We are very excited to announce our prompts for Crack Week, and even more excited to see what you all come up with!
Posting will start April 1st, and it's not anonymous, so feel free to share any ideas and snippets in the meantime, and please make sure to tag us so that we can scream about what you're working on and share it with everyone!
There are no sign-ups, no prompt claims, and no strict expectations! You can create as many works as you like, with as many prompts as you wish to use, and can go off script completely if you have a crack-y idea that fits within the spirit of the fest! You can find more information in our rules & FAQ.
Our inbox is always open if you have any questions! We're also on Instagram and TikTok, and are part of the @misc-marauders-fests Discord server!
You can find a text version of the prompts beneath the cut.
Love,
Your Crack Week Mods ❤🥚
Sex shop, April fools, potion, bald/hairy
Arthur Weasley's car, murder mystery, time travel, were-animal.
St Mungo's, talent show, invisibility cloak, spell misuse
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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That's all, yolks! Marauders Crack Week, sadly, has come to an end. We've had such an absolutely crackin' time with you all, and loved all of the egg-credible works that came from this fest. Thank you all for indulging our crack (fic) loving mod team, and please check out some stats from the fest!
17 fics
7 microfics
12 authors
adding up to 78,883 words!
You can find a full list of works from Marauders Crack Week beneath the cut, and please remember to leave kudos and comments for your hard working crack creators. With that, we must take our leave, and wish you all an egg-credible day.
Go forth and seek crack... fics. 🥚
oregano flow by @barkingatthemooninsteadofwriting
“Hey, are you Remus?” the figure asks, stepping forward to reveal a boy that can’t be a day older than fourteen, smiling brightly while fiddling with his wire-frame glasses.
Remus just blinks at him, flabbergasted, unable to wrap his mind around the fact that the person he’s spent the last week corresponding with after getting his number from a friend of a friend of a work acquaintance—the person that he’s here to purchase drugs from—seems to be an actual child. He opens his mouth, closing it when all that comes out is a sort of breathless squeak, which the child looks justifiably concerned at, because a grown adult who just squeaked agreed to meet him in what is possibly the shadiest location in the city, like some sort of pervert. He’s going to end up on To Catch a Predator, or whatever copycat version of the show is airing now, or even worse… a podcast.
[Wolfstar | Teen | 3,420 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
Sirius Black and the Marauders (the fanfiction!) by @shunstanpike
Sirius, James, and Peter have spent their whole lives dreaming of becoming rock stars. When a powerful executive from Phoenix Records strolls into Godric's Hollow looking for a new band to sign, that dream starts to come true. But the rock star lifestyle of television appearances and brand deals isn't exactly what they expected. Will they be able to keep their solemn oath to put their friendship first, or will the pressure of fame get the best of them?
And what's really going on behind the music?
This fanfiction is brought to you by Flourish & Blotts Booksellers. Use coupon code SIRIUSFIC at checkout for 10% off your first online order!
[Wolfstar | Teen | 20,683 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
moon fluff. by @heysaykitkat
A bright grin stretches across James' face, safety goggles on, and his hair is even more wild than usual, all of which makes him look like one of those muggle mad scientists.
Mad Wizard, more like.
[Wolfstar | Teen | 2,697 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
Deep in the Weeds by @stellarusername
At 38 years old, Remus was used to a lot of things. The ache in his joints from a whole host of conditions that caused flare ups and swellings and stiffness. The concerned looks his Mam gave him every time he had to try a new medication for all the mysterious ailments he suffered from that most doctors couldn't seem to find evidence of. The slightly judgemental looks he got from his manager and her secretary when he asked to work from home for medical reasons, again.
So when his doctor suggests he try an... alternative solution for his failing appetite and increased anxiety, Remus decides to give it a chance. After all, what could go wrong?
[Wolfstar | Teen | 3,361 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
Make it everybody's problem by Mikibou
Remus doesn't like it when James says 'furry little problem'.
So he plots a revenge.
Too bad he sucks at potions.
