Holding Out For A Hero

Blaine: Oops, sorry!

Blaine: You're welcome to come over as well, though. Who knows, maybe you'll enjoy our company so much that you'll decide to join... ;)

Blaine: Oops, sorry!

Blaine: You're welcome to come over as well, though. Who knows, maybe you'll enjoy our company so much that you'll decide to join... ;)

As long as you can scoop gunk out a pool, you could wear a chicken costume for all I care, man. Yeah, just let me know. 

Nah, it’s cool, dude. No shame in my game. I mean… there was brief shame, since it’s with my best friend’s now ex-girlfriend, but… you know. That’s how it goes sometimes. 

Cool. I can inbox you my number and we can discuss when I can start? And when you want to hit the gym together, I guess?

I don’t think I’d have the stomach for that either, animals are the best alive!

It’s so nice that you feel that way about books! I’ve never been able to get lost in a book, honestly; my attention span runs out after a few seconds, so I doubt there’s any book good enough to transport me even if I had the time to sit and read but again, super cool that it’s possible for that to happen to you! It sounds like you read a lot!

Exactly. I mean, if I don’t have any other offers I might have to suck it up but... I’m going to exhaust every avenue until then.

Blaine: Hi everyone! I realised that we never really officially celebrated our recent Sectionals victory, and as my parents are out of town this weekend, I figured this Saturday would be the perfect time for me to host our very first New Directions party! It might be a nice distraction from the whole Glist situation too.

Blaine: So, I hope you'll all be there! The guest room and my brother's old room are available if anyone would like to stay overnight.

Wow, you’re so creative! I never even would’ve thought of jobs that involved dead animals or immoral or illegal things! I was thinking more like the person at the food court who hands out little corn dog samples. Taking care of old people sounds so nice, I wish I could do that but old people scare me.

I don’t know! I guess I read summaries online on the way home from cheer practice sometimes and that’s usually good enough for me! I just want to keep my GPA up enough to stay in the Cheerios, it’s not like I’m ever going to be a writer or an English teacher someday, you know?

I can’t really take all of the credit... Someone else offered me a job working alongside their dad cleaning up roadkill... I’m not really sure I’ve got the stomach for that, but if there aren’t many options out there...

I guess you don’t have to, but I mean, for me, that’s where most of my tips come in. Then again, if you’re actually cleaning the pools while I’m… you know… ‘unclogging pipes’ and ‘trimming hedges’… it might be pretty productive. You can wear whatever you want, as long as you get the job done. I’m sure your body’s fine, though. But if you want to work out with me sometime, I’m down. I mean, I’m a little busier than usual, but I’m sure we could work something out. I can give you some advice on how to become a super manly stud like myself.

I guess that’s something I’ve gotta do too. Brush up on dad jokes. My own dad was never really the joking type. At least not sober, anyway. And his jokes usually just pissed off my mom, so it’d probably be best to avoid that kind.

Born and raised, unfortunately, yeah. They don’t call Puckermans Lima Losers for nothing. 

OH. Wow... Okay... Yeah, I mean, I don’t mind cleaning pools and all but I’d rather do it in a tank and my arms should be nice enough to get some tips. But uh.. thanks. I might have to take you up on that offer. The one to work out with me. Not sure if I’d want to be a super manly stud or anything, but I’m always looking for some workout tips...

Okay, ‘anything’, that’ll make it easy to make recommendations!

And yeah, we probably do! I don’t really pay attention in classes though. Honestly, they’re my best time to nap so that I’m ready and refreshed for Cheerio practice after school. I’ll say hi next time though!

Okay, maybe not anything - if it involves dead animals, I might be a little skeptical, and of course not anything immoral or illegal but... yeah, I’m not opposed to custodial work or even taking care of an elderly neighbor or something...

Are you cool with scooping up roadkill? You wouldn’t have to touch it, just put it in a garbage bag. My dad would love someone to help with work during rush-hour traffic!

Marlon? Cool name. I’m Brittany, I’ve been in Lima for, like, forever.

Scooping up roadkill? I... I don’t know. I mean, I’m pretty desperate, but I’m not sure I could stomach seeing all those dead animals... Not to mention I’m not sure I’d want to risk cleaning the road during rush-hour, either...

Uh... if I don’t hear back from any of my prospects in a couple of weeks... I’ll take you up on that offer?

Oh, I know who you are. I mean, how could I not? You’re a Cheerio. But that’s cool. Do you like it?

Hi, Marlon! I’m Mason, in case you didn’t know! I don’t know of any places in specific but I’ll keep my eyes peeled for you! Is there any kind of job you’d like more than others?

Honestly? I’d take about anything right now... I just want to give back to my parents somehow.

I don’t know about like actual places, I’m way too busy with cheer to have like a super consistent job since you never know when Coach Sue’s going to need you to like, clean her shoes for her with a toothbrush… but have you tried babysitting? You totes have the kind of face that screams ‘trust me with your baby!’

I mean, you’re not wrong... I was a pretty killer babysitter back in Texas - well, not killer like the babysitter in that Netflix movie, but you get what I mean. The problem, though, is that I’m new and most parents wouldn’t want to trust their kid to someone that just moved here as opposed to someone who’s parents they grew up with...

I’ve still got about another month and a half of pool cleaning time this season, and I could use an assistant. I can’t pay much though. It’d be like… below minimum wage. You’d probably just be better off babysitting, honestly. Still, the offer’s there if you want it. 

‘Sup, Marlon? Name’s Nemo. Nah, just fucking with you. It’s Puck. But how funny would that be, you know? You could say you’ve been looking for me.

Cleaning pools?... I mean, honestly, I’ll take anything I can get at this point but uh... would I have to take off my shirt? I’m kind of... self-conscious about my body. 

Sugar: They wanted to hurt people with woooords, not fists. So if they really wanted to retaliate against the person who switched what are they gonna do? Rewrite the stupid glist?

Marlon: I don't know... In my experience some people use both words /and/ fists.

What do you do when sleep doesn't come to you, you come up with and write songs and hope they aren't garbage the next day. Tomorrow is going to be dreadful, well today rather.

...You write songs?

I mean, I usually tend to just lay there and day dream, or write in a journal, until I’m so exhausted I fall asleep... and then try to make sense of it the next day.