home is wherever i'm with you

Do you mean, like, who I want to go on the date with, or who else I’d take with me? Because obvi anyone who goes out with me has to get @mascarthy‘s approval, so it would probs save everyone time if I brought him with and we just doubled!

Why would I want to do that? Like, from the time people are babies they’re just waiting until they’re old enough to get a boyfriend or girlfriend to do a couple’s costume with. I was born with someone to be matchy matchy with, I’m not giving that up for nothing!

There are like a couple of Cheerios who are cute enough and nice enough, but I feel like Coach Sue would be super duper scary to anyone on the squad who was dating each other in case they caused #drama, so that’s cancelled.

I can totes go through everyone in glee club for you, though, since that place loves drama!

@goldstarraph: No. He’s like waaaay too obsessed with himself to be a good boyfriend for Masey-Mase.

@finnhuds: No! A quarterback and a cheerleader is like way too basic, and also the quarterback gets waaaaay more attention! @mascarthy is not a side-character, he’s totally the main event! 

Mercedes: No! Isn’t she obsessed with tater tots? Those can’t be a part of Mason’s daily diet, and he doesn’t need that kind of temptation.

@kaithummel: No. She doesn’t like boys, does she?

@artieabrcms: No! His vibe is like all over the place, dating someone that predictable seems super stressful. 

@tinacc: No! Everyone in glee club has already seen her boobs and Mason’s super good at sharing from having a twin his whole life, but that doesn’t mean he should have to share his girlfriend’s boobs with everyone we know! 

@quinnfcbray: No. I’m not ready to be an aunt. 

@fondueforbritt: Maybe. I can’t think of a good reason for him to not be allowed to date Britt-Britt! 

@sntanalopez: No! I can’t have anyone who’s going to accidentally mess up Masey-Mase’s confidence, even if she claims to mean her insults with love at any point!

@npuck: No! Too much drama, and not the fun kind!

@mattrutherfcrd: Maybe. Another person I can’t think of a super good reason to say no to, unless he’s secretly in love with Michaela.

@michaelaschang: Yes. She’s like, perfect, but also lowkey enough that she wouldn’t outshine Mason. 

@josiestjames: No! See Raph’s answer for reasons. 

@thesamevans: Maybe. Only if I’m in a relationship with someone else already because Sam is totes the type of boy we could end up fighting over, and fighting is BAD!

@laurcnzizes: No. She’s also super full of herself and kind of mean, sooooo not a good combo!

@andersonb: Yes! He and Mason would be super cute boyfriends.

Rory: No??? I don’t want to set my brother up for heartbreak when Rory inevitably goes back to Ireland. Long distance relationships don’t work, duh!

Joe: NO. He doesn’t wear shoes enough and although Mason’s feet are perfectly pedicured, that doesn’t mean he needs to start prancing around shoeless, too! 

Marley: Yes. Subdued and sweet, she’d be like a way supportive and nice girlfriend who wouldn’t steal Mason’s spotlight. 

@justjake: No. He’s so grouchy!!!

@rydlynn: Maybe. See my answer about Sam for reasons!

Unique: No. Another person who’s waaaay too much of a diva for Mason.

@wldekitty: No. She’s like another Santana, except slightly more allowable since she put us high on the Glist. 

Bree: No!!! A Santana-ier Santana, yikes!

@janeshaywards: No. Her hair is too big, and her legs are too perfect, it would distract from how great Mason is when they were out in public together. 

@roderickrules: No. Roderick’s like, totally good enough, but he was sort of my friend first thanks to our duet assignment and I don’t want him to like Mason more than me because they start doing kissy things, sorry. 

@porterspncr: Maybe. Spencer’s super funny and not enough of a football star yet to like, be a threat. 

Alistair: No. His hair’s longer than mine. 

Myron: No. D I V A. 

I mean, you’re not wrong… I was a pretty killer babysitter back in Texas - well, not killer like the babysitter in that Netflix movie, but you get what I mean. The problem, though, is that I’m new and most parents wouldn’t want to trust their kid to someone that just moved here as opposed to someone who’s parents they grew up with…

Thanks for the compliment, though. Hopefully having that kind of face is a good thing? You’re… Madison, though, right? I think we share a class together?

Oh, you’re from Texas? That’s so cute! Are you the Remember the Alamo kind or the Keep Austin Weird kind or the rodeo kind or like... other? That’s probs true, but you could start with like neighbors or something. Go over and take them a ‘hi, just wanted to meet you’ batch of cookies or something! But do it with everyone, not just the ones where you see kids playing in the yards. You want to seem friendly to all, not like a creepy creep creep!

Puck: you really took the time to figure that out, huh? thanks for that lovely mental image.

Puck: if it helps, i personally don't believe that you're doing anything with him, but... i kind of see why people do? you guys just have this... energy.

Madison: I can't help it! I've got like, a super curious brain. I always want to know new things! Even if they're weird and gross and I so end up regretting them later.

