Skeleton Efficianado

Character[s] b: No one want's to see you do that.

Ey go check out my new fic babes:

Tensions run high between the Swap bros, Blue is busy, Stretch is missing his brother. It's no big deal though. It's fine. He's fine.Meanwhile Nightmare and co. set their sights on the swap house...Trouble is brewing to say the least.

Edge massaged his temples as he assessed the stupidly self inflicted damage from one of Stretch's little… outings . “Look Edge, how was I supposed to know that undoing the little safety bar for the flying swings was a bad idea?” Stretch winced as Edge applied the anti-bacterial spray to his various cuts and scrapes. “I’m just happy you landed in a bush and SOMEHOW managed to avoid any serious injuries.” The wannabe daredevil winked, “What can I say? When it comes to getting hurt but not dying, I’m a pro”

“Lucky me I guess” Edge sighed as he sat up to inspect his work, which was flawless as usual, “Yeah, lucky you, now come here! Doctor Edge, I need some feel better kisses and numbing cuddles”

“You’re a little brat, you know that right?” Edge clacked the goober on the cheekbone, “I know, that you wouldn't have me any other way, now hush! It's silent cuddle time.” And with that the two skeletons cuddled on the couch for the next half an hour.

“I’m hungry.”

“Mmphm, thas ur probem edgelrd” Stretch hugged Edge tighter, sending an obvious message. “Babe, let me go.”

“Mmm nu, ur warm” Edge let out a very put upon sigh, “Can you at least spell your words correctly, I refuse to listen to you speak in text slang. It’s obnoxious.” Now it was Stretch's turn to sigh, “Fine fine you frigin grammar nazi, and because I love you, I’ll let you go make some food for us”

“Oh how gracious of you” edge smiled despite himself as Stretch opened his hoodie clad arms. “BUT!! You owe me payment in the form of food with honey on it.” Stretch then pointed dramatically toward the kitchen, “NOW GO! Before I change my mind” Stretch’s latest attempt at anything resembling intimidation got Edges attention. “Nice try honey bun but…” The dark skeleton’s voice seemed to drop about three octaves as he loomed over his datemate “You need physical proximity to gain the full effect” He placed his hands on either side of Stretch's skull and leaned in close to his acoustic meatus “don’t challenge the master cutie”

It was then that Edge received a couch pillow to the face, courtesy of Stretch, “cool off spicypants, this cutie is hungry so make us some food and maybe then we’ll have dessert. Edge stood up and walked to the kitchen “You know, I’d have you cook if I was in the mood for breakfast, but unfortunately it's 4pm and I want ramen.”

“Haha! Once again being a one trick pony comes in handy! Stretch: 1 universe: 0”

“We both know you only mastered breakfast foods because they're the easiest thing to put honey on without creating an abomination.” Stretch shrugged, “What can I say? I know what I like and papyrus’s like to cook” Edge couldn't fault him on that logic, whether it be CreamPuff’s Italian dishes, Slim’s barbeque, Stretch’s breakfasts, or his own tendency towards spicy foods, every papyrus had their own cooking style. Meanwhile in sans land they all had their own field of study, whether that be Sans’s astronomy, Blue’s rocket science, Red’s astrophysics, or Razz’s study into the black hole, they all had their own variation of stellar science.

“The slight variation on our interests is definitely the most unsettling part of the whole multiversal collision” Edge declared as he brought out some beef ramen served in their two largest mugs with a set of chopsticks each. “Yeah, right next to all the societal debates on “is it ok to date your alternate self?” and “doesnt that technically count as incest?” and “does selfcest create deformed offspring?” my goodness it was fun to watch the humans work that out.” Edge rolled his eyes, “What do you mean was they're still going at it aren't they?”

“Ehh, I stopped following human politics shortly after I got a life, shits confusing, depressing, and it makes me angry.” Edge leaned against Stretch’s shoulder resting his head softly against the other, “Good to hear hun, do what makes you happy.” Stretch was about to start joking when Edge cut him off, “Unless what makes you happy is injuring yourself again.”

“Darn” Stretch snapped his phalanges, “I was kinda hoping you had forgotten about that” The other laughed, “You didn’t really think you'd get off that easy did you?” Edge chuckled as he slowly tipped the other over until they were lying down with Edge’s head on Stretch’s chest, “Now sleep and get better or so help me god I’ll strap you down and get a gps chip installed in your neck.”

Stretch looked at how tightly the smaller skeleton was holding him and began to think shit, he was really worried wasn't he, fuck I'm such a dick, why can’t I just be normal? You deserve so much better babe. Stretch ran the tips of his phalanges along Edges coronal sutures as his thoughts spiraled, “Stop over thinking, and go to sleep you lazy ass love of my life” Stretch’s sockets went wide, “how did you…?”

