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not to be that woman who makes everything about the book she just read but a lot of the chatgpt takes i see really remind me of a central truth in Naomi Novik's Scholomance trilogy regarding mana vs malia. people say things like "oh you can't possibly avoid using chatgpt at least for SOME things, at least once in a while, at least in small ways!" and it's like the perspective that El runs into time and again that no-one can be strict mana ALL the time, you have to be using at least a Little malia (the life of that ant, the extra wood in your bedpost), everyone does it, everyone takes the shortcut sometimes, gets something for nothing and it's fine and no-one gets hurt except maybe a beetle or a plant, and who cares about that? except it's not fine and you can never really get something for nothing and every time you use something evil in pursuit of something good, every time you use the ends to justify the (basically harmless!) means it is a poison on your own soul and on the world.
not even to mention the fact that there are plenty of people who have never used generative ai and will Never willingly/knowingly use it and so it is a convenient fiction for everyone who is that there couldn't possibly be anyone who isn't, there couldn't possibly be anyone who is strict mana.
saw a comment that misspelled “kind gesture” as “kind jester” and am now imagining a beautiful world where we praise good samaritans by calling them kind jesters. good on you, you gentle fool. you’ve made the world a sweeter and sillier place.
ngl because I said this in a post and because I don't want to cast aspersions on the anon I just answered (to be clear I do not think they were doing anything wrong with that ask here, it just reminded me of Weirdness Towards Murray) nor drag that ask into a discourse space but it does come to mind: the only thing Marisha/Murray has done that has irritated me in the slightest has been her tendency towards cynicism and conspiracy with regards to figuring out what Thjazi was doing, ie, there was truly no sign he was working towards godhood or trying to destroy anything other than Gavzidra [and this is also off topic and I have to leave for work shortly but every actual complication to the bridge ritual was something Thjazi could not have reasonably foreseen] and the idea that Mara was genuinely invested in solving the world's problems is not in fact far-fetched, like, Murray, your life's work is affordable access to a ground-breaking form of magical education. But like. Murray being blunt and talking back to powerful people when it's not the wisest choice and treating college students like college students and insufficiently coddling your pet man blorbo is in fact all in-character and based as hell and interesting. Like, the standard I see applied to her behavior and choices is not double, it's like, quintuple.
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One thing that gets lost in ship discourse (or its hyper-positive opposite) is that regardless of your feelings on a ship, in order to tell a story, the character relationships do and should have an impact on a character's story arc, and not all relationships are going to offer the same emotional weight throughout any given character's story.
This is particularly true of actual play, wherein each player character is running a separate story as a protagonist, and therefore you have to consider each of them as an individual thread within one larger narrative, on top of the narrative itself.
That being said, the farther you get into the story and the closer to the end you are, the ways those threads can interweave get culled, simply by circumstances. Relationships (platonic, romantic, familial, etc) change over time, and whether they are narratively compelling changes as well. In contrast, "ship" is generally used to suggest a dynamic an individual audience member finds compelling, which may or may not have anything to do with the narrative, even if the dynamic is interesting for reasons of narrative potential (that isn't ultimately explored within canon). These are distinct concepts in terms of analysis. So as a disclaimer, this post is about character relationships within the narrative as it exists—essentially, what makes the story that exists work as well as it does, in the end.
Now that we've got all that out of the way, let's talk about Caleb.
Caleb's problem for much of the campaign is one of survival and self-preservation. His goal is simply to last long enough to find a way to go back in time. Because that is a very open goal, it doesn't inherently have much to tie him to another character in a relationship sense. He is not looking for that, he does not see himself as worthy of it, and it's really not a necessary narrative question, regardless of what attraction he does have.
But over time (and, I would argue, in a way that is fairly singular among the Nein, but I won't get into that here), his priorities begin to shift. Many of his needs are now met in ways that they previously weren't, allowing him to fully consider what he wants. For instance, between the start of the war and the time they reach Xhorhas, he has changed his mind about becoming involved in this war—because he is not being forced into it by possible conscription. He has significantly more options than he did at the start.
What he ends up realizing, as he finds the opportunity to put an end to the war, is that he cannot trust his own judgment. There is near universal support to end the war—even the nations involved are there because of what they view as existential threats. That opinion is not in question. But everything else is. Caleb is a victim of manipulation and brainwashing, and this is very apparent when he starts pleading with the scourger prisoner of war to give him some kind of proof that people like him can change.
