𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐘.

i'm sorry you didn't get to go, man! i'd have personally loved to see you there. though what do we have to do to solve this problem? i definitely don't want to be on your bad side.

see, immediately, you're innocent to me. we have no beef because i can tell you're being sincere, thank you. as of right now, i don't have much of a plan outside of just complaining about it until enough people feel bad. it's not working.

It should be a crime for someone not to be invited to napa.

oh, one hundred percent, i agree. i'm like i guess they were worried they'd have too much fun if i was there or something...

i can't believe no one invited you to napa! that sounds like a need to sue the person in charge. next one you have to be there!

yeah, right?! that's what i'm saying! as soon as i figure out who's responsible for this, dude, i'm getting my lawyer on the phone... or just giving them a thumbs down. that shit's more demoralizing than being sued.

sorry, i was too busy packing and forgot to text you. i promise the next trip, i won't forget you.

okay, okay, i see where i stand with you. that's cool. i'm not shattered down to my core or anything. i'm just stuck between "i hope you had fun" and "i hope it was terrible and you were bored because marcello wasn't there", so give me a minute to decide, okay?

Damn I didn't get invited either its cool. I could kick some ass for you in our honor.

would you actually? because i don't know who to blame yet, but once we figure that out, the most i can offer on my side is standing behind you and giving moral support while hurling insults at them. call that a dynamic duo.

let's call it even and blame it on your faux father and we can punish him by going on our own napa trip. is that a fair deal?

oh, you don't even have to ask, mamá! at this point: dad who, right? consider my bags packed and my schedule clear.

no worries there. i, for one, didn't exactly have the best time so i feel like i'm somewhat excused, don't you think? 99 problems and napa somehow became a very personal one.

if you didn't have a good time, then you're fully excused because i have a more important question now: who was it and when are we planning their demise?

... that's really fucking funny, like respectfully. the idea of her bragging to her friends like, "my dad's head is shiny as hell, see?" is hilarious. were you secretly flattered, though? because not a lot of people can pull off the bald look, but you got it down. i don't have any kids of my own, but my younger cousins, dude... merciless, so i feel you on this.

this is easily the best news i've ever heard, and now i can say for certain that my new and only summer plans are counting down to the undecided date for that release. my tour was supposed to kick back up in a few days, but at this point, i think i need to cancel it, because this kind of just became the main thing i'm thinking about now.