in our house we have a few categories of stimming behavior.
1. the no category. this is for things that are unsafe. hurting self (head banging, scratching), hurting others, chewing on choking hazards. i know this is excluded in OPâs post, but iâm putting it on my list because if you parent an autistic child and deal with this, you have to be aware that a key to off-limits stimming is redirection. stimming satisfies an important physical and neurological need for the autistic brain, and that behavior is sensory-seeking. if you must say no, please also offer options or help redirecting to appropriate outlets for pressure, motion, rhythm, chewing, etc.
2. the shared space category. listen, i get that a lot of people are assholes about things that arenât hurting them. thatâs not what this category is for. but we have a household with multiple autistic individuals and a work from home situation. âshared spaceâ is the code phrase we use for âplease take this stimming to a different location.â sometimes, aural stims like repetitive noises or physical stims like pacing can be legitimately distracting to other people in a room (or car!). in the case of other autistic people, it might even feel painful or mentally consuming. this category is no-judgment âplease move to another location to continue stimming this way.â itâs not bad, itâs not wrong, you arenât being shamedâ just do your best to respect others and their needs or comfort, and leave the communal area or lower your volume.
3. the you do you category. it doesnât matter that nobody else is doing this to feel comfortable or happyâ you arenât hurting anyone else, you arenât being disruptive in a space other people are using together. go for it.
and in every single category, anger has no place in redirecting a stim. not even the no category. stimming isnât malicious, thereâs no actual moral requirement to be âless weirdâ or âlike everyone else.â even reminders like âyou arenât the only person in this room and thatâs very loudâ donât need anger. stims arenât done at anyone. theyâre just the body expressing a kind of neurological hunger, and whether the answer is âenjoy that!â or âthis isnât safe for you to eat (ie, do)â fury doesnât help.
theartofmadeline
romaincrisis
kianamaiart
andulkaphoto
gummygunk