Ryder: Because tests are hard enough to study for without "take me away, a secret place, a sweet escape, take me away" coming up in my head instead of the square root of whatever 😂

Ryder: Obvious can be fun I think but Can't Stop the Feeling is an ear worm too so maybe it can be like the mating of the ear worms! Well, good luck and if you want to join in on my mashup idea, I think it'd be cool as a sophomore group number anyway.

Madison: You can sooooo use that to your advantage! Remember square roots to the tune of the song! I mean, it might be hard, like, I'm not sure how well 144 and 12 will fit in syllable wise, but you can try. Even if you fail you'll probs remember better since you made the effort at all.

Ryder: I had no idea I was about to get attacked by Natasha Bedinfeld stans 😂 I love Unwritten but you got to admit, Pocketful really does not leave your head.

Ryder: Thatd be cool! Sugar was trying to come up with another sun song to do a sunny mashup thing but everyone loves JT. Do you know what your doing for this week yet, Mads?

Madison: And that's a bad thing WHY? Usually the things that stay in your head forever and ever are the important things, so like, logic means Pocketful of Sunshine is important!!!

Ryder: I don't know about you guys but you can't really get more "songs about togetherness" than doing a mashup, right? Anyone have any ideas about songs that could mash up with Pocketful of Sunshine that make it less annoying maybe?

Madison: 'Less annoying'???? Pocketful of Sunshine is a M A S T E R P I E C E. Like, not as good as Unwritten but Natasha Bedingfield is totes a genius.

Mason: Maybe they did mean to do that! They're very similar numbers! In a way they're kind of the fraternal twins of integers!

Mason: Yes, I'm taller, but you have such long pretty hair and the nicest smile ever! I think that trumps legs!

Mason: I'm sure they do! You're the most amazing girl ever, why wouldn't they? I don't know anyone in specific but they wouldn't tell me because they know you'd read my mind and know immediately! P.S. kind of? It's a mental list but it's always changing because people are weird! Can I know who's on my list? Or is it not time?

Madison: They could have just gotten too excited writing the second five and ended up doing a loop. I mean, loops make all letters and numbers cuter, I so can't blame them.

Madison: Please, you have like, a nose-model nose and the rest of the face around it is like a perfect fit, and that's to GO with the legs!

Mason: I don't know! I thought for sure we would tie!

Mason: If either of us had to be higher though, I'm glad it's you!

Mason: OOOOH maybe it's because you sang with Blaine that one time! I don't think anyone's imagined me dating anybody but you totally seem like you could!

Madison: Me too! Like, we're sort of a packaged deal! Maybe they meant to write 5 and 5 instead?

Madison: I don't think they want to date us, just look at us maybe? Which brings us back to the legs thing. You like, literally stand above the crowd, you're way more noticeable!

Quinn: ONE little pregnancy and I'm under RODERICK MEEKS in a hot/not list? Excuse me, I've gone up two cup sizes in two months. The baby bump is a nonfactor at this point.

Does anyone know of any places that are willing to hire a fifteen year old for an after school job? I kind of… owe my parents a bit and I want to give back, but most of the places that are hiring don’t really want to deal with a fifteen year old…

Oh, uh… for those that might not know me, I’m Marlon… I moved here over the summer… or, well, my parents moved here because my mom wanted to take care of her mom, but… yeah.

I don’t know about like actual places, I’m way too busy with cheer to have like a super consistent job since you never know when Coach Sue’s going to need you to like, clean her shoes for her with a toothbrush... but have you tried babysitting? You totes have the kind of face that screams ‘trust me with your baby!’

Roderick: oh.

Roderick: Yeah, that makes way more sense than you randomly deciding to hate me. I was wondering if maybe I got too sweaty singing Falling Slowly with you or idk the glare from my bald head blinded you or something. And now that I know all that, I realize how irrational that was! Wow, I'm....a dumbass.

Roderick: Well thank you for /not/ drawing dicks on my face. I'm sorry for accusing you of something so stupid, let me make it up to you. I owe you a free coffee at the Lima Bean.

Madison: I for sure don't hate you! I like, opposite of hate you, I swear. If you were sweaty I totes didn't notice and I like your bald head. Most people would look kind of eggy but yours has a nice shape, it totes works.

Madison: You're not a dum-dum, though! I mean, it's probs not cool that Mason and I like... let that kind of stuff happen when we don't agree with it. Cheer's just super important to us, you know? Sometimes we just do what we have to do to stay on the team, even if the brave thing to do would be to like, stand up for people.

Kitty: Unless you mean people smiling at you when they're making fun of you and Jaime Lannister, I haven't really seen much of it. Mostly eyerolls. I don't think anyone can make Sue ACTUALLY smile, outside of dying in front of her or something. Oh I'm sure she's going to make us do something shitty to get back on her good side. Or stick us on the bottom of the pyramid.

Puck: i can't put my dick in a brain, maddie

Puck: that's fine by me

Puck: yeah, i wouldn't call a twin tasty if i were you, considering the rumors that go around about you and your brother

Madison: Ew! You're probs right about that, unless you like... went through the ear or the nose? No, nvm, pretend I never said that ever! #trauma