diary of a wimpy kid.

𝕎𝕖𝕖𝕜 𝟙𝟛: 𝕎𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤

“I dunno man, this has just always been one of my favorite songs. I learned how to play it on guitar and it’s kind of the only song I know how to play, so...enjoy.” 

Blaine: Maybe that IS the reason we won? I'll admit that I was afraid that everyone was way too distracted to deliver a good performance, but it seems like we all found a way to pour all those emotions into our performance. I'm really proud of us!

Raphael: One, I appreciate that you also agree that I don't belong on the not list.

Raphael: Secondly, does someone need to explain to you why that's an incredibly unhealthy and unsanitary thing to admit? Do you even do laundry?

Roderick: Of course I do laundry! Spray-on deodorant is like, dry shampoo for clothes, duh.

Bree: I'm wondering how we won at all, but sure, let's congratulate ourselves for barely beating two programs that are more underfunded than us - one of which is a /deaf/ choir.

[Sent in the format of a classic iOS press release]

Kitty: So I know you all have a lot of questions about the Glist and why I made it and why I placed certain people in certain spots and honestly. I gave you the weekend to think about it and if you still don't know, Just ask Roderick. It was all his idea and I don't want most of you people speaking to me.

Xoxo 💋

Kitty

Raphael: I'd like to point out that SOME OF YOU obviously know that I'd be the best leader because I didn't nominate myself, which I'm sure none of you will believe and I probably wouldn't be able to corroborate my side.

Raphael: SO, two things!!! Who nominated me, and put me on the not-list!?

Madison: Omg, really???? I'm so sorry, I had no idea!

Madison: I mean, you're probs right, we have to like stand there while the Cheerios do mean things sometimes and pretend we're super okay with it so that we don't get kicked off the squad! Don't tell anyone I admitted this, but we're kind of not that important yet so we're usually in the back?

Madison: I can ask Mason if he knew what they were drawing on, he's taller than me, he probs had a better view! But if I'd known that was what we were drawing on I would have drawn sunshine and rainbows and hearts and smiley faces, not like... gross things, I promise!

Roderick: oh.

Roderick: Yeah, that makes way more sense than you randomly deciding to hate me. I was wondering if maybe I got too sweaty singing Falling Slowly with you or idk the glare from my bald head blinded you or something. And now that I know all that, I realize how irrational that was! Wow, I'm....a dumbass.

Madison: Isn't he the best? I raised him so well! But like, if you ever do hear of him making anybody sad let me know! I doubt he could like get that past me without me noticing but you never know, high school could have made him sneakier!

Madison: Wait what? Our duet was super awesome! I loved getting to work with you, I totally would have sang with you again??? What are you talking about?

Roderick: there is a LOT to unpack there, but it's adorable so I'll let it slide.

Puck: i guess

Puck: i mean, he's the one who blabbed about it, yeah, but... i'm the one who started all this.

Roderick: sucks.

Mason: Gosh, Jane's voice is AMAZING, that would've killed! And thank you! You and Madison would really rock another duet too, or we could've done a three-part harmony maybe? Either way, your voice is literally stunning to the senses and would've been perfect at a competition and the more I think about it, the more I wish that's how it had been. But the older kids have become the unofficial leaders so... who knows?

Kitty: Us...boring kids... Speak for yourself. But you do have a point. You got any drama brewing that we can exploit?

Roderick: Hmmm...nope.

Mason: I have no idea! I really didn't think we had a chance since people don't seem to have their heads in the game but I'm so glad we won! Maybe they were able to channel their baggage into a compelling performance to the judges??

Mason: The underclassmen really should take over next time though, I think...

Puck: no offense, dude, but sectionals isn't exactly the thing on my mind right now

Puck: ...which i guess kind of proves your point

Puck: but idk, all i had to do was sway around in the background and harmonize while raph did what he does best - opening his big fat mouth

Roderick: Yeah, he and Finn KINDA killed those solos, so I can't complain about his big mouth but...I guess you can.

Kitty: Especially with the two biggest baggage handlers taking the lead. Your guess is truly as good as mine

Madison: You wouldn't? Why not?

Madison: OMG, is the person who made you sad Mason? Because like, you're right, I'm kind of blood-sworn to be on his side always, but I could like, talk to him while he's sleeping and then he could wake up and think it was suddenly his idea to be nice to you instead.

Roderick: no, I don't care what your brother does. He's like, harmless. If he tried to make me sad he'd probably just accidentally end up complimenting me.