[Wolfstar | Teen | 1,095 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
let the rain fall down (i'm coming clean) by barkatthemoon
The first time Sirius brought it up he’d discounted the entire thing as some sort of joke, but then he kept talking about it, and the longer it went on the less sure Remus felt about asking about it. At this point it’s been so long that he’s afraid that he’d sound like an arsehole who doesn’t support his boyfriend’s wants if he voiced his concerns, especially since he had already been an arse who didn’t want to come stay with the Potters at all this summer, but…
Here he is.
At the cottage.
Still as unwilling to piss on his boyfriend as he was the first time Sirius brought it up.
[Wolfstar | Teen | 2,304 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
Animal Instinct: The Lives of Teenage Animagi by barkatthemoon
There have been some slight behavioral changes since Sirius, James, and Peter completed the ritual to become Animagi...
[Wolfstar | Teen | 2,053 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
Vroom by Mikibou
Sirius finds a flying car in the forest.
Maybe she can help him with his goals.
[Wolfstar | Teen | 1,633 words | Major Character Death]
40,000-Year-Old Love Song by @puuvillaa
Europe, 40,000 years ago. Remus is a lone Neanderthal, who has lost his parents to starvation. His kind has been slowly disappearing, and he’s alone in the world. When he hurts his ankle while hunting, he knows that the end is near, but he’s then unexpectedly saved from certain death by Homo sapiens Sirius, who takes him home with him. Can two species so similar yet so different coexist?
[Wolfstar | Mature | 4,412 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
What has been used on one side is lost on the other side. by lanearoo
"It can't be as hard as becoming animagi. We mastered that, so this should be cake."
–
The Marauders try Polyjuice Potion.
[Remus & Sirius | Mature | 3,334 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
Suction by @brandileigh2003
A fic for marauders crack week:
Sirius is completely suckered shocked not only to discover his own animagus form, but the lycanthropic form of his boyfriend.
[Wolfstar | Explicit | 3,384 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
:kermhole: by @birdiesnest
Sirius and Remus get an unusual package delivered.
Happy April Fools!
[Wolfstar | Explicit | 1,767 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
Sirius Black and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Shirtless Curse by @astralsunshine
Sirius Black expected many things from his eighth year at Hogwarts after Voldemort was defeated. He did not, however, expect to be cursed to roam the castle completely shirtless, flaunting his visual assets to undeserving eyes.
The sight of a shirtless Sirius Black is, of course, one to behold—but why won't Remus Lupin look at him?
[Wolfstar | Explicit | 8,048 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
Magically Delicious by @cornwall1977
When Remus wants to bring food play in the bedroom, Sirius is eager to give it a try.
It's just that the foods Remus had in mind... aren't quite what he expected.
[Wolfstar | Explicit | 6,642 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
Clipped On You by @emperorem
After the C-Suite of James Potter, Sirius Black, and Marlene McKinnon assigns Remus a very boring work assignment, he decides to entertain himself by adding Clippy clip art, the once-upon-a-time Microsoft Office helper.
And really, the whole thing starts innocently enough—he swears it does.
But Remus stumbles across a surprising side of Clippy. Although in retrospect, it shouldn’t have been surprising. The internet truly has a little something for everyone.
And this little something is sexy Clippy.
[Wolfstar | Explicit | 9,190 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
Just type the letter without help: Halloween Party B-Side by EmperorEm
This is Clipped On You Chapter 5 office Halloween Party from James' POV.
[Wolfstar + Jily | Explicit | 1,200 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
A Miracle Made Flesh by puuvillaa
The Willow has stood in its spot for decades, the only constant in its life having been Remus Lupin. When Remus returns to Hogwarts as a professor, the Willow’s old fondness towards him turns into something stronger.
[Remus/Whomping Willow | Explicit | 2,395 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
Micro Fics by @colourful00desert: Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four, Day Five, Day Six, and Day Seven
The first time Sirius brought it up he’d discounted the entire thing as some sort of joke, but then he kept talking about it, and the longer it went on the less sure Remus felt about asking about it. At this point it’s been so long that he’s afraid that he’d sound like an arsehole who doesn’t support his boyfriend’s wants if he voiced his concerns, especially since he had already been an arse who didn’t want to come stay with the Potters at all this summer, but…
Here he is.
At the cottage.
Still as unwilling to piss on his boyfriend as he was the first time Sirius brought it up.