And this is not something that anyone else of the Nein can offer him. They can tell him that they think he is a good person and that they trust him, but because of his history—and because he knows how smart he is, and how far he can fall—this isn't something he can take at face value, especially given that they have not seen or known him at his worst, and have not experienced it either.
Yasha may be able to offer some guidance in that area, but she is working through similar issues at both a different pace and in different ways than he is—she isn't seeking any situation where she would make potentially world-shaping decisions or have influence over others like he would. His goals are singularly risky. Veth comes closest to this, in that she very briefly considers prolonging the war to alleviate her own suffering, but it's not a decision she's ever forced to make.
(Honestly, thinking about this, an arc in which Veth does take that deal with Isharnai is a fascinating alternative universe to consider—it would certainly give her the opportunity to relate to Caleb in this way, but it would probably take another fifty episodes before Caleb could even bring himself to consider forgiving her, given it would be in direct conflict to the one thing he's been working at for a third of the campaign up until then. Still, a fascinating consideration!)
So between Caleb attempting to sway the scourger and going to Astrid's house in secret, this is the point at which it seems like the Nein cannot help him do the rest of the work. They have done a lot to get him here and considering what else he wants! But they can't offer him what that is, which is essentially tangible corroboration of what they've already offered.
And at this point in the campaign when taken as a whole, there's only one character who can actually offer that. Because to have real emotional weight, what Caleb is looking for is someone who is as smart as he has, who has made a similarly horrific decision even in spite of that intelligence, and who has now committed to actual change.
It's the commitment to actual change that is difficult, because it requires a support structure—and in hindsight, there's not enough time left to build that up for someone like Astrid or Eadwulf, but it's already partially in place for Essek.
(We can debate all day long about what could've been different if the hiatus never happened, or the campaign had lasted longer, but this is specifically about the campaign that we have. I think there is also an argument to be made that Astrid or Eadwulf would've required a much longer and more intensive timeframe to reach that point even if the campaign had continued than the format really offered, because they have preconceived notions about Caleb that complicates their ability to take what he says at face value even if they care about him succeeding in his goals—but that's also not relevant to this point.)
But I do think this is why Essek progresses very quickly, and is largely committed to aiding them by 124—he already has been aiding them, and has expressed loyalty to them above anyone else.
This is not as much of a leap as it may appear to some, because even by 91 and 97, he had done significant introspection on his own time. This is only a continuation of how he has been characterized thus far. He's expressed doubt from a very early point, whereas Astrid does not begin to express doubt (regardless of whether she feels it, because this is about capacity for willing admittance) until after the dinner with Trent.
What ends up happening is that Essek's the one who actually calls Caleb on things. He gives him an ultimatum with the conversation about Trent when the Nein won't. He offers reason and perspective in the paper room when the rest of the Nein get impatient. He checks off all of the boxes of what Caleb is looking for (which is essentially a narrative mirror), and very early into the Nein's trip through Aeor, Caleb seems to have forgiven him, and his fears and misgivings erode from there.
Only this corroboration, because his opinion of Essek is specifically about his opinion of his own capacity for change, allows him to recognize that returning to the past would simply make him the same person he had been at 17, and finally put that plan, the person that he was, and his parents to rest. If he is not able to be anything other than that boy, then he has no reason to not remain as such, and return to the past; but if he believes himself capable of change, then the question of going back in time is one of leaving behind the person he is now in favor of the boy who made that choice. He is asked, if he believes himself capable of change, to acknowledge that he was that person once, but can now be more than that and move beyond it.
And the proof that he needs in order to affirm that when he is given the opportunity to do so is standing next to him.
Fundamentally, this is not related to Caleb's long-term relationship with Essek at all. This could have been the end of it—they could've parted ways and the story would've still been told and completed.
But I think it is important that a) Essek does get to have some happiness, and b) part of that is with Caleb (though this still doesn't have any bearing on platonic vs romantic, only that they have some kind of close mutual relationship in the long run). On a very basic level, because he is now in this position of being corroborating evidence for Caleb himself, Essek becomes a stand-in for how the narrative sees Caleb, and how Caleb views himself.
