.

you reached your arms out towards colby for him to grab onto as you slowly began to glide each other on the ice; only for him to slip and nearly take you down with him.

"okay you cant just not move your feet at all, think about it like roller skating." you said laughing, helping him back up.

"funny enough i cant roller skate either babe."

you rolled your eyes once again grabbing onto colby's arms, gliding across the ice even slower than the first time. he had almost slipped but managed to make it across the ice with you.

"okay i'd really prefer if this wasn't private lessons, my turn with y/n!" elton yelled from across the rink, making you skate back towards the group who had hardly moved.

"okay okay- just think about it like roller skating! just use one foot at a time to help push your body across." you tried to explain to the group as colby has just made it back over.

nearly immediately as the words came out of your mouth, they all attempted to skate on the ice, but only sam and corey falling this time around. andrea had gotten the hang of being able to move around fairly quickly.

you gleamed are the group as they all got the hang of your once beloved sport. you kept your eyes on colby though, who was holding hands with sam as they ridiculously tried to speed across the entire rink. he caught your eyes and smiled at you, only to distract him and cause him and sam to fall on top of each other.

"who wants to see what's in the bag!" corey yelled to the group, making everyone gather around him.

everyone broke out in laughter as he pulled out figure skating dresses for everyone to wear. even more laugher occurred once the boys had put them on over their clothes.

you grabbed colby's hand once he put on the dress and led him towards the middle of the rink.

"do you wanna learn a trick or two new found figure skater?" you teased him

"uh- yeah!"

you let go of his hand as you skated backwards a few feet to preform a small jump and twirl, which was truly simple but everyone else looked in awe. especially colby, it was like you you were the only one in the room to him. watching you smile and laugh with his friends made his thoughts more scattered than he realized.

"colby? admiring my skills?" you said to him, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"you're a fucking gem." colby laughed, truly admiring you despite the unmatched dress that tightly wrapped your coat.

"okay no- you all can easily do a twist on skates. just like how you turn but use a little more body force." you slightly yelled to the whole group.

elton, corey, and corbin all held hands as the practiced with eachother; sam and andrea doing the same. you turned back towards colby to grab his hands and help him learn.

it was a weird feeling you had with colby tonight, but you knew it it wasn't bad. it just always felt platonic; which made you feel hopeless. but you had known colby well enough to notice his lips tug upwards when you caught his eyes; which filled your stomach with butterflies.

after a fall and many catches, colby had gotten the hang of being able to twirl on skates along with andrea and corbin. you stepped out of the rink to sit down for a few seconds, watching your friends push and play with each other.

"you good?" colby asked, sitting down next to you.

"yeah! i just needed to sit down before my legs turn into jelly. are you okay?"

"i'll wake up with a few bruises to say the least. you're amazing on ice though, i cant believe i had no idea you could skate."

"its just something that's hardly brought up. you're all doing insanely good though!" you said, playing with the laces of your skates looking down.

"is there something you want to say?" colby asked straightforwardly, noticing the tension was mutual.

"no it's just- i don't know." you groaned, letting a short silence take place.

colby bounced his leg as you played with your skates, he looked down at you and felt a way he hadn't before. despite the awkward tension between you both, he couldn't have been more comfortable.

"we should go back out there, it's almost three in the morning we should probably leave soon." you spoke, standing up and walking back towards the rink.

you ignored the lingering thoughts in your head as everyone continued to race around and play. you and andrea chased around the boys in the bumper cars attempting to knock them over, only getting corey.

"we should head out, we don't know what time these people come to open." corey said, looking at his phone to see the time at four in the morning.

everyone was fairly tired and agreed, helping put everything they took out back and turning off the lights. corbin had left immediately, saying his goodbye. the boys recorded the outro for their video and you hugged corey, andrea, elton, and sam goodbye.

you and colby walked over to his car, as you had rode with him on the way there. he opened the door for you before getting in the car himself.

"you know you can talk to me about anything, just tell me what's in your head." colby spoke up as he drove away.

"it's just really confusing, i don't even know."

"did one of them say something to you? you seemed good majority of the night." colby pushed.

"no, no! it's just- fuck. it's you!" you confessed.

"what do you mean?"

"there's no possible way you're being for real. i've just felt like that for so long we've been friends and have never crossed that line but lately it's not the same." you rambled.

