Beautiful things

its the ace/aro version of the ‘i dont like boys… i like men’  vine

This post is gonna be about the difference I've had in relationships where I've felt romantic attraction and not felt romantic attraction. (I'm grayromantic)

Romantic relationships

So I'm currently dating the first person I've ever felt romantic attraction towards (@fairyloveletters ) which I think is pretty cool. In this relationship I've wanted to cuddle, kiss, hold hands and just generally want to be around that person. I've also not felt weird about saying "I love you" and I could see myself with that person for the rest of my life.

Aromantic Relationships

When I dated someone I wasn't romantically attracted to I still wanted to kiss them. Whilst we were dating it always felt like it was gonna end. I felt weird saying "I love you". The relationship felt like an extended friendship.

The Differences And Similar Things

One major similarity is the want for touching like cuddling and kissing and hand holding. That's because those actions aren't inherently romantic, they're sensual.

A major difference is the feeling of the relationship is gonna end/feeling as if I could end up with the person forever. I know that due to my age, statistically my currently relationship has a good chance of not being forever and I've kept that in mind with all my pasts relationships. I used to think that was why my relationships failed. Turns out it's not, the lack of romantic attraction did ruin them. Even though I know this statistic, I'm hopeful that it'll be wrong and I don't really care about the stats. It's hard to explain. I guess with my past relationships I never wanted to waste time dating them and broke up with them, however with my currently relationship I don't feel like I'm wasting time, if you catch my drift.

What I've Learnt

I've learnt that it's hard being in a relationship with an aromantic person or anyone on the spectrum when they aren't romantically attracted to you. The relationship can still work, however it won't for most people. Hopefully this doesn't put anyone off dating, however it's just gonna be harder to find a partner. And that's okay. I would rather find someone who's good for me after ages than someone who's not quickly.