An Old Writer

If your past becomes embarrassing to you, or it's something you're ashamed of; it means you've grown

You won't believe me now or even maybe months, or possibly years from now. I'd like to tell you though, that whatever demons you're facing or the ones you've been facing your entire life - you'll reach a point where they'll turn into ashes.

“True beauty, the truest beauty, is knowing that depression doesn’t always win.”

“Growing up doesn’t mean forgetting who you once were, or trying to escape who you were at one point. Growing up doesn’t mean you’re running away from something that once was - it just means you’ve burnt down the city and now you have to build up from its ashes.”

“To love someone is to let it be known, and to love someone is to let it go.”

"You held the key to her heart, yet you threw it hard enough so it could reach the ocean floor so she wouldn't be able to be loved by another man."

"I didn't fall in love with you because you had a pretty face. I fell in love with you because out of all the people in the world, you saw me for who I was, and who I could be. "

In the world I live in, we’re together living in a studio apartment with huge windows. And on rainy days we sit and make homemade cookies and watch movies, and I always have your arms wrapped around me and your lips on mine…. But in reality, I have our old pictures and text to go back and look at whenever I start to miss you again. And on rainy days I lay in bed between the blankets and the cold sheets hoping to god I don’t break down and call you to tell you I need you…. In reality.. I miss you, I love you, and I need you.

She moved on. I never understand how she did, or how she could bring herself to, but she did. She was living her life to the fullest day by day with that amazing smile I fell for. And as I sit sipping on this glass and feeling myself slip into a dazed and foggy state of drunkenness, I seem to miss her more and more.

I found something I want to live for, and for the first time in years, it's not you.

I miss you. I won't admit that to your face, or over text, but right now my heart feels like it's shattering over and over again and I just want you right now.

Love doesn’t just leave you happy, it leaves a lot of pain. Sometimes it hurts like hell, and breaks you down to your absolute core. It makes you wake up in a cold bed with tears in your eyes because you can’t wrap the idea of that one person you love not being there with you. Sometimes love makes you feel like there’s a pair of hands tightly wrapped around your throat, and a weight on your chest that never goes away. Sometimes love is watching the sun in their eyes as it sinks over the ocean. Sometimes, it’s just the little things this person does. And sometimes, no matter how much you fight to be with them, you have to let them go.

I'm not the same person you fell in love with, nor will I ever be that same person again. My heads gotten a tad darker, and my hearts' gotten a tad colder, but I still know who I am. There's a lot that's changed about me, yes, but the way I look at you and want to grab your hand every time you're around has never changed. My love for you has never changed darling.

I didn't know what falling in love was like until you left me.

Just because we broke up doesn't mean I'm going to regret being with you. I'm not going to regret getting hurt, or crying over you. My heart aches and my throats feels like I'm choking on my own oxygen, but that's fine. I knew what I signed up for whenever I said yes, and because we both knew deep down it wouldn't last. But if I could go back to the first day I ever fell in love with you, I'd go back in a heartbeat to relive every memory we ever made. You were the best god damn thing that ever happened to me.

She sat and watched him in the silence he had allowed to take over. Nothing seemed to matter at that one very moment, but the longer she sat there, the more she felt like she was dying. “So,” She said, taking a moment to pause. “What are we then?” His eyes seemed to glisten with several different yet deep and meaningful emotions. They held sadness, fear, his aniexty; yet he knew what to say. “We’re lovers who can’t be together right now. I love you, and you’re my world, but right now, here - I can’t love you because it won’t work. I’ll hurt you and hurt you and you’ll just keep coming back. I don’t want to kill you so emotionally and horribly that you can barely breathe or be yourself around me. We’ll be ghosts. But no matter what, I’ll still love you.