Devotion (26)
Devotion Masterlist
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Song: If You Have To - Ella Langley
T/W: Mentions of Suicide + drug use.
Unedited because I don't feel like it - find an error, lmk.
*Leighton's POV*
Monica's voice was shaking as she said, "She's dead."
My eyes widening as I practically leapt out of bed, startling Colby awake.
"Who's dead?" I asked, not sure I wanted the answer, Colby staring at me like I have three heads, mouthing, "Someone died?!" his face showing confusion and panic as his eyes followed my pacing.
"Aaliyah. The hospital called River, I guess he's still her Emergency Contact, and he called me since he was out of state." She paused, sniffling, "She overdosed."
I felt the ground collapse underneath me, my knees hitting the carpeted floor, Colby scurrying out of bed to aid me.
"Overdose?" I questioned, feeling the emotion build in my throat as my waterline began to fill.
"A stranger called 911, finding her unresponsive in an alley." Monica told me, the both of us now crying.
"Who died?!" Colby whisper yelled, pulling me into his arms as a sob escaped through my trembling lips, Colby holding me against his chest.
I never got to say goodbye. I never go to fix it. Tell her I'm sorry, and that she was right. I never got to be the friend she deserved.
"Do.. do.. do they know how? What did it? Why even?" I asked, sniffling as I attempted to pull myself to together.
"Fentanyl is what did it, but there was a concation of shit in her system. They tried to pump her stomach, but it was too late. It'd been too long." Monica said, choking on the air she tried to inhale between pain shattering cries.
"But.. why? Do you think it was an accident?" I asked, my hand trembling, threatening to drop my phone, so Colby put it on speaker, setting it on the ground in front of me, letting me cry into his chest.
My best friend was gone. Forever.
"I don't think it was an accident." She said softly, her heavy breathing telling me she was struggling to keep it together, whether it was for my benefit or hers, I wasn't sure. "The police said they'd look into it being a murder due to her working as a sex worker, but they think it was suicide, or... a night of fun gone wrong.."
"I saw her just a couple months ago." I told Monica, trying to recall if I noticed anything that would've made me think she'd do this.
I always thought there'd be more time. That we just needed distance and we'd eventually come back to each other and everything would fit like a jigsaw puzzle.
"You did?" Monica asked, sounding shocked.
I filled her in, Colby's palm rubbing my back, brushing hair out of my face as his thumb swiped away heavy fallen tears.
"I don't know much, other than she's been struggling for a long time." Monica sniffled and I found myself nodding slowly.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, "Thank you for telling me."
"Of course. You were her best friend, Leigh."
Were.
Those four letters felt like a dagger slicing open my heart.
After everything she's done for me, I couldn't return the favor. I couldn't save her, the same way she saved me.
Monica hung up, telling me she'd let me know about the funeral stuff and if the police found anything other than what their assumption was; Colby keeping his strong arms wrapped around me, letting my tears fall down his bare chest.
My brain couldn't stop spiraling. Replaying when she met up with me, replaying when she picked me up from jail, replaying her being there when I was pregnant with Gemma, and then when Gemma was born. When I met Colby, every time my brother left for the army, when my mom died...
She was always there to hold me whilst I cried, or help pick me up off the floor.. and the one time she needed me, I wasn't there for her. She should still be living under my room, letting me return the favor. I should be the one holding her whilst she cried, or picking her up off the floor.. not some stranger finding her unconscious in an alleyway... and sex work?
I was in complete and utter disbelief.
Overdose?
Fentanyl?
I let out a shaky breath, pulling away from Colby, letting him wipe under my eyes before he cupped my face, staring into my eyes for a moment; his face blurry due the tears that haven't rushed over my waterline.
"We're going to get through it. One hour at a time, okay?" He said softly and I just nodded numbly allowing Colby to press his lips into my own. "I'm going to hold you for a little longer, and then we're going to get up off the floor, okay?" He said quietly and I nodded, letting body fall back into his chest; as much as my pregnant belly would allow me to.
I don't know how long I numbly laid in his chest replaying a lifetime of memories with my best friend, but Colby eventually got me up off the floor, pulling me back into another hug.
"Let's go lay back down. Gemma is going to get up soon, and you need to rest." He said, guiding me back towards the bed.
Colby crawled back into his own side, cuddling up next to me with his arm resting on my belly and his face in the crook of my neck.