If the narrative condemns him and leaves him out to dry, it is an implicit reflection on Caleb—and directly conflicts with the narrative implication that Caleb is not solely worth condemnation. And however much it has nothing to do with romance or a relationship of that kind, Caleb's choice to care about him in the long run is an acknowledgement of being willing to care for and forgive himself.
Something I've observed when it comes to shipping is that I find I'm not a fan of ships where the lion's share of all fan meta, gifs, and theorizing center around only one half of the ship, Character A.
Character B's attraction to the other is just sort of 'assumed' and almost hand-waved away as being inevitable.
This is, despite the fact, that Character B has expressed overt attraction and/or feelings for a Character C in canon, and so the ship would actually benefit from exploring why they would choose A over C.
It's especially egregious when Character B has very complicated feelings or even actively dislikes character A.
This often happens when A is blorbo-bait, and so the shippers don't really have much to say about B at all outside of fawning love interest and just sort of using them as a prop for A's attractions.
Julien desecrating Thjazi’s body at his funeral, but it’s just the DM realizing he has the funniest way to make Orcish Bugs Bunny continue to be a Problem for every noble in Aramán:
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This is almost definitely me putting way too much thought into a moment that Brennan just did in passing, but it's one that is important TO ME, which is the little moment between Hero and Thaisha in the Archanade during convergence. The one where Hero tells Thaisha about un-petrifying Cyd and says "I've done something Shadia hasn't"
It just speaks so much to the love and support and closeness of the Lloy-Fang-D'vyen family. "I've done something Shadia hasn't" is like, very classic and normal and lowkey sibling rivalry. And she has 0 qualms expressing this to Shadia's mom! She has no fear of being shut down or shamed, she doesn't spare
any worry that Thaisha might be cold to her in response.
And we see that trust immediately born out in the fact that Thaisha laughs and even says she likes this energy! There's no weirdness, it's just warmth.
Hero says it's good to see her. Thaisha congratulates her on being at the Penteveral. This is a family and they are so, so fond of each other.
a really fun thing to do for the summer break would be to release the world map.... i need directions ... it can be a fog of war map that has places not visited blacked out...just the shape of the continent
the craziest thing to come out of the Lore Keepers' Ledger so far is learning that Campaign 4 is entirely hand-mixed (shoutout to Chris Wilmott, their sound mixer)
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There's no way to say this other than bluntly which is that Imogen is uniquely treated as the main character within her campaign as compared to any other CR campaign and it's either very ignorant, very stupid, or very deliberately obtuse to say otherwise.
Vax's prominent position in the story of Vox Machina is still nowhere near as central as Imogen is to Bells Hells, and is the result of choices Liam made in the story rather than being assigned main character by narrative, but everyone gets a quite satisfying arc. The Chroma Conclave story is specifically designed to tie into every single character (not just through the vestiges, but also with Thordak's ties to the twins, Raishan's tie to Keyleth, Umbrasyl's to Pike and Grog, and Vorugal's originally to Tiberius, with Dr. Dranzel and Kaylie often in the line of fire to heighten stakes for Scanlan and Ripley's involvement to do the same for Percy, who also already had a very central arc with the Briarwoods anyway). Most other plots are similarly crafted to fairly evenly dole out boons custom-made for the characters, because Campaign 1's origins as a home game meant that it was tailor-made to said characters as a party, without any further agenda.
Meanwhile, Caleb and Beau's interests and skills are prominent throughout Campaign 2 because Critical Role had by then pivoted into telling an ongoing story of Exandria, and a major focus of the campaign is the war in which their country and institutions (former or present) were involved, but similarly, everyone gets their moment in the sun even if it is not as obvious and literal as "each of you gets a vestige specifically made for your abilities and character arc." Even if they are less invested in the war, we see Jester learning the truth about the Traveler and deciding what her future relationship with him looks like, Fjord doing much the same with Uk'otoa (and later the Wildmother), Caduceus rescuing his family and expanding his horizons, Veth getting her body back and learning who she can be when given opportunities outside of Felderwin, and Yasha working through her grief. We see the entire party, in the end, return to lives that they have now actively chosen, having gone through this character development, instead of the ones expected for them by default.
