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@magatsutime

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rottenmiso replied to your post
new phone who dis
idk my bff jill??
I made this in like a minute iâm sorry
rottenmiso replied to your post
new phone who dis
idk my bff jill??

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   Those people were the most fun.
   By the time Adachi reached him, Izaya had folded the binoculars and slipped them into his pocket, casually turning to walk along the overpass as though he had been minding his own business the entire time.  So when someone suddenly called out to him it wasnât strange for him to look just a little bit surprised.
   âHm?  Oh, were you talking to me?â
   The informant stopped in apparent confusion, glancing around the empty bridge as though suddenly expecting to see someone that hadnât been standing there before.  But when no one else made themselves known, he turned back to the detective and offered him a small, pleasant sort of smileâone that didnât fit the type of man who would watch over people from above.
   âI wouldât say very long.  Why?  Are you a detective?  You donât really look like one at all!â  Not with ill-fitting clothes and that at-home kitchen scissor haircut, anyway.
   Still smiling, Izaya let his hands come to rest in his pockets, a casual gesture that spoke volumes.  He was completely at ease, hardly concerned or embarrassed that he had been caught observing someone, and the fact that Adachi was a member of the police force didnât seem to unnerve him at all.
   âOh, but that might have been rude of me.  I didnât see anything particularly interesting from up here, but if Iâm able to help Iâd be more than happy to offer my services to you.â
Didnât this guy have binoculars out like a second ago? Adachi almost had to admire the absurdity of this guy acting like butter wouldnât melt in his mouth when he had been so blatant about his spying before. The jab at both his appearance and professional manner rolled off of him like water off feathers. He didnât have the energy to get upset every time someone made a comment like that, not did he have the inclination to do so. It wasnât like being seen as a detective was much to brag about these days, anyway. Moving back to the city had just highlighted how idiotic all of his coworkers were. He had thought it was just a small-town thing, restricted to boring country places like Inaba, but no, most cops were absolutely morons. So, he waved a hand, as if brushing away the rude remark with a sheepish grin. âOh, haha, donât worry about it! I get that a lot, believe it or not...â his shoulders slumped, posture as awful as ever as he glanced down over the railing of the overpass. âThanks for being cooperative, sir, yâknow not a lot of people these days are so willing to help. Guess I sure was lucky to run into you, huh?â he narrowed his eyes just a bit, as if implying that he truly doubted luck had much to do with encounter at all. âAnyway!â the detective straightened up, like he had just remembered the purpose of this entire conversation. âA shop keeper down there said some kids ran off with some merchandise without paying. You didnât happen to see anything, did you?â
I will neither confirm nor deny any attempt to usurp anyoneâs throne.
Your silence on the matter is confirmation enough.
I see someone is trying to usurp the reigning memelord.Â
clandestineking:
@magatsutime
   The request was like something out of a daytime TV drama, so convoluted and frankly bizarre that he initially planned to turn it down.  A father from a sleepy rural town seeking justice for his daughterâs murder, one of several victims that had fallen prey to a sick and twisted mind.  Tokyo was a little too far away to pay attention to such a story, and as such the information broker didnât find much merit in playing detective.  So many things were happening in the city even as they spoke, and how could he be bothered to take the time away from such important matters to look into countryside serial murders?
   A lot of information had been given to him already, but it wasnât until he learned that the suspect had likely returned to the Tokyo area.  And, as odd as the case was, Izaya couldnât exactly deny that his interest had been sparked.  It wasnât as though he had been tasked to bring anyone down himselfâall he had to do was locate the man, observe him, and gather what information he could.
   Easy.
   After reading into things a bit more, he ultimately decided to accept, although not before negotiating a fairly pricey fee.  It wasnât money he needed, but his time was important.  And as such it took several days for the broker to actually get around to finding the man in question.  Not that it had been difficult.
   Learning the otherâs schedule had been easy, and one afternoon Izaya decided to place himself in the prime position to observe the man named Adachi Tohru.  Even with the bustling city crowds, a man like Izaya stood outâeven more so should anyone decide to look up onto the overpass.  The small set of binoculars was hardly inconspicuous, but remaining completely unnoticed had never been his goal.  He wanted to see what kind of man this Adachi actually was, and what he would do if he realized he was being watched like some sort of wild animal.
He hadnât been sure what to expect upon returning to Tokyo. A change, at least. More respect, better cases, less boredom, anything. But as far as Adachi could tell, the only thing that had changed was himself. There wasnât much respect to be gained from coming off an unsolved case in a small town, he had found. His new colleagues were just as boring as his old ones had been. He had traded in petty neighborhood disputes for petty crime, instead. All in all, he was bored. Maybe some things really did never change? âSo, the thieves stole approximately „·2000 in candy and then fled the scene before you could stop them?â he asked, a sigh left unvoiced behind his words. âThatâs what Iâm telling you! They were fast, too and itâs not the first time theyâve hit my shop. I have reason to believe there is some organized criminal activity going on-â âHow would you describe the suspects?â âAbout ten years old, maybe?â Adachi flipped his notebook shut with an air of finality, glancing down to hide the annoyance that flitted across his face. âRight. Iâll tell you what, Iâm going to go and ask around, see if anyone else in the area has been targeted by these criminals,â he practically spat out the words, turning on his heel to stalk out of the corner store. Once outside he felt like he finally breathe, the smog of Tokyo filling his lungs in a way that the fresh, clean air of Inaba never could. Oh, yeah, he was definitely bored. Part of him was starting to regret ever leaving but Dojima-san had gotten a mad-eyed look about in the last few months. It hadnât been worth the constant flipping between grief, apathy and anger in his partner to stay around. His gaze shifted upwards, resting briefly on the patchwork of power lines overhead and entertaining the thought of a body draped over them. It was only then that he noticed a lone figure on the overpass, apparently looking straight at him. Of course, he could have been looking at anyone on the street, it was a busy, hectic mid-afternoon as per usual after all. Adachi knew that wasnât the case. He was looking at him and Adachi had no idea why. If that wasnât enough to unnerve a man, then nothing else was. He glanced briefly down to his notebook, blank as he hadnât found the case of the ten year old mastermind thieves worth recording, and quickly made a decision. Reaching the overpass was a mission, fighting against the crowds, but he managed. âExcuse me!â he called out to the man once he was close enough, deciding to play the earnest cop card that he wore like a second skin these days. âHave you been up here long? If so, you might be able to help out with a case Iâm investigating.â
from this
rottenmiso:
   Ugh.
   Your stomach felt like it had been tumble drying a large load of laundry for the past three hours, and you had to commend the detective, really. He made it worse in a way only he could have.
   Your breath stopped. The words on screen shook in the haze.
   Itâd be a while before you composed yourself. But when you didâŠ
[To: Adachi Tohru]
That depends on whether or not I consider you a friend, Adachi-san. :)
Itâs too late now. Iâm answering anyway. So, in all seriousnessâŠ
If I had to kill a friend, itâs probably the kind of doomsday situation where nobody is making it out alive. In that case, it would be merciful to do it, and I wouldnât see much of a choice.
All of them.
Iâd kill myself before it got to that point, anyway.
He stared down at the response, surprised that he even got one at all. He hadn't exactly been thinking long-term beyond some instant amusement when he had tapped it out, with no intention of actually sending.
[To: Yu Narukami] Jeeze, kid. Way to get dark on it. You must be a real downer in games of Fuck, Marry and Kill.
Adachi gave pause after sending that, drumming his fingers against his work desk as he considered his options. Already he was treading thin ice and it always seemed that much closer to cracking in times like these. That just made it more interesting though, right?
[To: Yu Narukami] Iâd do the same though! I mean, the whole mercy killing everyone thing. Itâd suck for them to just suffer.Â
Maybe it wouldnât be out of mercy, but other than that...
[To: Yu Narukami] If it ever comes to that, like zombie apocalypse or something then Iâll take you out first. What else are friends for? :D

