Currently (re)watching: Supernatural

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

My dear friend Johnathan Harker has begun his lovely food blog as he travels through the countryside of Transylvania. Hope his journey is smooth and his business concludes swiftly!

He’s lame, he’s cringe, he’s stupid, he’s obsessed with justice, he thinks he’s a superhero, he has a dumb fucking superhero name, his cape is shaped like the moon, he’s bald, he’s a bouncer, he’s 7’5, he’s fucking busted as hell, his sidekick is cooler than him, he’s probably old as balls, he wears a fedora, his name is dumb, his superhero name is dumber. He’s washed, chopped, and cooked, and he will NEVER serve, NOR will he eat. Brian Murphy you’ve done it again

I knew he was peak Murph at "YOU DON’T TALK TO BETH THAT WAY"

*claps hands* All right, people, we got our overarching theme for this campaign that carries through all the zany antics and campy horror stuff, and it is the death of small towns!