"it's not the same? do you not want to be friends?" he asked, his stomach dropping.

"no- fuck! i just like you and your stupid videos and helping you plan and edit for hours. having to put away the groceries into extremely specific spots, staying up until midnight to listen to a album! hearing you tell me about the next haunted place and all of its history and the way you smile at me! absolutely everything about you makes me insane and love you. no" you blurted out, putting your hand to you mouth after realizing everything you had said.

colby's jaw was slightly ajar at your confession. four hours ago you were teaching him how to ice skate and now you were confessing your feelings for him.

"are you serious?" colby asked.

"yes! as fuck!"

colby started speeding without even realizing that matched both of your heartbeats. the pressure of the speed and silence filled you from head to toe with anxiety.

"it's fine if you don't feel that way- it's just sometimes-"

"no i do, i'm sorry i'm just in pure shock. i don't think i've ever not liked you y/n." colby interrupted.

you started laughing, everything about it felt lucid.

looking at colby driving in this moment was a dream, him grinning but his face still tense. he ran a hand through his hair and looked over at you; causing your heart to skip a beat. the rush of adrenaline as the car reached eighty mph.

"i think i'm in love with you if anything." colby laughed.

"this took way too fucking long to happen"

"yeah well now i have fucking glitter everywhere! you've always gotta do something don't you!"

"what do i 'always' do? what are you even talking about right now?" you asked, you were genuinely confused more so upset by harry's outburst.

"fuck something up! you know what don't even bother coming to the fucking show tonight. don't want you to fuck something else up. now if you wouldn't mind, i'm gonna go shower to get this shit off!" harry shouted, making your stomach drop as he told you to not come to his show.

you always went to his shows.

he stormed off into the bathroom, locking the door. you stood there like a deer in headlights for almost three minutes. you cleaned up the glitter best you could before heading back over to your own apartment; thankful new york was your home in this moment.

you called your best friend once you got in the car; you knew you were about to profusely sob if you didn't.

"hello? y/n?"

"hey theo, are you doing anything right now?" you asked him, tears filling your eyes as you pulled out of the hotel.

"uh- no. why is everything okay? you sound sad."

"harry told me not to come to his fucking show tonight over the stupidest thing. do you want to come over please?"

"yeah of course! i'll head there now, is that good?"

"i'm like twenty minutes away so we'll meet around the same time. see you."

you hung up before he could say goodbye, wanting to be in your own silence. theo was your best friend since highschool, being the one you originally lived with when you moved to new york at first. he was always there for you, and you did the same for him.

you and theo had never dated, and neither of you ever crossed that line. yet harry hated him, it pissed him off when you were around him. it was even worse the time you brought him to one of harry's shows.

you pulled up to your apartments and see through waiting outside your door on the steps. he stands up and hugs you immediately taking note of your red, puffy face.

"hey it's good let's go inside." he told you as he separated the hug letting you unlock the door.

you groan loudly as you sit down on the couch looking at your best friend who sat down next to you.

"i don't even know what happened! i accidentally bumped into him and dropped fine glitter everywhere and he got pissed off!" you explained

"maybe he just was having one of those days, we should take your mind off him just for the night. you need a harry-free night anyways!" theo told you, trying to amp you up and distract you.

"you know what? you're totally fucking right, it's been forever since it was just you and i bar hopping!"

"there you go, how about i'll go back and shower and shit and i'll pick you up at 7?" he asked you.

"okay! see you soon!" you agreed; giving him another hug before he left your apartment.

you took a shower yourself, having to get glitter of yourself you didn't even realize you had on. you applied some concealer under your eyes followed by eyeshadow primer. you proceeded to paint your eyes with a bright red look, complimenting your skin tone. you even had the time to paint your fingernails a matching red.

you spent the last twenty minutes you had picking out something to wear, you couldn't decide until you pulled a pair of red flare pants. you picked a simple white crop top and white platforms to complete the look.

you got ready just a few minutes before seven, with theo being on right on time. he wore a simple white button down, slightly unbuttoned of course, with jeans. you opened the door before he could even knock, just wanting to go out already.

you both walked to your guys favorite bar, you spent your 21st there and have always gone there together whenever you were in town. it was a small little dive bar in a basement, but it was comfortable. the people treated you normally and it was never very crowded.