"I'm sorry you lost your best friend, Leighton." He said softly against my ear, pressing his lips to my neck softly once, the air getting caught in my lungs.
"I always thought she'd come crawling back to me..." A moment of silence went by, "I would've went to her, if I knew where she was."
"I know."
"She was a sex worker?... she did drugs? I just.. my head can't wrap around it. I mean, I knew she seemed different.. like, like time had passed.. I just, I kinda figured she was still upset at me.. I didn't.. I didn't realize... realize that.. that was goodbye. That the last time was just that......... the last time." I chewed on my lower lip as my eyes stayed focused on the popcorn textured ceiling.
"I don't think you could've saved her." He said quietly.
"I could've tried."
"And gotten yourself hurt in the end?"
"That's the cost of loving someone unconditionally."
A silence fell over us.
"Is it selfish that all I can think about it is how she'll never be in my life again? In my kids lives?" I glanced over at him, Colby blankly staring at the ceiling with his hands rested underneath his head.
"Losing someone isn't selfish, Leighton. Wanting her to stay because of you, is."
More silence.
Was he saying I was, or wasn't?
The alarm clock went off, telling me Gemma would typically be waking up soon and that I needed to start her day.
"I got her." Colby said a little too quickly, getting up from the bed and disappearing down the hall.
Gemma returned without Colby pulling herself up onto the bed, using the comforter for leverage before crawling over to me.
"Hi momma."
"Hi baby." I smiled softly at her, opening my arms for a hug.
"Coco makin' break.. breakfast." She informed, crawling into my embrace.
"Yeah? Did you sleep good in your new room?" I questioned, pushing her unruly hair out of her eyes.
"Mhm. No bad.. bad dreams." She looked up at me before snuggling closer. "Momma.. momma no bad dreams?"
I swallowed the thump forming in my throat, forcing out a smile as I told her, "Momma had no bad dreams."
"Yay!" She grinned before scooting away. "Baby no bad dreams?"
"Baby had no bad dreams." I nodded.
"Coco said he had a bad dream!" She dramatized, her jaw dropped. "He de only one!"
"Coco had a bad dream?" I asked, getting out of bed.
She nodded quickly.
"Did you ask what it was?"
Her head shook.
"I forgot!" She yelled in shock and disbelief before crawling off the bed, her belly sliding against the comforter until her feet his the floor, taking off running as she screamed his name down the hall.
I peed and brushed my teeth, tossing my hair up into a bun before greeting my mini family, Gemma happily munching on her breakfast as Colby scrolled on his phone.
I walked over, kissing him good morning, greeting him as Gemma watched us.
"When baby comin'?" She asked, shoving a spoonful of cereal into her mouth, milk dripping onto the table.
"Two months, Gemma." I told her, rinsing off some fruit to put into my yogurt bowl.
"She has a name, Gemma." Colby said, putting his phone away and joining her at the table.
I shot a look over at him, confused why he sounded like he was reprimanding her.
"Sissy has name?" She asked, her eyes wide.
Colby nodded.
"What is it?!" Her excited voice bounced off the kitchen walls, her eyes finding me as I sat down at the table with my bowl. "Has some?" She asked, eyeing my yogurt.
I fed her a spoonful as Colby said; "Lennon is your sisters name.", glancing over at me as he told her; looking for reassurance that that is what we were sticking with.
I gave him a nod, scooping more yogurt.
"Lemon." She repeated, testing it out as a big grin broke out on my face.
"Lennon, baby."
"That's what I said." She scowled, wrinkles forming between her brow. "Lemon!"
Colby and I both chuckled.
"Do you like her name?" I asked, offering her another scoop of my yogurt.
She shrugged.
"What would you name her?"
"I dunno." She shrugged again, eyeing my yogurt once more.
"Here." I sighed, sliding the bowl over.
"Hey. No." Colby shook his head, sliding the bowl back over. "She can get her own. She doesn't need your food." He stood up, grabbing a bowl and the yogurt container.
"No bueberries." Gemma told him.
"Manners." I reminded her.
"No... bueberries... please." She corrected.
"Yes ma'am."
"Have you thought more on her middle name?" Colby asked, sliding Gemma her yogurt bowl with cut up strawberries in it, taking away the cereal bowl with just milk left.
My head shook, Colby taking my empty bowl from me, placing them in the sink before handing me a glass of water and my vitamins.
"She'll be here before we know it." He reminded me, like I wasn't well aware.
