what

What I’m doing:

 Me: I have a chronic illness. chronically ill am I. My illness is chronic. I experience my illness in a chronic fashion. Chronically, I will experience illness. Chronic. Illness.

When I’m relaxing and/or ‘wasting time’ watching a show or puttering around on the Internet, there’s sometimes this voice buzzing in the back of my mind telling me I should be doing something more productive, I should be studying something, I should be working out, or cleaning. This voice is helpful for nudging me get my day-to-day tasks done, but letting this voice stick around during my down time is harmful to relaxation and can make a soothing evening watching Star Trek (yes, I’m a Trekkie) into one where I feel subtly anxious and achy and I can’t put my finger on why I feel this way.

I usually feel this way because I leave that voice on. I have to reach up inside my mind and turn it off. Even if that means letting the laundry go undone, or not reading for the day. It’s okay to not chastise yourself for wanting to relax.