Campaign 4 is West Marches; no one is in the spotlight continuously because they're only on screen a third of the time. We are obviously early in that story, but we do know that there was quite extensive pre-game planning such that the characters are prepared for a story that does not focus necessarily on them other than through their pursuit of the plot. They are all connected to Thjazi in some manner, and his death is the domino that sets all of them, with all their own interests and rich connections to the world and to each other, in motion. The characters all have different roles within the story and as we're still relatively early on some have had more to do than others - that's how a story works - but you'd be hard-pressed to argue any one individual is notably more important. Everyone is at this point at minimum deeply connected to either the cosmological or political questions of the story, if not both.
And then there's Campaign 3.
You can pretty much tell the story of Campaign 3 and treat everyone but Imogen as interchangeable or disposable. She is the only main quest character, and everyone else's problems and concerns are relegated to a few sidequest episodes that, unlike C1 and C2 sidequests, do not feed back into the whole and feel perfunctory rather than a digression with meaningful consequences. The elemental/eidolon focus of the Hishari and titan shards; Chetney's (never explained or significantly explored) connection to Ruidus through his lycanthropy; Delilah; even Fearne literally being herself Ruidusborn and the biological daughter of one of Ludinus's generals, barely matter. Orym's past ties him to Ludinus, but gives him no real action items or room to grow unless he forces the decision that no one else wants to make. FCG's arc is strong, but it ends before the final choice is made. Most of the focus on characters other than Imogen feels like it's trying to get their issues squared away as quickly as possible so we can focus on the moon - quickly freeing Ashton of their obligations to Jiana, one-and-done resolving Chetney's struggles with lycanthropy with zero exploration of why Ruidus had any impact on him or why the Weave Mind gave a shit, or having Essek bind Delilah after she barely caused any trouble, just to name a few.
This is not, to be clear, an accusation of main character syndrome. In fact I think one of the biggest reason Campaign 3 struggles as a story is that Laura at no point seems to actually want to be in the driver's seat and the narrative screeches to an interminable halt because of her indecision (and because Matt does not force the issue; a reluctant main character is not an unheard of trope but the decision must be made in the end). But if you're whining about how such-and-such character in another campaign is equally the main character and we're just oh so mean to Imogen specifically...that's simply not true. Every other campaign tells its story either through each of the various characters' arcs (C2), or with the arcs unfolding alongside the plot (C1, C4), whereas Campaign 3 mostly treats everything but Imogen's arc as something to quickly eliminate so we can focus on the Moon Plot, for which only Imogen is really necessary. And then we and the entire world must wait until Imogen makes up her mind, which she doesn't, and so the plot drags along miserably until the Raven Queen sees something that has gone on too long and mercifully severs the thread, freeing us all so we could go watch Divergence and Wildemount Wildlings.
Of course, you can dispute this; but given that pretty much everyone who thought Campaign 3 was good expected there to be significant post-Moon Plot story arcs and pitched a fit about the cast ending the story abruptly to hit their 10 year anniversary, I think it's impossible to now believably claim that other characters (or, for that matter, Imogen as Laura envisioned her) were sufficiently served by the narrative rather than pushed past to tell a story none of them, even Imogen, particularly cared about. For all I have my criticisms, and for all it was pretty clear that the Moon Plot was it, I do wish there had been a Campaign 3 that actually showcased Bells Hells as they were envisioned by the players. But there wasn't.
i love this post so much. all the replies are like
"i'm so basic.....i just like a lot of butter or jam :(" (as though those are not god's best and most beloved condiments and his greatest gifts to mankind)
"FUCK health guidelines FUCK my cholesterol and most importantly FUCK diet culture i'll put a dumpster full of butter on my toast and not even GOD will stop me" (no notes. god would encourage this)
doxxing one's self by mention of polarizing regional delicacies (i am so curious about vegemite i must admit)
"does a grilled cheese count as toast?" (not for the purposes of this post)
"i don't like toast please don't kill me" (i appreciate the honesty but i fear this post is not for you)
people who put full ass meals on toast (based)
people who do not but eat toast as a full meal (based)
melty peanut butter (absolutely based)
"it's a guilty pleasure but...nutella 😳" (relieve yourself of fear and enjoy your dessert toast)
special shoutout to the pots-havers adding extra salt. also the one person who mentioned kaya. i see you and am in agreement
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