--

harry styles was freaking out.

you weren't anywhere to be seen at his show, and no one had checked you in. he didn't realize you actually weren't gonna come to his show, and wanted to punch himself for telling you that.

he tried ringing your phone with only ten minutes before he had to be onstage, but you didn't pick up. he proceeded to try texting you a few times.

"can you please call?"

"i didn't mean what i said to you. i'm sorry"

"just text me back soon please."

harry tried to call you one last time before he had to be transported under the stage. you didn't pick up, leaving harry styles very sad despite the roaring crowd that was around him.

--

it was nearly ten at night before you looked at your phone and acknowledged the world outside of you. you looked at harry's now multiple texts and missed calls, not feeling too guilty about missing his show.

you were relaxed for once, not worried about absolutely anything. you and theo were out for almost three hours; while it started out a chill night you were both now a lost count of drinks in.

while you were out, harry came back to your apartment. he knocked on the door that held him between the empty apartment.

"fucking hell" harry mumbled to himself and he continued to knock and pulled out his phone to see if you had texted him back.

he had almost stood there for ten minutes before he took an extra key he had to your apartment and opened the door himself. he was stressed out, and worried about you.

harry looks around the dark apartment, turning on a few lights to reveal your missing presence. now harry was really worried.

he noticed a familiar red hoodie laying on your sofa, none others than your best friends. he took it in his hands as he audibly groaned loudly. not only was harry worried, he was now slightly pissed off. you ditched him and his show for wherever you were with theo.

so he called theo.

"hey man!" theo picked up, slurring his words. hearing his drunk voice only made harry's anxiety worsen.

"hey, is y/n with you? haven't heard from her in hours."

"yeah, i just don't think that's a good idea right now man."

"is she with you right now?"

"she's in the bathroom right now, probably throwing up." theo said, making harry pissed off as he talked to him. the boy was your best friend, but did a shit job at being one.

"and you didn't think to check on her? where are you guys, i'm picking her up."

"no man i really don't think that's a good idea right now."

"theo. tell me where you and my girlfriend are."

"the charhouse off of 83rd jesus fuck!"

harry hung up the phone before anything else could be said. taking the red hoodie with him out the door, throwing it out once he got downstairs.

he speeded to the dive bar you were at, it wasn't a far drive whatsoever but harry didn't want to try and walk you back. he didn't even know if you'd get in his car.

harry walked into the bar, noticing theo talking to a younger group of women at the bar. he rolled his eyes as he walked over, a few of the girls gasping at the sight of harry styles.

"where is she?" harry immediately asked theo, not wasting time.

"i dont fucking know! in the bathroom!"

harry took every piece of patience he had left to not deck theo in the face, although the thought was so enjoyable. he walked away from the bar and towards the bathrooms. he was really hoping you were in the bathroom, because he just walked into the womens bathrooms.

you gasped at the sight of a male walking in, and then even more at the sight of the man being harry.

harry caught sight of your red, teary, drunken face and immediately let all of his emotions turn into guilt.

"why are you here?" you both said at the same time, harry's tone being of concern and your tone being of confusion.

"i was worried as fuck about you! no show at my concert, no texts back, not at your apartment, still didn't text me back!" harry talked first, slightly ranting more than he wanted too.

"i'm right here! you can go home now!" you yelled at him, cracking your voice due to your tears.

"no no, not without you. come on it's nearly eleven at night and your obviously not in a state to be out at a bar right now."

"i'm fine, i don't need you up my ass! or anyone for that matter!" you yelled again, stumbling for your lost balance as harry grabbed your arms.

"y/n. you can hardly walk right now love. please just let me take you home."

you began to cry harder than before. as pissed off as you both were you looked at each other with pure love. you just wished today could've restarted. harry just wanted you to be safe.

harry hugged you as you drunkenly cried into his arms, rubbing your back in circles and letting the music and sobs become a new silence.

"it's okay, just let me take you home." harry whispered, pleading at this point.

you nodded in his arms, separating the hug. he wrapped an arm around you and helped you walk out of the bar. you made eye contact with theo who was still surrounded by the younger girls causing a few tears to fall.

harry opened your door and helped you into the bar, even as far as buckling you up so you wouldn't have to do anything. he sighed of relief as he closed your door.

"i wish i would've came to you tonight" you said to harry once he sat in the car. your words didn't make sense but he knew you were referring to his concert.

