one blog to worship both my idols

Someone tell me what Halsey and Taylor put into the live versions of Hopeless Fountain Kingdom and Reputation that somehow elevate them well above the album versions.

taylor talking about how she’s excited about being in front of a crowd when all sing “she would’ve made such a lovely bride, what a shame she’s fucked in the head” ME TOO THE FUCK

one for the money, two for the show I never grow up it’s getting so old

instead of finding someone to write breakups about, she found someone to write breakup songs with!!!

i think one of taylor’s best strengths as a songwriter is her ability to portray the smaller moments of love and heartbreak, the smaller moments that hurt the most. all too well isn’t “you hurt me you broke me i hate you because i once loved you”, it’s “i loved you and now i have all these memories and pointless knowledge about you and i no longer have any use for it.” you are in love and lover are two of her most romantic songs because they’re not about the grand gestures, they’re about the day to day stuff that makes a relationship. when she says “i thought i saw you at the bus stop, i didn’t though” in the 1, because you’re always subconsciously thinking about and looking for the people you once loved. or the memories and feelings come again out of nowhere, when you’re having coffee all alone and lord, it takes you away. cardigan is specific details and moments across the span of years, but august is just the same memory over and over, because betty knew james better. back to december opens with “how’s life, tell me how’s your family” because a relationship can end but you still wonder about the people in their life. the dress in clean is wine stained and she can’t wear it anymore, but it’s still in her closet: she still has it. because when you love someone and you lose someone, it’s not a one and done thing. you’ll always have those little things. people plant seeds in the gardens of our hearts and even if we cut them down, the roots still remain, wrapped around us forevermore. 

i’ve been thinking about how evermore has this theme of words that are going unsaid. things written that will go unsent; things sung that will never be heard. things like that. and there are callbacks in between songs too. so ‘tis the damn season sounds like a practice phone call—cowboy like me calls back to this with the line “now i’m waiting by the phone / like i’m in an airport bar”—but of course when the actual call is made most of that will go unsaid. dorothea reads like an unsent letter, complete with direct address. in evermore, she sings about “letters addressed to the fire,” or letters written and then burned, never to be read. in closure, a letter is received but spurned; a song is sung about how the narrator’s reply is basically that there will be no reply. still, this will go unsaid. the sender of the letter whom the singer of closure is addressing will never know of her sentiment that she doesn’t need the closure, because she isn’t sending any closure back to him. this echoes throughout the album, this lack of closure due to leaving things unsaid. in tolerate it, the narrator sings in the bridge that she could leave, she could end the relationship, “believe me, i could do it.” but in the end she returns to that same “i sit and watch you” line—she doesn’t express her concerns (if it’s all in my head tell me now) and she doesn’t leave what she suspects to be an unhealthy relationship. she says nothing. marjorie: a love letter to memory, basically. maybe the only letter sent, but it, too, will go unread. champagne problems: an undelivered monologue reasoning why she said no. the addressee of that monologue will never receive it, either. the whole album is tinged with regret, often for how things went, but also often for not being able to reach out. here are all these collected words unsaid. letters addressed to the fire. an album in autumn colors—or the colors of dying flames.