[Teen | 2,304 words]
let the rain fall down (i'm coming clean) is now available on ao3!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
âś“ Live Streamingâś“ Interactive Chatâś“ Private Showsâś“ HD Qualityâś“ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
crack treated seriously, PoA, pining, tree sex, tentacles, anal sex
Written for @marauders-crack-week
The Willow has stood in its spot for decades, the only constant in its life having been Remus Lupin. When Remus returns to Hogwarts as a professor, the Willow’s old fondness towards him turns into something stronger.
After the C-Suite of James Potter, Sirius Black, and Marlene McKinnon assigns Remus a very boring work assignment, he decides to entertain himself by adding Clippy clip art, the once-upon-a-time Microsoft Office helper.
And really, the whole thing starts innocently enough—he swears it does.
But Remus stumbles across a surprising side of Clippy. Although in retrospect, it shouldn’t have been surprising. The internet truly has a little something for everyone.
And this little something is sexy Clippy.
[E | 9,190 words]
Written as part of @marauders-crack-week collection
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
âś“ Live Streamingâś“ Interactive Chatâś“ Private Showsâś“ HD Qualityâś“ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Sirius Black and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Shirtless Curse
A @marauders-crack-week fic - READ HERE
Sirius Black expected many things from his eighth year at Hogwarts after Voldemort was defeated. He did not, however, expect to be cursed to roam the castle completely shirtless, flaunting his visual assets to undeserving eyes.
The sight of a shirtless Sirius Black is, of course, one to behold—but why won't Remus Lupin look at him?
Be sure to check the collection, and keep coming back throughout the week to enjoy all of the incredible cracky works.
Here is my contribution.
Sirius Black and the Marauders (the fanfic!)
Sirius, James, and Peter have spent their whole lives dreaming of becoming rock stars. When a powerful executive from Phoenix Records strolls into Godric's Hollow looking for a new band to sign, that dream starts to come true. But the rock star lifestyle of television appearances and brand deals isn't exactly what they expected. Will they be able to keep their solemn oath to put their friendship first, or will the pressure of fame get the best of them?
And what's really going on behind the music?
This fanfiction is brought to you by Flourish & Blotts Booksellers. Use coupon code SIRIUSFIC at checkout for 10% off your first online order!
Rating: T
Important Tags: Alternate Universe - Rock Band; Alternate Universe - 2000s; Crack; Marauders Friendship; Wolfstar subplot; Comedy; Rock Star Sirius Black; Himbo James Potter
We're so egg-cited to bring you two more works from Marauders Crack Week! Remember that the collection will remain open through the end of the month, so there's still time to share any crack worthy projects that you've been working on! You can submit a work here, or search the collection name directly on AO3, which is: MCW2026
Just type the letter without help: Halloween Party B-Side by @emperorem
This is Clipped On You Chapter 5 office Halloween Party from James' POV.
[Wolfstar + Jily | Explicit | 1,200 words | No Archive Warnings Apply]
Vroom by Mikibou
Sirius finds a flying car in the forest.
Maybe she can help him with his goals.
[Wolfstar | Teen | 1,633 words | Major Character Death]
“Hey, are you Remus?” the figure asks, stepping forward to reveal a boy that can’t be a day older than fourteen, smiling brightly while fiddling with his wire-frame glasses.Â
Remus just blinks at him, flabbergasted, unable to wrap his mind around the fact that the person he’s spent the last week corresponding with after getting his number from a friend of a friend of a work acquaintance—the person that he’s here to purchase drugs from—seems to be an actual child. He opens his mouth, closing it when all that comes out is a sort of breathless squeak, which the child looks justifiably concerned at, because a grown adult who just squeaked agreed to meet him in what is possibly the shadiest location in the city, like some sort of pervert. He’s going to end up on To Catch a Predator, or whatever copycat version of the show is airing now, or even worse… a podcast.
[Teen | 3,420 words]
oregano flow is now available on ao3!
written for @marauders-crack-week and @stellarusername
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
âś“ Live Streamingâś“ Interactive Chatâś“ Private Showsâś“ HD Qualityâś“ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
wolfstar | teen and up (on account of the swearing) | for @marauders-crack-week
A bright grin stretches across James' face, safety goggles on, and his hair is even more wild than usual, all of which makes him look like one of those muggle mad scientists.
