Destined for...

Reblog if you’d love to see Carrie Fisher strangle Donald Trump to death with a chain

At first I didn’t understand the context and I was like “kinda specific but sure yeah I’m down”

Exactly how it happened

Okay, but what is this joke about? Is it about how hard it is to find bathrooms in the city? Is it about how New Yorkers think that everything is easy to find? Is it how people who aren’t from New York can’t with the grid system? Is it about hot dog carts? What is the true target of this joke?!?!

Today is Copernicus’s 540th birthday. You may remember Copernicus as the man who said “Hey, what if the Earth went around the sun?” To which the Catholic Church replied “Hey, what if we set you on fire?” 

i keep telling boys that ask me out on dates that I haven’t seen The Force Awakens so that I can go see it again for free. I’m about to go see it for the 6th time

good news my friends! it was just as good the 6th time

if a man ever asks what women really want, show him this post

THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME

Mental illness is all in your head. Heart disease is all in your chest. Glaucoma is all in your eye. I already know which parts of the human body can have a problem. I am going to do great on my first day at medical school. 

Man: Siri, what is 1 trillion to the tenth power? Siri: Calculation. The answer is one zero zero zero zero zero [continuing] Man: *starts beatboxing to the rhythm. Woman 1: *joins in* Woman 2: *starts singing to the rhythm*

good morning cruel world

Don’t you mean goodbye?

no i meant good morning. this world may be cruel but i’m still kickin’

This really cheered me up