Magna @magnavie - Tumblr Blog

I got a letter... The name on the envelope said "Pjackk."

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baradragon

life could be so much easier if i could oscillate between a pussy and a dick at will but im sure many people feel this way

t00thpasteface

me before i get my paycheck: i'm so excited to spend this on essentials and save the rest wisely

me as soon as that direct deposit hits: you know i've always wanted to learn the theremin

tpwrtrmnky

Fucking incredible that this is the first example they used lmao

bunnygirlpaws

the last one is pretty funny too

sometiktoksarevalid

queenanthai

I love that at no point was he even close to getting the name of the source material right because he was so distracted by his sexy wife

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capacity2

a question for you

Lay it on me mister fuckinyouhard0989

capacity2

He’s so shy he died

capacity2

We could’ve had something beautiful together but everbody leaves me

horsefigureoftheday

Nova's tips for beating the heatwave:

1. Check that you have good access to shade trees, a shelter custom made to fit you and all your friends, and plenty of good airflow

2. Find the hottest, sunniest, and least windy part of you pasture and lay down

3. Make sure you look as much as possible like you have died of heatstroke

4. Get your friends in on it

prince-of-goths

A horse's biggest purpose in life is to make you think they died

toskarin

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

strayknight

yeah you can play mr brightside by the killers for a group of drunk guys on a night out and watch them sing along to it but have you ever played low by flo rida ft t-pain for them ? they get a spark of recognition in their eyes and lose their minds. they go crazy for it. its like catnip.

mx24

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cartoon-fanaticism

GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face

notahorseindisguise

ALSO..some more masturbation facts about me. theres a nonsexual scene in a book where a kid gets spanked for some reason. it was set in like the 40s and he was in a boarding school i forget. but i think i either misread the scene . or maybr the author actually did write this and theyre just fucking weird. and i thought the protag got hit (with like a ruler or something). on the penis instead of on the arse. and i remember my 11 year old brain being like. i wonder why i think that would feel good.

and so my first ever "experiment" with masturbation was. slapping my dick with a ruler. and when that felt good. my first ever way of masturbating was. stacking heavy books on my penis. and then hitting the top book. so that the force was distributed down the series of books. into my penis. and of COURSE it didnt work i was punching books into my dick but it laid a strong foundation for a great gooning career . hey everyone PLEASE pretend you didnt read this post

notahorseindisguise

doyoulovethewayzeylily

we're all laughing but this is a very serious issue, hitting a stack of books into your penis is a short step from slamming it in car doors.

geekysteven

A common theme in science fiction is that if you're in space, don't trust a corporation. And Earth is in space

hotvampireadjacent

markovchaingang

the fifth rule of gun safety is that rules 1 through 4 can be safely ignored if you're trying to shoot someone's dog

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