"it's okay love, let's not worry about that. i told you to not come, it's absolutely not your fault. i wish you were there too though" harry reassured you.

"you're just so good for me and i don't understand!" you cried, not sobering up whatsoever.

"trust and believe you're way too good for me y/n. i'll always be here for you."

"i love you. isn't that the worst thing you've ever heard?" you asked harry.

you were on the way to a bar to meet a few of your friends, they told you they invited some other people but it wasn't anyone you didn't know. you were ecstatic to see everyone you hasn't seen in years.

"y/n!" a voice screamed the second you stepped out of car.

"cerise! fuck it's been way too long!" you smiled as your friend nearly tackled you with a hug.

she began to talk your ear off as you noticed a certain brown haired boy walk in, you didn't see his face but your stomach dropped at the thought of who it looked like.

"who all did you invite tonight?" you asked her

"uh- alice, elio, madison, lita, theo, anastasia, and both harry's. can you believe almost all of us are in holmes around the same time?" she told you, stopping you in your tracks right before the front door.

there was no fucking way harry styles was here.

"harry styles? he's actually here?" you asked her again.

"yeah! i just decided to ask in case there was a random chance and he said he was gonna be. but please don't let this ruin your night, maybe you can work it out." she said, pissing you off more than be excited. it meant harry didn't lose contact with their other friends, and it confused you even more.

"it's fine seriously, i'm just excited to see everyone else." you convinced her as you opened the door into the bar, spotting your group of friends immediately.

harry's stomach dropped when he turned his head to follow the gaze of his friends; just to see you there. he put on a slight smile as guilt filled his veins.

he couldn't give a reason why he stopped talking to you. at first he truly just didn't have the time; one direction ate his life to pieces. and then when he did have time, it was too late. their other friends understood harry's pushing away, he didn't feel uncomfortable talking to them again. but you were different, he knew it hurt you the most.

knowing that kept harry awake at night more than he liked.

by the time he snapped out of his thoughts you were already at the table talking with your guy's friends. you made eye contact with him for a second, softening your smile as you quickly turned to cerise.

"do you wanna get a drink real quick?"

--

it had been two hours, and a lost count of drinks. you still hadn't talked to harry, but truly we're having a good time with everyone else. you had to step outside for a moment, and take a breath. you were getting extremely hot and dizzy. you stumbled to the door and sat, well fell, on the concrete around the corner of the building.

you searched throughout your bag for your cigarettes, finally lighting one after messing with the lighter.

"you know smokings' bad for you right?"

you turned you shifting vision towards the voice to see harry styles standing next to you. he didn't look in much better condition than you, but still kept a sober tone.

"oh fuck off!" you slurred at him, making him slightly smile as he sat next to you.

"nice seeing you too, you're welcome for being the only one to check on you." harry sarcastically said.

"that's funny! you haven't been here the last- i don't know, eight years? very out of your personality to be doing this right now." you snapped, really not wanting to have this conversation.

"i couldnt! for the last eight years i have been constantly making music, putting an album out for the first five years on top of touring! by the time i could talk to you; you didn't want to talk to me! they all told me your strong hatred for me, why would i contact you?" he snapped back, letting the sober tone he once had quickly leave.

"why didn't you try? why did you immediately trust their words? do you not remember the literal almost twelve years of friendship we had prior to one direction?"

"i don't know! you had your own career going on and i didn't want to- i don't know even! i don't have an answer that you're going to want to hear!"

"there truly wouldn't have been better if i heard from you. even just a hey! a quick two minute call would've been enough! you're entirely right, you were too late."

"you look really hot when you're pissed off you know?" harry said, taking you aback and your jaw dropping slightly.

"what did you just say?"

"i know you heard me."

you didn't know how to feel, you couldn't deny the flustered feeling you got in your head but it pissed you off even more to at he said that in the middle of your argument.

"fuck you." you rolled your eyes

"you wish you were right now" he said, taking the cigarette out of your hand taking a drag himself before putting it out.

he looked at you deep eyes, as if he was staring through you. the lost count of drinks pushed your face towards his letting your lips drunkenly meet. your bodies moved towards each other roughly matching the kiss.

you whispered his name into his mouth causing him to let his hands explore more of you. you stopped his kiss, moving your face only inches away from his. harry took his hand moving your hair and began to whisper in your ear.