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If I wanted to watch a live stream I’d go down to the river and into the river I’d dive

I think the university course database should have a filter to only show classes taught by extremely old people who are insane

the classic trope of "what if you went to a town and it was weird" never fails

oh my god it hurts

and it's going to hurt forever

The police pull my lifeless body from a lake but I’m wearing the funniest hat they’ve ever seen and they can’t stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

youre in the circus while my money is reaching Amazing Digits

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement