madraruadh

i assumed this was porn

Under communism the wait staff will not ask if Pepsi is okay. You will not even find out that's its Pepsi instead of coke until you take your first sip. Unless you train like me, to know the difference from the sound of the Fizz alone, that is the only way we can beat communism and I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP

The other day my wife told me about this influencer who said she needed to go on ozempic so she could go from 130 lbs down to 115 and I really cannot stress the degree to which we have so COMPLETELY lost the plot with this glp1 shit. Like not only are people are going on this shit for purely cosmetic purposes, the cosmetic purposes are delusional. This is the kind of mindset that gives people eating disorders but now because you can get a prescription instead of having to starve yourself or enduce vomiting a big swath of the general public seems eager to go along with it. Body Positivity did not go fucking far enough because I am being so real when I say that fatphobia is more of a public health crisis than obesity has ever been

why do cherries have to be sexual & strawberries get to be all innocent. why are we slut shaming fruit. what is the sexual valence of a blueberry

teaching a baby to talk via morshu youtube poops in an attempt to create a “morshu accent”

hi! my name is 🦭! my job is play toys and shapes at the water factory! i get paid in fish. after a long day i like to unwind with my hobby, kissing and hugging my friends! which i also get paid in fish for!

This thing is climate change incarnate.Stop personifying evil like it’s cute and cares about you

this thing is my girlfriend and she lets me cum inside unprotected

thinking about when i mentioned tom and jerry by title alone to my 65 year old father and his only response was to laugh REALLY hard and say "him and that fucking mouse.." while staring into the distance. and then the conversation was over