mae,,

Alia can access the memories of her ancestors, so imagine Electra's memories surfacing through her.

While Paul was the mastermind behind the Harkonnens' downfall, it was Alia who killed the Baron, her gom jabbar spilling his life. Having a descendant who possesses both Electra's fury and the power to act feels like the role she was denied in life finally becoming hers.

Please enjoy this scenario:

~~~~~~~~

As Alia closed in on Baron Harkonnen, another memory rose—not one she had lived, but one she had inherited.

She was standing in Mycenae.

Agamemnon lay dead, tangled in a net. Blood spread across the floor. She was powerless to stop it.

Years passed in just mere milliseconds: mourning, humiliation, the desperate hope that Orestes would return.

Then the memories became impossible to separate.

Agamemnon was Leto.

The palace was Arrakeen.

Aegisthus was Grandfather.

The grief—the memories—was her own!

She waited for Paul, but he didn't come. With every passing second, their father's killer still breathed. Justice was denied.

And somewhere among the countless ancestral voices, one rose above the rest:

"Don't wait, Letoides! Do it!"

She didn't think twice. Her needle struck true.

For a heartbeat, the voices fell silent, save for one ecstatic cry that slowly faded into the chorus. A longing loosened its grip on her, as though a wound opened on Old Earth had finally begun to close on Arrakis.

The Baron stared back in disbelief.

Alia smiled.

"You've met the Atreides gom jabbar."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

due to my fascination with the concept, i have become fascinated with the person, to a worrying degree as perhaps some of my friends can testify. sometimes my whole sense of self hinges on the person action or lack thereof, and this has sent me down many downward spirals as well as produced bouts of euphoria.

chasing said euphoria, i have begun a stalkerish campaign against their social media presence. the more i learn about the person, the more inadiquate i feel myself. without revealing too much here, they are a truly remarkable individual whom i look up to and aspire to be. they scare me sometimes with how close to my ideal self they seem to be.

i am aware that this has evolved into largely a projection of my own faults and insecurities, both of which i have in abundance. i wish i could cut them out of my life for good, but i know i cannot enforce such a ban for any length of time before pathetically scuttling back like a rat.

my mental state is genuinely horrid and has been for a while. i suppose it has worsened since i heavily connect this concept which i take great joy in to the person who has been the catalyst for many depressive episodes, none of which, ofc, are they responsible for. i am going back to school after a break in this september and while i am petrified of meeting people again i hope the shit i endure there can take my mind of whatever this is.

if i end up posting this, they probably won't see it and if they do they won't know its them so rest assured. i don't think i've overstepped any boundaries that might hint at this parasocial obsession. i'm quite proud of that actually. it might be the only thing i'm doing right here.

Inside her head:

Jessica: You're a freak abomination

Agamemnon: Let me tell you how my wife, and women in general, suck