can i be goofy with you

one of the best things about cats is that sometimes they'll just purr because youre around them

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

fucking the everything bagel for everything

everything? including war?

fucking the war bagel for war

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

THE HUNGRY JOKER: it's simple. we Grill the batman

when the chips are down... mmm... chips...

wound dressings and bandages are lingerie for the enlightened pervert

little bit of advice: if you can't tell if a post online is a joke, you should always assume that it is not a joke and the op is either an idiot with an inflated ego or is lying on purpose for malicious reasons. in both cases the best course of action is to aggressively correct them and insult them, maybe even threaten to kill them

the buddha taught this

A mosquito has escaped from the zoo

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

For those who genuinely don't know, "free the nipple" is about going topless. As in no clothes over the tits at all.