“You only rub my sutures when you think you’ve been a bitch, or after you've fucked me into next week, and yes you have been a bitch but I’m over it so focus on getting better and nap with me”

“What?” his sockets widened in shock as he struggled to process what he had just heard. Pausing his jigsaw as he turned to his lover.

“I-I’m breaking up with you, we’re done Edge.” his mind was blank, but at the same time a whirlwind of shouting thoughts. “What do you mean you’re breaking up with me? Love, what brought this on?” This had come out of nowhere, they were happy weren’t they? It had taken a while, it had been years since they first met. And it felt like even longer ago they’d finally started to get along and really meet each other

“I- you know I love you Edge, nothing could change that. Not ever,” Stretch mumbled that last part as he hunched in on himself. “But…?” Edge urged him to continue, scared as to what he’d say.

“It’s… It’s your lv!” stretch slapped a hand over his teeth, he hadn’t meant for it to come out that way. Edge’s expression turned to one of hurt and betrayal as he silently waited for Stretch to elaborate. “No, not like that, babe, no never like that…”

“Then how Stretch? What did you mean? Because it sounds to me like-”

“NO!” Stretch cut him off, “No, let me speak, It’s not because I don’t understand why you did what you did back in underfell. It’s not because I’m afraid you’ll fly into an LV induced rage and dust me, it’s never been that, not now, not ever.”

Edge sighed, soul buzzing anxiously within his ribcage as emotions began to well up. “Then what?” he hated how his voice came out a shaky whisper.

“My Judge…” Stretch wiped away golden tears of his own. “Every time, whenever I’m around you its urging me, screaming at me, begging me to judge you, to hurt you.” Edge held in his feelings, the only sign that he was even affected by Stretches words were his overbright eyelights.

“That… every time?”

Stretch nodded.

“So for all these years, our trip to the beach, every quiet morning we’ve spent together?...” Edge forced his tone to even, refusing to let himself show weakness.

“Yeah…”

They sat there in silence, letting Stretch’s confession sink in. Edge could do nothing as his every memory of his lover was slightly tainted. Every time they were together, every moment…

“Why now?” He asked angrily, “Why did you even pursue this if you knew that it would never stop? If you knew that no matter what you did a part of you would forever be urging you to kill me?!” Edge’s soul hurt, but he kept stifling his emotions as best he could.

“Damnit Edge because I love you! I wanted it to work, I wanted to ignore it, but the longer this goes on the louder it gets, I just… I can’t… not anymore.” Stretch slumped in on himself once again.

And that was what broke him, red tears pricked at the corners of his sockets, “And why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me believe that we could be forever, why did you let me hope we had a future?”

“Beca-” Stretch cut himself off. He didn’t have a reason. Not a good one. He was scared? He thought he could do it. Because he knew it would scare Edge off…

The longer he stayed quiet the more it hurt Edge, the more he couldn’t hold back his tears. The more the pain in his soul grew. “So that’s it then” Edge huffed out a pathetic, broken laugh, “You lead me on because you were too much of a coward to be honest…”

“Edge no I-”

“I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU STRETCH!!” Edge snapped, “I trusted you with my weakness, I cried in front of you, I told you things my brother doesn’t know about me! I let you- YoU even… I BORE MY SOUL TO YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!” Edge wiped furiously at the tears streaming down his cheekbones. “It was all a lie… and to think I was going to…” A bright flush bloomed across Edge’s cheekbones, “After all that, after I finally let myself trust someone”

His breath hiccupped as he began to cry in ernest, “I thought you felt the same Stretch, I thought that when we’d shown our souls that you hadn’t held anything back” he found himself laughing at his own stupidity, “Angle knows I didn’t.”

Edge gripped the sides of his skull, “And you fucking betrayed me like that… you just let me show you everything EVERYTHING, you didn’t stop me, you didn’t say you weren’t ready, you just kept saying you loved me. Calling me beautiful despite my scars, calling me strong for surviving what I had… Was that a lie too Stretch? How much of what you told me was half truth, how much was just meaningless taleverse pillowtalk? I thought you understood why it had been so hard for me to say ‘I love you’ for the first time”

Stretch gasped softly as he realized the extent of what he had done.

“Edge! No please wait I’m sorry didn’t-” Stretch went to gently hold Edge’s hands, hoping he could salvage this, reassure him that he hadn’t meant to hurt him like that. Only to get swatted away, “Don’t touch me” Edge growled, “I don’t want your apologies” Edge turned to leave their shared apartment. He glanced back at Stretch, seeing the distraught expression that graced his soft, freckled, tear-stained face.

Have a Undertale skeleton oneshot you've always wanted to see written? send me the pairing, and a prompt of any kind [song, single word/sentence, photo, whatever] And I'll write a oneshot of at least 1k words

I'm trying to get back into writing, and zap some energy into this blog so if you have even the faintest interest shoot me an ask :]