"I'm just trying to take one thing at a time, okay?" I sighed.
"Leighton. Babies come early-"
"And late."
He stared at me.
"We should be prepared."
"I'm not disagreeing, I'm just saying that.." I trailed off, looking over at Gemma. "Nevermind."
I watched his jaw flex before he nodded and walked out of the kitchen.
I took a deep breath before plastering a smile on my face and talked over the end of Gemma's breakfast with her.
Family showed up around 11:30am; Melissa taking Gemma off my hands to go to a park with Bentley.
Our house was slowly put together over the course of a few hours when Aunt Ginger asked me if I had ordered stuff for the nursery yet, sending my brain into a panic.
I had forgotten.
Gemma never had a nursery, and honestly? I kinda forgot you needed to buy the stuff.
I mean, I knew the extra room was gonna be hers.. I just... I never picked out a crib, or a changing table or anything. All we had were clothes, diapers and wipes.
I walked into the empty room, scanning the space before googling cribs like a crazy person.
Between moving, putting the house together, my brain constantly reminding me that Aaliyah was no longer here and knowing that this baby was due around the corner.. I kinda just figured we'd have a bassinet and do the nursery later.
Everything was always a later project...
Everyone sat in the kitchen eating take out, as I sat on the nursery floor, trying to imagine what I had wanted.
"Hey. Gonna eat?" Uncle Garret asked, standing in the doorway.
"Yeah.. I just.." I eyed the room again.
"What's up kiddo?" He asked, closing the door and taking a seat on the floor near me.
"Do you ever stop feeling like a kid?" I asked quietly, looking over at him.
"When tax season comes around." he chuckled, smirking at me as I chuckled along with him.
"I just.. I'm having a second kid. I'm engaged. I moved states and I just.. I still feel like that 16 year old kid when mom had cancer and found silence within substances. Aunt Ginger kinda gently reminded me I have to actually decorate this room.. and I just.. I'm kind of waiting to wake up one day, and it just be done for me." I confessed, chewing my lower lip.
"You definitely had to grow up fast, and it definitely wasn't easy."
"Has uh.. has anyone told you Aaliyah died? She uh.. overdosed. They think suicide." I told him, refusing to let my eyes go anywhere but the beige carpet of the small bedroom.
"I'm sorry, kiddo."
"Should've been me." I muttered, huffing out a breath.
"Leighton."
"Yeah, yeah. I know it shouldn't but... I deserved that path more than she did. Sex work. Drugs. Death.."
"Leighton." Uncle Garett said with more authority.
"She never struggled the way I did... or.. that I knew of.. god I really was a trashy friend." I groaned, my eyes prickling with tears. "I mean, there's like a thousand things I wish I could go back and fix. To.. to change! I mean, why do I deserve to sit here in this room pregnant with my second kid as my new house that I practically begged to have is filled with family? This should've been here! I was the sloppy drunk who landed in jail! I was the girl who could never pull my shit together.. and yet.. here I am, wondering how I'm going to get up off the floor."
"No one deserves to die, Leighton. It shouldn't be you, just because you went through hardships. Does her hardships mean she should've gone the way she should've? No. You deserve to be here. You deserve happiness, Leighton. I am incredibly sorry you've lost your best friend. One of the few people that stuck by your side for a long time.."
"I'm scared." I admitted quietly, looking over at my uncle through my lashes.
"Of?"
"Ruining everything good I have, because I feel like I don't deserve it."
He was quiet for a minute and my heart began to pound within insecurity of oversharing when he said;
"You had a hard time Leighton. A hard time doesn't mean you deserve a hard life. I know you struggle with Gabe, and with Gemma. I know you and Colby have your moments-" I stared at him in shock, "Your aunts a yapper." Damn Aunt Ginger. "I know you struggle with being pregnant, and I know when you lose people, you want to cope within things that you can control. Something that'll ease your mind.. but... you cannot fix a hard time, with something that'll make your life harder. Ruining your life because your mom died, or your best friend died, will not make anything easier, or make you feel better. You don't deserve roughship just because you think you don't deserve happiness. I don't think I've ever told you this... but.. a long time ago, before you were born, Aunt Ginger and I.. well.. we had a hard time. I'm talking.. toxic, abusive, manipulative relationship. Cheating, yelling.. maybe things had been thrown before. Aunt Ginger had a pretty good temper when she was younger. We'd been married maybe a year or two and we had found out your aunt had miscarried and it really tested our relationship. I got piss drunk one night and just.. lost it. You can only take so much.. before you either break down, or retalite. Whether it's on yourself, your own life, or other people.. everyone has a breaking point. If Aunt Ginger and I didn't work through it, and just let each other blow up one another's lives.. we would've never had the life we have now. The memories, the people in our lives.. the home we share. Happy people, aren't always happy. You've been dealt a shitty hand.. but honey, you deserve the happiness in your life. You cannot blow up your life every time something happens. No matter how much the event had torpedoed your own."
"I just feel like... everyone deserves better than me. My fiance, my daughter, my siblings, my dad..." I chewed on my lower lip again, blinking away tears.
"Everyone in your life loves you Leighton-"
"Love kills people." I replied numbly, my uncle staring at me. "I just.. you run yourself into the ground for people."
"Honey, that's not love. Love makes you blossom. Love is hard, but the hardships shouldn't feel like you're slowly killing yourself for them."
I let out a shaky breath, rolling out my shoulders before asking for help up.
Uncle Garett brought me to my feet, pulling me into a hug.
"Life is hard, but love should make it easier, kiddo."
"I thought relationships were supposed to be hard."
"They shouldn't always be hard."
"I wish she was here with me.." I pulled back, taking a deep breath.
"I know, and I wish I could fix all the bullet holes in your heart."
My body shook as the tears finally fell back down my cheeks, Uncle Garret pulling me into a tight hug, working around my pregnant belly.
"Let's go get some food in that belly, okay?" He said softly, rubbing my back before letting me back away and swipe away the tears.
We walked into the kitchen, Colby immediately locking his gaze on mine as he mouthed "You okay?" and I just stared for a minute before turning away, grabbing a plate, and retreating from the kitchen.
I crawled into bed with my plate and phone, doom scrolling through my gallery as tears ran down my face.
The bedroom door opened, Colby hesitantly walking in, softly closing it behind him.
"Going to take it that you're not okay." He said, not moving to crawl into bed with me.
I didn't reply, earing a deep breath exhaled.
"What happened?"
I glanced up at him, pausing on a photo of Aaliyah and I from an ultrasound scan with Gemma, both of us grinning as we held up the ultrasound photos, joking that we looked like a lesbian couple with a baby on the way.
"I lost my best friend. That's what happened." I replied sharpy, scrolling to the next photo.
"I don't know how to help." He said honestly. "You never want to be comforted by me, and I always seem to fuck up when I try and use words."
"I don't want to be healed... I just want her back. I want..." I stopped, my eyes falling back down to a selfie of us. "I want them all back."
Colby stayed quiet but I could feel his eyes on me.
"Am I too much?" I asked, looking up at him.
"I love you." He replied instantly.
"That's not what I asked."
He made a lack of patience face before shaking his head.
"You're going through a hard time."
"Still not what I asked."
"Are you trying to pick a fight?"
"Are you tired of me?"
"Why would I be tired of you?" he sighed, leaning his back against the closed door.
"Because I'm tiring."
"We have highs and lows, Leighton. That's all."
"Are you with me out of obligation?" I asked, watching his eyes widen slightly, shaking his head.
"I would've left if I didn't want you."
"But I'm pregnant with your baby. It's not that simple."
"I know you're hurting right now, and you keep finding yourself back into a dark pit every time you crawl out of one, but, Gemma is my daughter Leighton. It's not that easy to just walk away. I feel like you think I'm only here because you're pregnant, but if that was the case, why would I have stuck around the past 5 years? I want a life with you, and our children. Yes, we both struggle, but that doesn't mean I love you less, or that I'm only sticking around for our baby. Why are you trying to pick a fight already? You got what you wanted and you're still unhappy."
"Got what I wanted? You think I wanted my best friend to die?!"
"You wanted to move to Minnesota. So we moved to Minnesota. Baby, you say jump and I say how fucking high. I'm happy when you're happy—"
"No your fucking not, because if you were, you wouldn't have disappeared all the fucking time." I snapped, glaring at him. "You act like you never want to be around me—"
"Maybe because you're always pissed off! Something is always wrong. You are not the girl I met 5 years ago—"
"A lot of shit has happened in 5 fucking years, Colby!"
"You don't think I don't know that? I've watched you continuously fall a part, and then blame other people!"
