Available at your local grocery store

thinking about this middle aged asian man today who was lifting boxes wearing a t-shirt that said "white boy of the year"

my life isnt perfect but at least im not doing a mans laundry

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

sorry america but you’ve been really mean. and I don’t want to go to your birthday party in two days

it really is fucking pathetic that a country with more guns than people can't hit one guy

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.

fuck, I just realized that if I spend my life being too intimidated to make art then that means I don't even get to make bad art. I end up making NO art. that's way worse

in the beginning, the trump assassination attempts were spaced by twenty four weeks. then twelve, then six, then every two weeks. the last one, at the white house, was a week. in four days we could be seeing a trump assassination attempt every eight hours until they are coming every four minutes. we should witness a double event within seven days,

28 is the oldest you can get in your 20s. 29 is crazy young like leave them alone weirdo. 30 is old 31 is super young