the slugger

Stop, Drop, and Roll also works if you're wet. It sort of spreads the water over the floor

How do people name bacteria do they just whisper their names to you

I’m an introvert in every way until I like you then I’m the biggest annoying yapper who sucks up all the air in the room and can talk for hours. unless I’m scared you hate me in which case I’ll stumble through like 2 sentences and then go quiet and hope you don’t get mad

everything sucks But I have great music taste

god i fucking hate ai overview

my newborn son has an ifunny birthmark

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

humans die... gamers respawn.... and languages? i dont know

Can everybody go back to being a loser I miss when we were all losers

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

The problem with being low support needs is that people mentally autocorrect that to “no support needs” and then proceed to give you absolutely nothing and then get surprised when you implode after six months.

give it up for girls with vaginas and boys with penises

pause i forgot cis people exist this was intended as a celebration of bottom surgery

every friend group has a corpse in it. if you think yours doesn't, YOU'RE the corpse.