IN COMES ANNE CARSON WITH THE STEEL CHAIR

i spot a plus size honey across the bar and start to chat her up until her bisexual boyfriend with a magic the gathering tattoo comes over and starts yelling at me so i turn him sideways so he can't make another action until his next turn

guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way

wait what’s the difference?

one you can use in the oven safely and the other you can also use in the oven if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire

*getting too in the weeds of the worldbuilding of a horny tumblr post* Okay I get that you're saying princess, but honestly the dynamic you're describing here seems more like you want to be a duchess or even a lower noble

You wanna be the villainess in an otome anime

told someone i'm schizophrenic and they ask "are you sure it's not just your mind playing tricks on you" bro what the fuck do you think schizophrenia is

every now n then i think about how native americans as human beings just dont exist in like 99% of mainstream media. in movies or tv shows or books or video games or you know even in porn like we just arent people. when theres a native character theyre like a wild west indian. like truly to ppl we all died back in the 1900s.

there's a really fun balance when you know someone has a crush on you where you can tease them for having a crush on you without letting them know you know they have a crush on you. this only works because people who have crushes will analyze everything you say but not very well. anyway, i love playing with my food.

settings > wound > my wound > reopen