this devil is too sublime

you know you could’ve just said “no they don’t have wifi” and that would’ve answered the question

But then you wouldnt have known about the moose

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

Image description: a tweet by Kim Belair @BagelofDeath. Tweet reads: Aunt Dai is my favourite Chinese restaurant in Montreal, but the REAL treat is the menu, featuring extremely honest commentary from the owner. The tweet has a series of screencaps from the menu attached. In order, they read: 1) Owner’s words: little little bit spicy, more flavor of cumin, very tasty. We used to have the beef pieces on small sticks but several customers cut their lips by it thinking it was some hard ingredient (They must have watches some shows about weird Chinese food). To avoid incidents like this, no more sticks. Some good infusion from the overly fried onion slices (which you can eat). definitely recommend this. 2) Orange beef (Chén Pí Niú Ròu) $11,99 Owner’s words: Comparing to our General Tao Chicken, this one is not THAT good. Anyway, I am not big fan of North American Chinese food and it’s your call. 3) Ingredients: pork, wood ear, bamboo shoots, green peppers, red peppers Owner’s words: This is the number one choice dish ordered by Chinese customers across whole China according to an Internet survey and I totally believe that. When I was China and went to a restaurant, I always ordered this dish. It’s so popular that it has so many different versions in China. Since I have so high expectation on this dish, I am not a huge fan for our version to be honest. But don’t get me wrong, the plate at our restaurant is very tasty too, it’s just different from those where I went to university. 4) Satay sauce beef (shā chá niú ròu) $13,99 Owner’s words: This is new on our menu, I did NOT have chance to try this one yet. According to a lot of customers, this one is very popular, I still don’t have chance to taste it. Looks like I should spend more time eating in my own restaurant. 5) Ingredients: potatoes, chili, vinegar Owner’s words: This plate will show you how Chinese cuisine can do with our beloved potato outside of French fries, mash potato, chips. This potato Julian dish is very very popular in China. Let’s salute potato! 6) Owner’s comments: It has curry flavor, don’t expect it to be SO tasty but it’s a safe choice and make you happy.

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

guys in Appalachia will be named things like Brian O’Brian and Connor O’Connor

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

using violence to liberate people from sweatshops, unsafe mines, and grinding poverty isn't the same as using violence to impose those things on people. the idea that violence is morally repugnant regardless of context is a belief that every oppressor throughout history would love for the oppressed to hold

The next big tumblr meme is [x]berry I think.

i gave you a warningberry.

I am definitely a fan of hidden/concealed corridors and secret switches.

I really do wish meeting new people when you're autistic didn't result in the person viewing you as secretly evil for at least a month before realizing you just act slightly different than others without ulterior motive. I get that people meet a lot of assholes in life but omg. I didn't do anything