The Perfect Life

I’m still hoping that you will come back.

I can’t stop myself from loving you, no matter how hard I try. I keep trying and struggling to move on, but I can’t get you out of my head or out of my heart.

I can promise you one thing and one thing only; that my heart will never give up on yours

There is nothing more heartbreaking than saying a final goodbye to someone you want to spend every minute with.

I’m scared I’ll never love anyone else the way I love you. I’m scared I’ll never be able to kiss someone again without thinking of you. I’m scared I’ll never be as compatible as I was with you. I’m scared I’ll never be able to forget about your smile and the way your voice spoke when you told me you loved me. I’m scared I’ll never be able to look into the future without seeing your face. I’m scared I’ll never find someone to teach me how to love again.

Having a broken heart is like having a broken rib. You can’t see it but it hurts every time you breathe.

There will always be a place for you in my heart, maybe not in the way I want it to be, or maybe not the way its supposed to be. Sometimes I can’t stop thinking about you and reminiscencing on those memories that seems like I cannot let go of. Other times I find myself missing you so dearly.. Just wishing I could go and kiss you, spill my heart out to you, AND then.. I get urges to just talk to you the way we use to when we were together. There is nothing I could ever miss more than you. There is nothing that hurts more than knowing I can’t have you in the way I want. Facing reality just sucks because I still love you.

I learned that it’s okay to love someone and not be loved in return. I’m saying that because when I loved you, I knew you didn’t feel the same way. But I still continued to love you, And it was okay, even if my heart was breaking into a million of pieces, I understood. You can’t force someone to fall in love with you when you want them too.

1- Human skin replenishes every 27 days but that doesn’t matter because your fingerprints are engraved on the bones in my wrist. It doesn’t make sense. My skin has never known yours. I’m sorry. 2- I read something about the Three Fates in Greek mythology and it made me think of you. They say the goddess Clothos spins the thread of life; she decides when someone is born. I’m pretty sure she tied a knot in my thread the day I met you because I felt like I was born again. 3- I’ve always believed that anything that makes you feel is poetry. I wonder if you have words for feet. I’ve never seen your feet. 4- I can’t stop shaking. I may have given you too many pieces of me. I don’t feel whole anymore. 5- 11:11 is bullshit. 6- At a certain point when the sun skims the horizon, it becomes difficult to tell if it’s rising or setting. The sky is a beautiful purple haze regardless. I guess I’m trying to say that what we had will always be beautiful. 7- My body is rejecting sleep. It misses your voice. 8- Lachesis is a bitch. She didn’t give us much time. 9- We made so many promises to each other I think I lost track. I don’t want to break them. I’m sorry if I have. 10- fuck I can’t breathe. 11- I still think of you when I look at the stars. I see your name in constellations. 12- hurt breeds good poetry but what the fuck does that matter now? Fuck poetry, I want you. 13- Maybe our paths will cross in the streets of London someday years from now. And it will take everything in me not to kiss you. 14- If moving on means forgetting you, please god make the earth stop spinning. 15- There’s a song stuck in my head and it has nothing to do with you but I remembered humming to you on the phone and how you’d always laugh when I did. 16- They say there are stages of grief and at some point I should be angry. I don’t see it coming. All I see is sadness. I don’t see myself moving on either. 17- I woke up again. It wasn’t a dream. 18- I don’t even believe in god, but I keep asking him to help me forget you. Maybe it’s easier this way.