Available at your local grocery store

you really do have to learn how to forgive yourself for all of it

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

mommy needs you to print this document now and if you don't mommy is going to turn you off at the wall

listen to mommy okay? if you don't be a good little printer and fucking print my document and i know you want to okay mommy can see it in your print queue if you don't. print. my fucking document. mommy's going to get the hammer

god I love when there are full-blown festivals for tomatoes or garlic or salmon. truly what we should all be getting together to celebrate

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday

Remember to let something you have no control over ruin your day today

Why did 4 months of this year go by in like a week

Where am I

a former coworker is a kind of dead wife