conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 70 (masterpost here)
Jason: hold on, it's on my phone, let me pull it up.
Tim, audibly delighted: i can't believe you do this-!
Bruce: Robin, don't get distracted, i need you on my six.
Damian: *already distracted, somewhat forlorn* i wish you were an owl...
Bruce: that's not- *pause* what?
Damian: they don't need people on their sixes. they can turn their heads and just look.
*distant crashing and gunshots*
Bruce: shit- focus, Robin!
Jason: i got it, it's still here.
Tim: please god read it out,
Bruce: *amidst grunting* you two aren't helping.
Jason, dismissively: then switch to a different line? everybody knows line seven is Red Hood's territory; go back to line one.
Dick: who needs to go back to line one?
Tim: ...Dick you've been here for thirty minutes, how are you not hearing us.
Dick: sorry- you know that thing where you disassociate and drive, and then you snap back to yourself as you pull up the driveway and you have that moment of 'how the fuck am i still alive?'? i think i did that with swinging.
Jason, grunting casually: oh yeah, i get that sometimes.
Dick, mystified: how the fuck did i get to Bristol...? sorry, anyway- what are we on?
Tim: Jason's grudge list.
Jason: i have a list on my phone of the worst things everybody has done to me, so i can keep track of how much revenge i need to get to 'win'.
Jason: shut up. aren't you fighting?
Damian: it's not that complicated a fight.
Damian, casually, after a beat: Father?
*sounds of punching, hitting*
Damian: how good of a mood would you say you're in?
Tim: i'm calling it now he got shot- you got shot, didn't you?
Damian: tis' but a flesh wound-,
Bruce, resigned: oh my god- Robin.
Damian: you didn't watch my six.
Damian: it didn't even hit anywhere important,
Bruce: i don't care- just go to the batmobile and get the first aid kit, i'll be there after i finish getting the evidence i needed.
Dick: are you guys done? because i wanna know what's on Jason's list for me.
Tim: yeah i'm- i'm also very invested in this. actually- is Damian on there?
Jason: uhhhh- yeah, by the bottom. i don't update this that much, to be fair.
Damian: what's written for me?
Jason: it just says 'looks too much like Bruce'.
Dick: wait wait- what's on there for Bruce then?
Jason: Bruce's- *laughs* ok, Bruce's has stayed the same since before i went to Ethiopia, and it's still the most evil thing he's ever done to me.
Jason: according to the list, the meanest shit Bruce has ever done to me was when I was thirteen years old and he took me to an evening afterparty for this opera event, and i was bored as fuck with all the other rich-people kids and i wanted to go home, so to discreetly get B's attention, i texted him-,
Bruce: oh- *snort* ok i remember this.
Jason, indignant: i texted him asking if we could go home, and this piece of shit proceeds to look at the text in the middle of this circle of people he's talking to, read the text from me OUT LOUD TO THEM, and then he looked at me across the room and yelled out 'what's wrong, chum? who don't you like, why do you wanna leave so early?'
Tim: *long noise of sympathy*
Dick: *cackling* THAT'S SO BAD????
Jason: shut up Bruce. -and you wonder why we hated you; honestly.
Bruce: you were- *struggling to tamp down his amusement* you were being a handful, and that was the quickest way i could think of to make you want to be quiet.
Jason: worst moment of my life to date, and i've literally been murdered.
Bruce, slightly amused: oh come now, chum, that's dramamtic.
Jason: IT'S NOT THOUGH??? IT'S PUBLIC HUMILIATION!
Damian: *hiss of pain* oh- woooaaahhhhhh,
Dick, still snickering: -uh, Dami?
Damian: hm? oh, sorry, no, carry on, don't mind me- *under his breath* huh, that's cool.
Bruce, slightly concerned: Robin, where are you? i thought i told you to wait in the car.
Bruce: then what are you doing?
Damian: taking out the bullet i got shot with.
Tim: ...the hell is 'cool' about that?
Damian: there's a second one already in there that i didn't know about.
Bruce, stern: Robin what's your status, are you ok?
Jason: when the fuck did you even last get shot?
Damian: i dunno, that's why it's cool. i guess i forgot about it?
Tim: dude- what the fuck even is your life.
Damian: yeah i don't- oh, i think the second one was blocking a vein- shit, there's blood on the seats,
Dick: oh my god BRUCE GO TO YOUR KID-
Tim, mumbling: like father like son,
Jason, instantly: -shut it or i put you on the list.
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