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rottenmiso: [To: Adachi Tohru]
âGoodâ is relative, Adachi-san.
Oh, that reminds me. In the one with the dark blue lid, there really is cat food. You can feed it that.
[msg]: fine ill feed it tha [msg]: wait what [msg]: why would you give me cat food
â
Send â for a text that should never have been sent
[To: Yu Narukami]Quiz time! If you had to kill one of your friends, who would it be? [To: Yu Narukami]Ahaha, just kidding! Wrong number. :)
[From]
[To: Adachi Tohru] Daily Cat Facts: I am, in fact, overlord of all members of the species Felis Catus. Barring that obvious falsehood, it seems a cat⊠wait for it⊠likes you. It probably wants you to give it food.
[msg]: stop i unsubscribed i have paid my dues im a good person i dont deserve this. [msg]: im gonna feed it all of the tupperware bullshit you saw fit to bestow upon me. i hope it overeats and dies on your doorstep.Â
â Different roads sometimes lead to the same castle. â
The shop was empty, as it so often was these days. If he were to be honest, Adachi could absolutely understand why that was. Sure, support local businesses and all that bullshit, but jobs around here didnât pay much and Junes had much better prices on liquor. Local businesses were doomed to die a languid death at the hands of big corporations and he couldnât bring himself to feel too bad about it. It was the new food chain.Besides, it gave him plenty of time to waste here, with no one around to question what a detective was doing loitering at the store so much. That said, he could feel his presence starting to wear on Saki. Maybe she had tolerated him only as a possible means to escape this boring hell-hole of a town. He almost couldnât blame her for that. âWhen will your parents be back to take care of the store?â he asked suddenly, straightening up from his slump against the counter. For a moment, he was looking through her, eyeing up a dusty old relic of a television set in the background. It was small, but so was she and where there was a will, there was a way.
@snarksuke liked for a starter
âHey,â Adachi squinted at the back of the head belonging to the person he was addressing, unsure if he had the right person at all. âYou donât still work for the department, do you?âÂ
He was a solid 85% sure that he didnât, but when you spent half of your time being a coffee gopher, it was easy to fall out of the loop. Well, that and he didnât tend to pay much attention to the rest of his co-workers. No point in getting invested if this was going to be a short-term pit stop in his life. That was about as optimistic as he got these days, apparently.Â
It had been nice to know that there were people around who made worst first-impressions than he did though.Â

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â
Send â for a drunk text
[msg]: theres a cat watching me[msg]: *judging me[msg]: did you send it[msg]: youre a witch arent you and its your familiar[msg]: cant a man struggle to unlock his front door in peace[msg]: is nothing sacred????
⌠(As in, congratulations on forgetting how to write tags)