"You just answered my question." I replied softly, feeling like I was staring at a stranger, whom I knew extremely well. Maybe that's because he's felt like a stranger for a long time.
"What question." He sighed, looking worn.
"You are tired of me."
I watched his jaw flex as his eyes rolled.
"I'm tired of the back and forth with whatever mood you wake up with every day, yes. Either you love me, or you hate me, and you can never make up your damn mind."
"I fucking try! I try, Colby! I wake up pissed at you because you never feel like you want it as badly as I do!"
"Bullshit."
"No! I ask for communication? You disappear. I ask you to show up for my daughter, your nowhere to be found. It's like you want a family on the side of the bachelor lifestyle you so desperately crave!"
"You get everything you've ever wanted, and you still want more." His eyes narrowed at me.
"Wrong. Because if I had everything I've ever wanted, my mom and best friend wouldn't be dead, I wouldn't be a addict or landed in jail. I would've had a partner that loves and cares about me enough to put in the effort like he says he would—"
"Now I don't love and care about you? Are you kidding me? What do you want, Leighton? A partner who is at your beck and call twenty four seven? I work! I have to travel for a living! I have to do merch photoshoots and attend meetings—"
"The house feels empty, even when you're in it."
Silence fell between us, the sounds of my family chatting together just down the hall was muffled by the closed door and my racing heart.
"Say what you wanna say Leighton." Colby gritted out, his breathing heavy.
"I think... I think that.. if this is what loving you costs.. I no longer want to pay."
"Are you ruining this because you're hurting?" he asked quietly, tears blurring my vision.
"I just want to be loved.." I whispered, sniffling as my eyes casted downards on my faded phone, the picture of Aaliyah and I threatening to go dark.
"You can only push me away so many times before I stop coming back." He said quietly.
"A wise man once told me loving someone isn't supposed to be hard.... and I feel like I constantly break my heart over and over again for you."
"What was the point of dragging me here, just so you can break up with me two days later? What kind of sick and twisted person does that? Months Leighton. We spent months trying to get here, to build a life together, and you're just what.. throwing it all away because you think I'm not good enough anymore?" His voice rose.
"We've been acting more like roommates now, then we ever did as actual roommates. I don't think you love me anymore, and if you do, you have a really shitty way of showing it."
"Because I'm busy?" His tone was calm. Too calm.
"Because we sleep in the same bed, share the same house, and kissing you this morning felt like an act for my daughter."
"Stop saying your daughter like she means nothing to me. I was the one that was there for her first word, her first steps.. I've continuously showed up for the both of you..."
"Which I appreciate, but the job isn't done, Colby. I feel like you don't want this anymore. Like we're too much.. this is all too much." The tears finally fell, yet again, as I watched the way his blue eyes got darker, his lips pursing as he turned around.
My heart sunk, expecting to watch him walk right out of that door and never see him again, but then he faced me again and just started pacing.
"I think you're hurting, and having a hard time.. and choosing to pick a fight with me over it." He said, stopping his pacing to stare at me.
"That has nothing to do with the fact that I feel like you don't want me anymore."
"If I didn't want you, I wouldn't have let you move us half way across the country. I wouldn't have put a ring on your finger. I wouldn't...." he stopped, his lips rolling together.
"You wouldn't..." I repeated, waiting.
"I wouldn't put up with your back and forth so much. I'm not tired of you, Leighton. I love you, very fucking much, and I'm sorry that you feel like I don't. I just, I sometimes get caught up in everything. We've been under so much stress lately that it's hard to take a moment and appreciate what's right in front of me. I guess... let me ask.... do you still love me?"
"I want to." I responded quietly.
"I understand we both have things to work on.. but can you not throw your ring back in my face again just days after finding out your best friend died? I'm not losing you because you're hurting."
"I don't want to lose you either.. but I also don't want us to be a constant cycle of hurting each other too."
Colby walked over to the bed, sitting down at the end of the bed, facing me.
"You don't feel like I love you... so what needs to change? What can I do.. to show you, that this is exactly where I want to be?" He kept his eyes on me, staring into my soul with his beautiful blue eyes that looked like they were in complete and utter emotional turmoil.
"I miss the way we used to be. When we were more playful.. and when you actually showed up for us, instead of acting like we'd just always be here whenever it was the most convenient for you. I miss when we'd shower together for the hell of it, and when we'd mess around in the kitchen. I miss.. I miss feeling like your friend. Like someone you wanted to be around, and I know I'm not the easiest person to be around all the time.. but I just.." I paused, watching Colby move over to me, resting on his knees and he grabbed my face, kissing me with urgency.
When he pulled a part, we were both breathing hard as he held my face; "I miss that all too. I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells around you, baby. You're always a pindrop away from a meltdown. It's not that I don't want us to have fun, and do things together. I do love you, Leighton and I hate that you think I don't."
"I don't want to bring a baby into this situation, Colby. I don't want her.... to grow up with us like this." I licked my lips, sniffling as my eyes fell shut, my hands finding my stomach that felt like it was ready to burst at any moment.
"You sound like you've made up your mind..."
"I wish I wasn't pregnant." I stated, watching him rear backwards.
"Leighton—"
"I can't drink if I'm pregnant, and I fear that's the only thing keeping me together right now.. and knowing that... knowing that that's the only thing..?" I swallowed the emotion back down, "Knowing that the only thing preventing me from doing that this morning... is that I am pregnant... makes me feel like the worst human on the entire planet. Aaliyah deserved a better friend. My parents deserved a better daughter. My siblings a better sister. My children a better mother and my partner...? My partner deserves a better spouse. I don't deserve the ring on my finger.. and I keep waking up, hoping that one day.. it'll all just click into place, and everything will make sense.. but instead, I just... I feel like a drunk girl trying to find her way home but every time she gets close, she takes the wrong turn and just continues to go in circles. I'm going to give birth to this baby... knowing she deserves better... and it's killing me inside."
"Are you suicidal, Leighton?" he asked softly, my shoulders slumping with a head shake.
"I'm just really fucking tired." My voice croaked, my body allowing him to pull me into a hug. "I'm tired of fighting... with everything. I'm tired of trying to constantly prove myself to everyone. To myself. I'm tired of feeling like I keep failing.. like.. like just me breathing is messing up everyone's life. I feel like we're just slowly pushing a knife in closer and closer to each others heart until we nick the perfect spot that's going to destroy everything we've built together... I wanted a fresh start, and instead, I feel like I just dragged everything with me here."
"You've lost me." Colby admitted honestly. "Do you.. want us together, or not?"
"I don't know.. I almost feel like we need a probation. Like.. like we need to step back and remember what it feels like to properly love one another."
"I'm tired of going backwards." He said softly. I'd put money on the fact that he didn't want me to hear it.
"I'm tired of feeling like this isn't working."
"What do you want?"
"A break." I replied without missing a beat.
"From me?"
"From it all. From feeling like everything is so damn difficult all the damn time. You used to be something that felt easy. Natural.. and now.. now I feel like I barely know you anymore."
"So you want to break up?" He asked, moving further away from me.
"I don't know."
"Well you sound pretty damn sure of yourself this entire time." He snapped before apologizing, getting up off the bed.
"I'm just trying to process everything and figure it all out. All I know is nothing is working, and I don't know why."
"Have you ever considered that maybe it's you? That maybe you just want too much?" He asked, his arms crossing over his chest.
"A man that loves you will never tell you it's too much. They'll help you figure out how to get there, or handle it. You don't ever seem like you want to work on our relationship with me. It constantly feels one sided, and then you just throw around that you love me to try and band aid the our relationship back together! You cannot bandaid a break, Colby!"
"All you want to do is fight, Leighton. Constantly. You're constantly looking for something to argue with me about—"
I was so tired and so fucking done.
I just wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear until everything became easier.
"Look. I'm not proposing to you again. So either we figure this shit out, or you take the ring off. Because breaking up every time you have an issue is not something I can put up with. I'm telling you I want to fix everything, and you sound like you're just wanting me to preform tricks like a show pet for your applause."
I felt like a neon sign was going off in my head screaming This Isn't Love. —and I could feel every piece of my heart shatter right as the knife found that perfect spot to cut; but what did I know about love?
"I'm sorry that you had to uproot your entire life, and move halfway across the country for me." Is all I found myself saying.
"So what you're saying is..."
"I need to figure out what love is, and if this is love... decide if I want it."
* * * *
I broke my own heart and cried writing this, what a welcome back lol
When I wrote that she felt like the house was empty even when he was in it, instant tears lolol
Written on: August 14th, October 23rd, December 1st 2024, April 27th, 28th 2025
Published on: April 29th 2025
Word Count: 5385
Part Twenty Seven - Coming Soon
